Jzn's Update on Operation Jailbird: "She got out around midnight. They totally kicked her out on the street too and wouldn't let her stay in the station until she could get picked up."

Fucking Chicago cops man.

I did get to go home early yesterday because I was sick and it was a good thing too because as soon as we got home we got a call that a friend of ours was just put in jail! Apparently, some pals were on one of the train platforms and she decided to go back out and get a drink. She exited the turnstyle and got the drink, then tried to use her pass to get back on. It wouldn't let her so she told the attendant she was just going to go through since she already paid once. She ducks down to go under the turnstyle and some undercover cops jump her and start roughing her around. She of course gets upset, tries to explain but they keep roughing her up. The girl maybe weighs 105 lbs here so it's not like she's a threat. After taking about as much rough handling as she can, she says something to the effect of "Hey, I'm an American citizen here." So they say something like "is that so" and cuff her immediately and take her to jail. YES, jail. Something that should have been a simple citation.

We went down to try to get her out and were confronted with the biggest bunch of assholes I've met up here. Even the desk cops at the front desk were shitty to us. They made her sit in jail until at least 11:00 p.m. last night, maybe later because I never heard what time they let her out. All for $1.75 which she already paid. Last I heard they were trying to get her for "obstruction of justice" as well as "trespassing." Jesus Christ.

I'm not going to generalize and say every cop is an asshole but every cop yesterday we talked with certainly was. Talk about feeling hopeless too. There was nothing we could do but let her sit in jail and that felt horrible. I haven't heard what time she was released but I have a feeling it was probably 4 a.m. this morning.

The worst part was they wouldn't let her explain, they kept being extremely rough (according to eye witnesses) when it was unnecessary and they were acting like power hungry pigs over a simple trespassing violation which really wasn't one at all. The only sweet thing about the whole ordeal was seeing how worried and willing to do anything her boyfriend was acting the whole time. I just feel bad for the both of them and I hope she makes a huge fucking deal of this.

And why not throw in a Friday Five too about religion while I'm on a rant? Eh?

1.) Were you raised in a particular religious faith? Yes, Mormonism. (Not to be confused with moronism)
2.) Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not? No, I voluntarily excommunicated myself right before I got married. I don't believe in their practices, beliefs or conduct.
3.) What do you think happens after death? I have 2 thoughts. We either stop, shut down, lights out, thanks for coming. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. OR...hopefully that sexy little goth-ette Death meets us and takes us somewhere cool.
4.) What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in or just observing)? I don't know if it's religious or not but I've always thought the Day of the Dead practices in Mexico are fascinating.
5.) Do you believe people are basically good? Yes, everyone thinks what they are doing is right. Plus, I think people are born basically pure and perfect.


You can get this from fark.com too, but in case it slipped your notice. Read the following:

Bush & Cheney to provide meaningless testimony before committee of congressional idiots. But don't worry, they aren't under oath or anything.

Maybe not all of us (see above) but some people may have evolved a little. A Fight Club with words held right here in Chicago!

I finished 2 light books in one week and now to slow things down a bit I'm wrapping my head around Wilhelm Reich's "Murder of Christ". It's proving to be a really interesting take on Jesus and how man as a whole is trapped in an emotional plague. The chapter I'm on right now is asking why Adam & Eve were punished for eating of the Tree of Knowledge if they did it to know God better. Isn't it man's quest to be like God, know God. How can what God created be evil,? etc. I'm not saying I 100% believe in any of Mr. Reich's theories or, hell, the Bible for that matter, but I love studying ways of thinking. And of course, this guy comes Bob approved so I had to check it out. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm hoping I can leave early from work today. I'm sicky-poo again with a sore throat and hacking cough. I sound like I should be named "Edna" and have a Misty 100 hanging off my lip. *Hack hack hack*


My pal Darren sent this to me and apparently it was on Fark.com yesterday but here you go....

Ebay Wedding Dress.

Be sure to read the description.

I couldn't resist. After discussing the place I'd live if I was rich and answering with "Italy, the house where "Stealing Beauty" was filmed," I had to rewatch that movie tonight.

That film is so beautifully made. Nothing makes me want to go back to being 19 again more than that movie. It also makes me long for a summer dress and long grass to walk barefoot in on a hot day. That and having a do-over for when I lost my virginity, but now I'm just getting all sappy. The dialogue and the way the film rolls along hooks me everytime. Awww....lovely.

I'm all about totally immersing myself in a film. You know where you lose track of your surroundings and can feel the scenes? Well maybe not, but there are only a handful of movies that do that for me. Goes the same for books too.

A friend told me to see his new movie, The Dreamers, but I haven't had a chance. Note to self...follow advice of friend's on movie picks.

Anyways, just wanted to jot that down before bed. Oh, that and I finished "Rosemary's Baby" at work today. Damn good book and thankfully this is one where the movie didn't screw it up. Good night guys!


We're not putting it up on Ebay, at least this stuff. So here's the link for you.
Shop at Mistress's house!

Settling into life back in Chi-town now. No, I still haven't really unpacked from this past weekend, but whatever.

Saturday I picked up a book called: "It's My F---ing Birthday". I ended up finishing it in one day yesterday, even braving motion sickness by reading it on the train. It's pretty good, short and funny. Yea, probably geared more towards chicks since it is about a chick. It's amazing how the universe works too. If there is one thing I believe in it's synchronicity and this book had some parts that related to my recent home-situation. So the fact that I noticed this book in a shelf full of 100's of other books is sorta weird to me. But anyways, if you liked "Good In Bed", pick this sucker up. (SIDE NOTE: Looks like Jennifer Weiner has a new book coming out girlies!! Yay!)

Now I'm reading "Rosemary's Baby" by Ira Levin. I swear, I have some weird fascination with that movie/book. I've literally watched that movie about 45 times. Now I have the book and I've already read about half of it and I started last night about 10:30 p.m.

Also just found out there is a new comic series by Neil Gaiman called "1602" which I will be picking up forthwit. A new graphic novel by Gaiman? I'm surprised I haven't spontaneously combusted.

Watched a good movie last night called "Down With Love" with the dreamy Ewan McGregor....yum. I really liked how the film looked. It also made me want to wear maribou high heels after a long bath, but that's besides the point.

That's about all, methinks. I took some silly pics last night and will post them tonight for you kiddies. I like decorating this site with pictures, hope you don't mind either. We are also going to be selling a ton of stuff on Ebay. Mostly computer/music equipment/TV's/speakers so I'll put the links up when we post them, hopefully tonight. Come on, support the Mistress! You know you want too!

Stay tuned.


GWO IV (or the Dirty Girls Social Club) was this weekend and after an especially shitty week, I needed it.

Nothing like some friends and some Hooter's to set your mood straight.

Thursday I rolled into E.'s house and we did our usual first night of talking till the wee hours. Lots to discuss this time. Egads. I also got to watch my yearly viewing of Survivor with E. & J. I think one more year and I'll figure out the rules of that show. One real positive is that we got to celebrate with J. her pregnancy!!! Yay! Let's see...I'll give a rundown so I don't forget anything.

Friday we woke up early and went to Christina's for facials and discovered it was Hawaiian week. We ended up getting food, drinks and free gifts plus a hot wax treatment for our hands. It almost made up for the less than stellar facial H. & I got. Well, to be fair I didn't think it was too crappy until I realized what the chick DIDN'T do. For instance, she didn't massage our necks or shoulders. I could have used that. Anyhoo....Then we headed to lunch at Applebee's. After that on to "All Fired Up" to paint some pottery pieces. We ended up staying there for 4 hours because we each picked 2 pieces (So we're a little over confident?)!! It was a blast though because we got to have some laughs and get covered in paint. We definitely earned the price we paid. Later we came back, got spiffied up and went to Mt. Fuji. It's a hibachi style Japanese steakhouse and if you ever go, get the shrimp. The service was pretty slow but it was nice just talking. (Yes, after a day and a half, we still have tons to discuss...like men shaving their genitals...do we prefer or not?)

After dinner we headed over to Priscilla's Sex Toy shop. There I saw the most redneck thing I've ever seen. 2 adults left their 3 kids in the back of their car while they ran in to look through movies, toys, etc. The icing on the cake: the woman didn't have any shoes on, just socks. God. J. finally got her some maribou heels and I picked up some porn from the early 1930's and some stockings. Woo Hoo. After some delicious ice crea, we then go back to E.'s house to view the porn and hit the sheets for some sleep.

Saturday we woke up, ate breakfast at Nirvana's and left for Indy for a day of shopping. A GWO tradition is shopping so it had to be done. We stopped at Half Price books before the mall and scoured the clearance and Erotica section. If there's one thing us girls love to discuss it's the many facets of the sexual experience. A couple girls bought some books so I'm hoping for full reviews! After that we went to Castleton Mall. I ended up finding a skirt and a jacket for a reasonable price. Even got to help J. try on prego clothes too. I made her try on a jean skirt and she loved it. (Thank you very much.) She's going to be adorable with a big ol' belly! After shopping we went to Hooter's for a plate of 50 hot wings. Damn. Us girls like us some hot wings. We tried to buy the Hooter's tank top but they were sold out. I think we all feel a little saucy when we all get together. That and the over whelming need to shop until we puke.

Heather got a little tipsy at Hooter's and entertained us the entire way home. Once we returned H. packed her things and left for the night. J., E. and I went to the grocery store where we couldn't resist buying some $4 flip flops from the Misc. aisle (just had to include a little more shopping) and listened to hip-hop the entire way. Once we got home we played some euchre and went to bed. J. & I continued our GWO tradition of waiting till the last night to stay up until 2 a.m. talking some more. (Why we don't do that the first night I have no idea. Hee hee.)

This morning I rolled into town and was met by my husband. I'll get into that later, but let's just say I'm glad he was at home when I got there. I wasn't so sure when I left, but things are looking up. :) More pix to be included in a short bit. Gotta unpack and relax.


Quick note: Pick up the new Adbusters Magazine (Issue 53). From what I scanned on the train, it's a pretty comprehensive history of the United States and our military intervention through time. To quote a friend: "It's amazing how much history repeats itself."

What a night! We saw Air last night at the Riviera. I was so impressed with their live show and the way they sounded. The venue was super cool too, an old theater in which we got great seats and could see everything. If they come to your town and you dig their music, definitely check them out. Worth the $26 a ticket price tag for sure.

Ended the night by walking in some semi-warm rain and playing some Halo. When is freaking Halo 2 coming out? Can anyone help me out with the release date???? This site says fall of 2004, but I don't buy it.

Tonight is packing, laundry and last minute to-do's to get ready for GWO this weekend. Hopefully we can sneak in a little Halo or something too. I am absolutely anxious as all hell to get going though. Don't get me wrong, I'll miss my Chicago buds and theMan but there is something about hanging out with my girls for a weekend. Soooo much has happened since our last get together too. I have a feeling it's going to be late night talk-fests for 3 days straight. Bring it on! Not too mention all the kick-ass food we eat when we're together. The menu this weekend looks like Japanese steakhouse, Hooter's, and possibly some italian or Cheesecake Factory. Damn. Come on Thursday........

I haven't done shit at work all week. I suppose I better try to earn my keep today, but I'm not in the mood. If any of you are online, drop me a line. I'm looking for a distraction today. ;)


See my birthday card for theMan. Damn, I'm a cool wife. ;)

OH! Almost forgot....go buy the new Cradle of Filth shirt (#698) at The Alley on Clark Street!!! Even if you don't like COF, do it to have your very own piece of Matt Lombard. Yep, you guessed it...that's his bad ass artwork! Get some to cover your boobies today!

After 4 hours of hard labor...our little boy has arrived.

We like to call him Mazda 3 or Bad Ass for short.


Okay, so I'm not working.

Cumwhore Diary: Sex blog....good read.
Mondo Macabro DVD: Get em' here folks.
Rotten Cotton.com: I need more credit cards damn it!

No more entries. It's starting to be embarrassing.

Well, I lied. There are a few links I thought I'd share with you today.

Apple has introduced upgraded products FINALLY. Check Apple.com for the new iBooks and PowerBooks. Not new I guess so much, but faster. I love my old G3 PowerBook and I'm a laptop girl at heart, so this is good news for me because Mistress needs an upgrade. Plus the PowerBooks all come standard with Airport Extreme and if you've used a wireless internet connection before, you know this is freaking handy! We recently installed wireless internet in our apartment and I'm in love. Ever surfed the internet while taking a dump? Alright then.

Secondly, thanks to E. I'm wasting precious work time giggling at this site. Bald Stars.com is a site that has photoshopped stars so they are bald. I'm not sure if this is a sexual fetish or just someone who was bored. Either way, it's a weird way to get a giggle.

For some reason my body is forgetting it's sleep deprived so I better get back to work.

God. I'm tired. A couple people have asked how my weekend went so I thought I'd just post it here.

Friday: Car shopped, bought bikes, worked on some projects and hung out with friends till about 3:30 a.m. Got to finish the night listening to a great thunderstorm and watching "Last Man on Earth". Can't be beat.

Saturday: Rode our new bikes from Foster beach to Navy Pier. Hung out there for awhile and rode back. It was a beautiful day but we got REALLY sunburnt. My arms are still so sore I can barely wear sleeves. Came home and took a nap so we could meet up with pals and watch Kill Bill Vol. 2!!!! It was awesome...Quentin T. is the man baby, yea!! Got some late night breakfast at Nookie's and crashed.

Sunday: Took a walk with theMan, did a little more car shopping, met up for tennis, batting cages and putt-putt with "Catfish", then did some shopping and eating with other pals. Finished the night by checking out Rasputina at the House of Blues. Finally got to bed at 3:30 a.m. so I'm freaking exhausted today.

There's my little synopsis for the ladies who were inquiring. I will be back to my link posting, perverted self tomorrow after I get some shut eye.



I love this freaking hat.

I'd say theMan had a great birthday. I know I enjoyed it immensely! If you have a Todai Sushi Buffet near your house, then what the hell are you waiting on?? My god that was incredible. I think I had 5 courses and am stuffed for the week. Those Alfrey boys know what's up with their japanese food. Also, went and watched Dawn of the Dead again with friends. There aren't too many movies I'd pay $9 twice to see, but that is definitely one of them. Tonight hopefully we will be seeing Kill Bill Vol. 2!

Anyways, gotta go wash the dye out of my hair.
I wish Revlon would sell "Marilyn Monroe/Jayne Mansfield Platinum Blonde" in a bottle because all I ever get is gold. And bleaching, well...that sucks.

Anyways...just rambling. I'm home from work today for a mini-vacation. No real plans set in stone for this weekend and that's cool. I like a challenge.

Oh..almost forgot. Friday 5 time but I picked an old one from their site:
1. Name five things in your refrigerator. Beer, steaks, Louisana hot sauce, leftover chili from a month ago and two huge jugs of OJ.

2. Name five things in your freezer. Ice, severed heads, frozen pizza, fake-chix nuggets, meat...lots of it.

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink. "The Works" for my stupid clogged drain, candles, extra bags, cleaning supplies, a midget.

4. Name five things around your computer. Water from Niagra Falls my sister got me, Wacom pad, sewing machine, ripped skirt from last weekend's party, and my digital camera.

5. Name five things in your medicine cabinet. Hm....nothing really exciting. Lotion, lube, toothbrush, hair bands (not Great White/Poison but the elastic variety) and floss.

See ya cuties!


Sorry for the lack of updates this week. Craziness here in Mistress's world....but I digress.

Today's post is because I wanted to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to theMan! He made it to 26 and thankfully I've been along for the ride with him for 7 of those years.

LOVE YOU baby.


"This Karma Sutra book is such bullshit."

Good evening Bloggies....If you've been reading my blog for the past month, you can probably see a fascination with sex blogs. Well, I happen to have a group of girlfriends that I share all things sexual with (advice, you pervs, not saliva) so I thought I'd add a little useful info to this here blog and include some of the advice I've received or shared. Why not, word of mouth is the best form of communication, right? Plus, if there is one topic I love to talk about, it's sex.

One of the ladies is going to be writing some toy reviews for me (hopefully the others will join too) but I thought I'd start things out with a review of this little beauty I found recently.

Based on a recommendation from S., I tried the butterfly. When I saw the box I was a little worried at first because I'm a bigger gal and as most ladies know, anything you gotta put your legs into needs to fit comfortably and may not be "one size fits all." But my worries were instantly banished the minute I saw the bra-strap like straps with easy adjustable hooks. It fit like a glove and was pretty comfortable. It's looks like kinky underwear and the straps sorta frame your butt in a way. So if you are proud of your rear, it's a nice effect. Plus, like the box suggests, this thing looks great with a pair of stilettos.

This is essentially a vibrating silver bullet wraped in molded spongy plastic to fit the curves of your labia. The controls of the thing are easy enough. It's just a dial that you turn one way or another and can be operated with one hand, simply use your thumb. This keeps the other hand free to roam around. Another option, either set the speed and set the remote down or let your partner take control of the speed for you. Nothing like a little teasing! The only downfall is that you probably shouldn't expect this to be totally hands-free. You may need some manual help to keep it in the place you want it. Thankfully that extra hand can be used to hold it in place or move it how you need it.

The speed is decent too. It goes from slow to fast fairly smooth. Once you have it on, it can feel like you are suited up in a way, what with the remote control wire and the straps around your legs and waist. That aspect didn't bother me but it might for some of you who prefer sex wireless.

The size of the toy can be a problem. The size was a bad factor for S. with her original recommendation. It's a big butterfly so expect to move it so there is room for your partners cock (or dildo, whichever your persuasion). The good thing about the size is that your lover can feel it vibrating too which can make their experience fun as well.

For use by yourself, it can be used alone or coupled with a dildo or vibrator for your other orifices which makes for a nice experience. Although you might not have enough free hands. The position I suggest using when used with a partner: doggy style. It feels like all bases are covered, if you get my drift.

Basic overall rating: 8 out of 10. Pros: Once strapped on it stays in place pretty well. Nice smooth speed control and adjustable straps are a big plus. Cons: Size of butterfly can be inhibiting. Don't expect it to be totally hands free as box suggests. Wires and straps can be off-putting if you aren't feeling a little confident. $19.95 was the price for a good time....I'd say get one for your ladyfriend.

Next Review: Remote controlled vibrating underwear.



That's the word that sums up my weekend. Yummy friends, yummy sleep, and yummy party. On Friday the Squarepusher show ended up paling in comparison to the trip it took to get there. After some kick ass burritos, we headed back to the Wood Shack (i.e. our apartment) for some Louisville Slugger and watching MXC. We called for a cab and after about 30 minutes of phone calls and swear words the cab to beat all cabs pulls up to our door.

We pile in and the driver is too bizarre for words. Long black dreds, Bob Marley hat, rubber snakes all coiled on the dashboard. He then hits the radio and "Red, Red Wine...." comes on. Damn. The show was pretty good. It was entirely too packed so we couldn't really get a good look at the stage but not too shabby. There was a human beat box that was insane. Squarepusher ended up finally showing up on stage at 3:00 a.m. after some shitty jungle DJs. Good stuff all around.

Saturday, my god. Started the day by sleeping in until 1 p.m., then going to the hobby shop so theMan could fix his truck. A gas powered truck running about 30 mph straight into a concrete curb does not make for good times. Also found out a pal of mine is pregnant after months of trying! Congrats Jen!

Later that night we hit up a party...and my goodness. There were more people per square inch in that apartment than should have been allowed. Great time though, even did a little dancing to some shitty hip hop. Yes, the Mistress ended her sober streak but the word for the night was "maintain" and that's what I did. This is how dedicated I am to the party: I ripped my skirt jumping a wall to go hang out with Moss. Whoo hooo! One of the highlights of the night was walking home when the sun came up, seeing the sunrise and sharing that with a friend. Yea, I suppose I'm feeling a little sentimental.

Definitely hung over today but there's a flow of sheer happiness under that. Nothing like a good weekend to brighten up my mood.


Well well well....this day is dragging ass. I have tomorrow off and a lot of plans lined up so OF COURSE today just keeps ticking by.

No links for you today. So sorry. Although the day is dragging, I'm swamped at work so I haven't been using my time to surf.

My plans? Well, it looks like tonight there is possible shopping on the horizon. Tomorrow, breakfast out with a pal at my favorite spot and then a late night show which may possibly end the Mistress's sober streak. Saturday, sleep and a party later that night. I'm stoked about the party because I haven't been able to really hang out with a couple of my friends that are going since they are all wrapped up in school. Whoo whoo! But Saturday, the word "school" will not be uttered. The words "fuck yea," "come on, just do one shot!" and "Mistress, you should really put your skirt back down over your big ass" will more than likely be uttered on numerous occasions however.

Sunday, possibly going to Sidetracks for "Bear Tracks" night with my hip co-worker. Whew....I better start the pep talk with my liver now.

Oh, it's also technically theMan's birthday weekend too. He'll be 26 and he's sorta freaking out about it. I told him it's not like he's 30, that's in 4 more years. The blood drained from his face so I assume that didn't help.


So I know I'm not the first person to find these sex blogs, but I had to share them regardless. Word of mouth is the greatest tool sometimes. (Most of these are probably not safe for work.)

Rentboy diaries: This one I am particularly fond of. Boys, take notes.
Our Bedroom: Blogs from a couple, read hers too.
Pursed Lips: Not updated enough, but good.
Secret Life: US prostitute blog.
Eros Blog: Funny sex related stuff.
Belle De Jour: UK call girl's blog, she's becoming quite famous.

Now, I love my porn movies, but I gotta say...sometimes the written word works even more.

Bonus today: No work on Friday because of Good Friday! Not so good for Jesus, however.


My mom, her boyfriend and kids came up to visit us tonight. I even got to see my little cutie pie.

You can see why I love this little monkey.

The Mistress is sick folks. Grabbed myself a cold and I'm ditching work. Screw it.

Fixed images so they are bigger when you click on them. Html is fun.

I have some very crazy, yet determined friends. (Click for bigger image)

or: How to get an 8 foot couch in a small doorway.


Hmm...it's Sunday. I didn't get anything accomplished project-wise that I wanted to other than watching Hellboy. Which by the way, is a pretty good movie. Definitely toned down to get that PG-13 rating but good nonetheless. Ron Perlman as Hellboy was casting perfection. I can't belive they almost had that doucebag "The Rock" do that part. Ugh. Also learned that to see a movie without a theater full of morons, go to the 12:40 showing.

Tonight I think we're going to watch some scary movies and chill out. Finally got the house cleaned today after entirely too long of it being gross. Not drinking is certainly helping my housewife duties.


I almost forgot. I suppose it's easy to get on the bandwagon when something is happening to you personally, but that's life. So I'm currently looking into the cost of prescription drugs vs. how much they really cost to make.

My sick grandfather has been prescribed a 30-day supply of pills that cost $200.00. Think that's a little ridiculous? Me too. I love that we are now protecting fetuses from murder but letting people who are already alive die without necessary affordable medications.

Fucking USA.

Well hey there. Funny how life picks up all at once. This week has been so productive and this weekend is looking good too.

We're going to a hobby shop in the suburbs on Saturday so theMan can buy some gas for his truck. I promised him I'd make him a short film so he can fit in with the other truck-junkies. Then we're going to see Hellboy!!! Yay! Sunday it's shopping, shopping, shopping. I've got to get started on my Halloween costume, it is 7 months away for crying out loud.

If you missed it yesterday, I pity you. MXC was on for 14 hours on Spike TV yesterday and my god it was brilliant. Of course I couldn't sit through 14 hours, but the 2 hours I caught caused a layer of my ass to fall off from laughing so hard. Followed up by the new South Park, General Tso and some Halo.....well, you can't beat a night like that with a stick.

Oh, and here's my Friday Five.

1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life? Gosh...probably well over 20. theMan and I have lived in at least 6 (we move every year) and when I was living with my parents I moved almost every 2-3 years. That explains a lot actually.

2. Which was your favorite and why? My favorite with theMan was this big 2 bedroom house in my hometown. The hometown part of it sucked, but the house was so awesome. Central Air, full basement, 2 car garage, huge rooms....aw. It is easy to appreciate once you move into a 800 sq. ft. apartment.

My favorite from my childhood? That's a tough one. Probably when I lived with my drunk stepdad. To apologize for breaking my mom's arm he made me a room with everything in the walls. My nintendo & TV, my bed, everything. It was really neat. I distinctly remember waking up and being able to look out the window by my feet because the bed was probably 5 feet off the ground. But I've got fond memories of a lot of my houses so it's hard to pick.

3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why? I find the finding a house part nerve-racking but the moving really fun. Probably why I do it yearly. I like to decorate and re-organize my things. There's something to be said for changing things to change up the energy in a place.

4. What's more important, location or price? In Chicago, location. You can find a cheap house but if it's in the ghetto, no dice.

5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)? Let's see...a HUGE bathroom, stainless steel everything kitchen and a room that is so full of windows and sunlight it doesn't need electricity. I also want a barn and I don't want to see any neighbors. I enjoy being naked at home so if I could be in my yard naked or working out in the shop/barn naked, that would be ideal.

There ya go. Have a good weekend.