There’s something about hearing a live band cover “Mustang Sally” that makes me feel like it’s officially summer and I’m officially drunk.

Going to a cabin this weekend with co-workers. There will be a live band. Awesome.


All Party, All the Time

We are avid iTunes Radio listeners. Tonight though, I found a GOLDMINE. Under POP, then "All Party Tunes - Party 181" is your station of choice. Trust me. It's "perfect party music" and if "Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt n Peppa or "Double Dutch Bus" are yo' thang...CLICK ON IT.

Ladies, all the ladies, louder now, help me out, come on ALL THE LADIES!

At 128 kbps I've been rocking out to Prince, Justin Timberlake, disco...I could go on. In fact, I watched Soul Train today with Coen and family and for some reason, since then I've felt like dancing really awkwardly down the middle of 2 lines of other awkwardly dressed, but beautiful people. Which leads me to....

I've been thinking. We didn't have a 10 year high school reunion and for some reason this has pissed me off. I think mostly because I Just wanted the opportunity like every other person on in the Midwest (at least) to get drunk (legally this time) and see how everyone has aged that I used to be so afraid of. I'm crossing my fingers for a 15 year, and I hope everything listed here happens to me.


Pie Destroyer Takes Chicago

Instead of smoke breaks at work, I take “internet breaks.” At least that is my reasoning should I ever get in trouble if they browse my computer history.

Some gems:

1.) This year’s Halloween Costume courtesy of Fark.com: Gargantua the pie destroyer

2.) Photos of actual sex phone operators here.

With my favorite quote from one of them:

“I’m 60 years old, have a B.A. in Cultural Anthropology from Columbia University, and married for 25 years. I have a son in his last years of college who lives at home. He’s a 4.0 with a double major in English Literature and Religion. Men call me for an infinity of reasons. Of course, they call to masturbate. I call it “Executive Stress Relief.” It’s not sex; it’s a cocktail of testosterone, fueled by addiction to pornography, loneliness, and the need to hear a woman’s voice. I make twice the money I made in the corporate world. I work from home, the money transfers into my bank account daily. I’m Scheherezade: If I don’t tell stories that fascinate the Pasha, he will kill me in the morning.”

ANYHOO. I just finished (well 3 days ago…) one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time. A weekend that makes living in Chicago worth every penny of inflated rent and grocery prices, every $5.00 gallon of gas, every 45 minute commute to go 2 miles.

Thursday our friend Jason and his lovely girlfriend (I almost put “assistant”...weird. I think it’s because 1.) apparently I think subconsciously he’s a magician and 2.) she would probably dig the title, but I digress...) took us to the Air Guitar Championship Regionals something or other at the Metro. The best part though? Chris got us press passes so we had FULL access to everything. Backstage, green room, balcony with seating. I’m a sucker for backstage anything. I love seeing how things work like that! But the real enjoyment went to theMan who got to photograph EVERYTHING. He even sat on stage and got shots while they performed. He was like a pig in shit!

I am now indebted forever to Chris so I have to make her pancakes whenever she wants. Even if it’s 3:00 a.m.

Friday my company had a summer outing out in the burbs for everyone’s family. I got dressed up in my best full-figured Gwen Stefani and made my way out with some girlfriends for cocktails, baby stealing (I kept taking people’s babies...I couldn’t help it), and bouncy castle jumping. It was so nice out there. I hope they have it there again. I even paddle-boated and not once did I spill my cocktail. This was even in a dress and heels! My god, that “how to be a classy lady” training is paying off.

Until later...when my pal A. has me go to a pub for 4 hours of drinking fine beers and eating gourmet porkbelly and onion & goat cheese tarts until so drunk that I think listening to a cover band and doing Jager shots is an excellent idea (actually, it was). Ended up doing karaoke (finally singing Dolly Parton live!) and eating fried pork at a salsa club at 2:00 a.m.
Aw, Chicago.

Saturday, well...I was hungover and I’m a large supporter of being totally lazy when hungover. So I ate cheese for breakfast, cleaned the house a little, had supper with theMan on a patio at a restaurant (I had greasy eggs and toast) and then came home and went to bed at 7:00 p.m.

Sunday, graveyards (4!), shopping, and a bottle of wine with friends.

Really, truly, Chicago…you are my home.


My Life: 21-41

21 to 41....

21. Do two pull ups
22. Have my photos in a gallery exhibit
23. Make pie from scratch, even crust
24. Travel around Italy
25. Take salsa lessons
26. Make my own perfume
27. Take entire family camping
28. Participate in tomato fight in Spain
29. Make a peaceful living space for our family
30. Institute chocolate and champagne Tuesdays
31. Wear a large hat at the Kentucky Derby and drink a mint julip
32. Have dinner parties monthly
33. Perfect 5 dishes, each course, by memory
34. Get in the habit of grand loving gestures
35. Live in a house with a window seat
36. Have a portrait done of myself entirely in velvet
37. Swim in every ocean
38. See the cherry blossom trees in Asia
39. Organize a gathering for strangers I’d like to meet
40. Rewire a lamp
41. Pay for my mother and I to go on a trip overseas


My Life: Things To Do Before I Go

Mighty Girl did it, and like most everything she does, it was pretty inspiring. So I had to as well. Plus, lately and eerily, I'm finding that by stating what I want out loud, it happens. So here it goes Ether...let's get to it.

1-20 of my list:
1. Scuba dive
2. Ride a camel in the desert
3. See the Pyramids
4. Stand at the bathhouse ruins at the Sutro Baths, in Point Lobos,CA at sunrise
5. Learn to Tango in Argentina
6. Cross the Canadian border
7. Have a croissant at a French cafe
8. Take a road trip across the U.S.
9. Beers at a pub in Ireland
10. Have a business with my name on the door/lease
11. Go on a multi-day motorcycle trip
12. Open a used bookstore
13. Grow a vegetable
14. Publish a piece of fiction/non-fiction
15. Know basic French
16. Speak and read Spanish fluently again
17. Set foot on all seven continents
18. Set foot in all fifty states
19. Help someone adopt a child
20. Stand atop the Great Wall of China

More to come...

Edison would approve

My sister just called and said the best sentence ever uttered:

“I wish your face didn’t appear on my phone every time my gynecologist called.”

We messed with her phone so all incoming calls had my picture, but that was an unintended side effect of awesome.


Hard Habit to Break

Sometimes I come across a video that makes me feel weird in my pants.

And sometimes the comments bring me right back to reality:

"Dang, this reminds me when I lost my virginity in teh back of a Chevy Chevette. Do I ever miss you Veronica."


3 Things

Things that make me happy today:

1. Instant oatmeal. Especially when you go through 3 outfit changes because it's humid as gym nut sacks and your specialty is "layering". So not a helpful clothing style in this weather.

2. Shorts, perfect for my age and thigh circumference on sale for $9.80. Target, I love thee.

3. Near maternity style summer dresses are all the rage. Because people, I'm all about the gut right now. The gut hanging over everything. Gross. Best to keep it under wraps and still stay cool. All for $12.00!

Thing that I am very sorry today:

1. Missing two of my dear friends birthdays this weekend because I can't get to them.

2. Waiting a year to get my thyroid checked! WTF! In 2007 I was all UP ON IT. Called them today just to make an appointment and got a lecture. I'm hoping it's off so I can fix it and get this weight under control. Like Janet Jackson CONTROL. Seriously. However, I have a feeling it's just because I've ate like a pig. Chicago, your restaurants taunt me!

Thing that make me wish I was rich today:

The new shoe store about to overtake the space where this uppity overpriced kids clothing store was who also employed bitches. Yay for shoes! Boo to $25.00 onesies!