Changed

I was reading a book review online and came upon this quote:

"For ten years in publishing I read, on average, four novels a week. Now the thought of reading fiction no longer appeals to me. It's more than that I'm too tired or that there's a war unfolding in Iraq. What keeps me from opening any of the new novels that friends from work send over is a feeling that fiction is hubris. With all of the real pain going on in the world, it strikes me as gratuitous, objectionable even, that writers feel a need to create tragedies. So many already exist."

Now books don't turn me off like this, but I'll admit something that does lately...movies with excessive violence or sadness. I get no amount of grief for this when renting movies with the sister or husband, they tend to like things sadistic. While I appreciate their iron stomachs and brain bleach ability, I can't take it anymore.

I can barely work up the guts to rewatch films where I know what freaking happens in them.

This doesn't change my love of horror movie artwork and set design, I just don't want to watch it if I wasn't there making the thing in the first place. I just keep thinking when I'm browsing Netflix or the movie rental place that there is enough shit going on now, why would I want one of my escapes to make me feel sad? Simple? Probably. Lame? Well, that's like your opinion man.

I like a good cry and I like a good action film, and I'm all about a decent coming of age story. I just can't hack the "Hostel" or the "High Tension" or even the "Devil's Rejects." Even though if Rob Zombie needed me to carry his child for him, I would gladly give out all of my eggs like a dam Ovary ATM.

My problem is I keep thinking about what I saw, over and over. I can barely watch the news now. I gave up watching any films with rape scenes in them a long time ago. (Never even seen the ass rape scene in Pulp Fiction.) Either I'm going insane or well, I'm not sure. This makes me incredibly lame with my hardcore film loving buds. It also makes me feel like I'm puporsely living in oblivion on current events. I just can't take it.

So there's my secret for the week. Can we still hang out?

6 months

Up close
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

I've also added updated pics (finally) of Sis's belly. It got bigger in the last week and she is now strictly in maternity clothes and hotter than hell in this weather.

She's started sitting down in a squatting position and her new hubby has to rub her legs and feet since she's in pain a lot. Seeing her today really made it stand out that, yep, she's all knocked up.

She's gorgeous pregnant, ain't she?

Here they come

Here they come
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

We had the pleasure of attending our pal Heather and Nick's wedding this weekend. It was one of the hottest weekends of the year, but at least it didn't rain and the ceremony was gorgeous!! She should get a medal for wearing all that taffeta and tulle in 105 degree heat.

We had a GWO summit during the festivities and I might add, increased the hot chicks ratio substantially with all our woman-ness.

The reception was a cash bar so the T's hooked us up with airplane bottles we could stash in our purses and pockets. This lead to us crashing their neighbor's pool at midnight and swimming in borrowed suits to cool off. Midnight swimming, I'd recommend it to anyone who is mildly drunk and living in humidity hell.

I've added pics in Flickr. Just click around, you'll find em'.

Couples Skate

It was only 3 years ago today that the GWO/Wife Liberation Front held their first summit. A meeting of minds to bring together a love of shopping and gossip only to strengthen into a bond of sisterhood that has rooted itself in the core of my being.

I love you girls. I wouldn't function without you.

Congratulations to Heather

This past weekend we went to one of the original GWO members’ Bachelorette party. It was serious fun (if you didn’t see the pictures of the stripper in Flickr, I’d suggest making some quiet time for yourself and check it out) but most of all it was sweet to see Heather so happy. Her fiancé is just her type: funny, gets her totally and shares her love of margaritaville. It was very cute to see her all excited and in love and ready for the last week of single-womanness.

Most of all though, it was refreshing to see someone at the point where they are so giddy inside about their relationship that it’s overwhelming. It’s just the beginning of their marriage and they are adorable about it. It made me a wee nostalgic for that time in my life where I rushed home to see my man because I couldn’t take another second of not knowing what he was thinking, doing or wearing.

Not that 10 years of togetherness has made us cold and uncaring, but there is something about those first few years, isn’t there?

Being around them together for only an hour made me feel like they were absolutely doing the right thing for each other. I’m so glad she has found someone to make her happy.

I suppose I’m feeling a little sappy for a Tuesday. I just keep thinking that with all the weddings and babies this year, it’s a good year to reflect a bit. Enjoy people’s happiness.

I also need to get laid, but that’s beside the point.

Another thing that happened at the party was seeing a group of women, probably in their 50’s, being loud and outrageous and cheering each other on. I kept stealing glances at my girls and thinking, “Damn I want to do this with these girls when we are in our 50’s.” Hell, I want to do this when we are in our 90’s.

Life is pretty fucking short, isn’t it?

Lessons learned

Things I’ve learned living in HomeTownVille:

-Either I have taken up sleepwalking out into the yard and rolling around in the grass, or the mosquitos here are so bold that they will invite themselves in and feast on your skin buffet in the privacy of your own home. I wake up with new itchies every...single...day.

-You can talk to an acquaintance in the middle of the street and no one will honk, they will just drive around you. That is, if there is much traffic anyways.

-People wave, regardless if they know you are not.

-People help each other, even strangers. I’ve had our yard tilled, our water turned on, our sink fixed, our boxes and furniture moved in, our pantry stocked by people without anyone asking for anything in return. And not all of these people are relatives!

-Things like knowing someone at the Water Dept. here can get things done in 4 hours versus 3 days. Everyone knows someone somewhere that can help you too.

-Turns out I am allergic to poison ivy.

-When it’s foggy and stormy out, like last week, I feel like I’m living in Silent Hill.

-Did I mention that only in the Midwest am I allergic to poison ivy? So much that I have it on my face…sigh.

Overall though, a decent experiment so far!

Bachelorettes

The original GWO
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

I had my girls come in for a weekend full of booze, boys and blueberries. Saturday morning we met the T's for the farmers market where we again filled our trunk, or mostly, and followed them out to a blueberry farm. Since we go through about 2 pints a week, picking our own for $1.50 a pound makes waaaay more sense than buying them in the store. Turns out Gracie loves them too.

Once she figured out they were edible, we could no longer exploit her for manual labor. Instead she went from tree to tree, even other people's buckets filling her tiny fist with berries and stuffing them in her mouth. Jen gave the people an extra $0.50 for the 1/2 pound we were sure Gracie consumed while we were there.

Later we went to Heather's bachelorette party since she is due to get hitched next Saturday. We first stopped by her house which was gorgeous. I didn't take pictures, but she built it herself (at least the inside). Pretty amazing.

Then we went to the fire hall for the booze and boys portion of our weekend. The party was scary at first since no one would really talk to us, but we just drank and mingled and took over the stereo until people warmed up to us. Later I got my first taste of a male stripper. Yes, I've put pictures of that too in Flickr, but we were good girls. It just didn't feel right not giving the man ANY money, since he did drive all that way from the big city and all. I mean, he had to shave his entire body! I expect diamonds for remembering to shave my arm pits.

Giving him $4 and making him dance just seemed like the right thing to do. I'm sure Miss Manners would agree. ;)

Anyways, today I've made some meals, dug up my yard with Mrs. T and taken a nap. Now I've convinced theMan to go swimming and do our laundry so we can finish off an awesome weekend mellow and cooled temperature-wise.

Be sure to check out the pictures to the right. I'm pretty sure some of them can be blackmail.

Waiting for the hint of a spark

Matthew
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

One year ago tomorrow we lost a Cheshire cat smile and a heart as big as the sun.

Miss you Matt.

The time for sleep is now,
It's nothing to cry about,
Cause we'll hold each other soon.

Farmers

46-23
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

I've uploaded a shit load of pictures to my Flickr site because quite frankly, I haven't had a chance to form any sentences.

Click and go west young man.

Room 201-A

It's been raining up a storm here this week. Damn near filled up the holler. (Hear that? That was my 12th grade Academic English teacher cringing.) So in all this muck and mire, I've taken refuge at my grandmother's house for cards. Not just any cards either. No, the time honored tradition of 4 hour marathon torture hands of Shanghai that my family likes to inflict on those willing to sacrifice their attention span. Last night we went from 6:30 until 11:00 p.m., almost non-stop.

S-words were handed down from sweet little grandmothers, mothers and daughters no longer joined in alliance, and animosity filled the room. We also laughed our asses off and some of us probably peed a little.

We came in and got the niceties out of the way and got down to the business at hand. (Get it, hand? I'm full of puns tonight!) So much fun was had that it's inspired me to put together a little Cousin Card Clambake* for all of us once a month. Expect invitations shortly.

Tonight though, in the middle of baking 3 loaves of banana-blueberry-pumpkin bread to get rid of the browning bananas my grandma gave me (being poor makes me revert back to my great-grandmother's Depression-era ways. I currently stand outside the shower and ration off shampoo to theMan as well.) I went to the hospital to visit my grandfather who is back in, now twice this month, to get help with his breathing. I have a post brewing about this that I don't want to do here yet. I just want you to send some vibes his way. Good loving internet vibes that you guys are good at. He's one of my role models and I don't like him suffering.

That being said, we're enjoying our time here in HomeTownVille. It takes 5 minutes to get anywhere, have I mentioned that? Not that there are a ton of places to go, but if we wanted to...5 minutes! I was even pleasantly surprised to find they don't charge you for library cards!

So, just plugging along. I have an idea for a business too I want to share with you but alas, our bed draws me near. So good night lovelies and keep those grandfather healthy vibes coming.

*(clam·bake (klmbk) n. A party or gathering, especially a noisy and lively one.)

Officially official

I went to the Big Lots tonight to try to find detergent for less than $10.00 and I left with trashbags and laundry soap for only $4.66 total! I could only be more impressed if there was some form of 23 in the price.

Yep, we're officially poor or white trash, you decide. But Big Lots man, that's my new store!

Yard tales

Yard
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

I forgot to mention that after a day of painting I pulled into our driveway to see that bush mocking me. I said to myself, "Today is the last day those weeds will feast on our yard!!"

So I hauled my big ass out there and dug up the rest of the rock and the rest of the roots. You can see the transformation here.

I've also submitted this photo to Big Game Hunters for Vegetarians.

Reunion

This is how we do it
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

Apparently since life is slow here now that we've moved, that is how my blog will be....slow to be updated. My apologies, really. You see when we decided to move to a quiet little town and slow down our life's pace, we didn't realize that every single night would be action packed with visiting, food, more visiting, food and more visiting. I love it.

Complete set here.

This Sunday was our family reunion. A reunion I used to go to when I was little with my great-grandparents. They'd pack extra silverware and plates for me and we'd go play all day with cousins we saw once a year. I haven't been since I was in high school I'd bet.

This time it was in a gorgeous part of Indiana. Even several Amish buggies drove by and waved. We celebrated with my Uncle Bud's brisket, german chocolate cake and exploding Diet Coke & Mentos.

Saturday I went to the farmer's market and filled my trunk for $40. So far I've used it everyday since then as well for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Hopefully it lasts through the week. One of my projects will be freezing since the markets will stop in the winter. I love this farm girl stuff.

I also helped the T's paint their kitchen while rocking out to Metallica all day. It was quite a task but the outcome looks great. Sadly I have no pictures but maybe Mrs. T will upload some on her blog someday.

I'm also glad to report that in my lifetime I'm am still at my running total of 0 dogs killed, since Godiva ate a peach pit out of my hand on Saturday and we later found out it was poisonous. Thankfully she shit it out. Whew, dog deaths 0, Kitten 1.

I'm also fucking ecstatic to report that theMan has found a job. Thank sweet Jebus. I felt like the earth was going to open up and swallow me whole with this panic that was setting in. Now, though we're still going to be broke for awhile, we'll at least be able to pay the bills. Plus, it kinda turns me on that he's a delivery guy. I'm hoping there is a uniform.

So yea, one day at a time, but what a beautiful setting to be living that way.

Get high today

When I get like this, I have to remind myself that although I can't sleep and we're broke:

-I got to help my grandparents clean their house last night
-I get to drive 30 min. to help my cousin/BFF paint and go to the farmer's market tomorrow
-I get to get off work at 4:00 today because by god, that is ONE perk of the job
-My sister called last night during her commute while I was at home at 5:03 making a salad with my dog
-I have a husband and dog sleeping 5 feet away from me
-I can drink 3 cups of coffee this morning because hey, it's 5:23 a.m.!

I will be okay methinks, just need those reminders.

Decisions

It's 5:23 a.m. (go figure, right?) and I've been tossing and turning since 2:00 a.m. It's been like this all week in fact. I keep thinking that I made the wrong decision, that it's not going to work out and that I got suckered. The job I took from the 2 available turns out to be not as great as promised. I'm not over the department I thought because I took over for someone who was quitting so I am doing their job with no end in sight. The pay sucks, but I knew that going into it. The insurance is awful and doesn't start for 3 months, which I also knew going into it but the short term policy they said would cover my prescriptions for my thyroid problem doesn't. In fact, his response was "Oh, they don't cover that." Even though I asked him at least 3 times to check while I was making my decision.

So now I have 2 bumps under my skin on the back of my neck that have popped up and pregnancy is no where in the future because we can't afford it. The whole reason to move down here in the first fucking place.

The money I was promised up front? I got $200 of it so far and that was after I asked twice. The job that they promised theMan, well he doesn't have anything for him to do right now so he's scrambling around now too.

We have about $20 to our name until my next paycheck, and I'm scared to think if it will even cover our car payment. Let alone if our cell phone will be turned off this week.

Had the second job been offered at the the pay I wanted, I still would have been broke so I'm trying not to dwell on that too much. We wouldn't have had a place to live. I know I did what I had to do for our family at the time, but I'm very stressed out right now. I feel like I've taken a backwards step in my career and the babies will have to be put on hold which was the fucking point of all this.

God damn it.

So my options are: 1.) look for another job that I can tolerate and hope my boss doesn't kick me out of this house we're renting off him. 2.) Pray that theMan finds a job with great pay and benefits so I can just quit after the baby comes and then I'll just stay home (which sounds more and more appealing everyday) or 3.) stick it out until I get licensed in the fall (I hope they are still going to make good on that promise) and relocate again to wherever a new job would be.

To add to that we found a really cute house to buy which is almost the same amount of rent we are paying now. It's just in a shitty location and the rooms are small. However, I keep thinking it's the right thing to do (if we could even get a loan) so we can at least have some resemblance of a normal life, that and not be paying a mortgage when we are 70.

Chicago had run its course. Don't get me wrong. It's not the town I'm freaking out about because that has been the one saving grace. I've seen a lot of my family and friends over the past 2 weeks. So much that we haven't even hardly been home.

I'm just scared and I feel very alone at 5:00 a.m. with our worries.

He got the hose

He got the hose
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

Just returned from a glorious night at the Moondance Ranch with some of our beloved. We planted squash, pumpkin, tilled some rows to plant and pulled weeds. All of our work paid for in fresh eggs and chili and vegan cornbread and the finest White Russian I've had. With friends like these...well.

Kaboom went with us too and did wonderfully. He got caught in the electric fence twice but I think that's a lesson he's officially learned now. The first time was an accident and the second he backed into it when he was barking at the roosters. Touche roosters, touche. He did great around the kiddies though, even letting Nigel chase him around the house. Plus we learned he might have some herder breed in him. The chickens were in the garden and Kaboom went to work rounding them back up to the barn.

You can see all the pics by clicking in my Flickr. We're going to bed. :)

Wild abandonment

wild abandonment
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

Last night was a celebration complete with food and fireworks partly to celebrate the holiday and partly to remember my cousin who passed away this time last year. All in all, it was a great tribute. Swimming, pryotechnics and pure redneck good times.

View the complete set here.

More and more assurance that we made the right choice.

Dirt hole

Yard project during
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

I imagine if I had a complete mental evaluation, I would get extra points for being diligent when I get an idea in my head. Even if it causes me back pain and sunburns. This bush got called "cocksucker" more times than I care to admit yesterday in the hot afternoon sun. But it's coming out, slowly but surely. It just doesn't know it yet.

We spent the morning taking our grandparents to Trader Jose's and Wild Oats to see if we really could live in this town and eat the same as we did in Chicago. Turns out, we can! For cheaper!

Later we went to my father's side of the family for pizza and visiting with my uncle's that was in from out of town. It was another reminder of exactly why we moved back.

The firework show at the park was last night so we loaded up on wine and margaritas with some buds. Tonight is the firework spectacular at mom's house. I'm told there will be over $300 worth of fireworks and that my grandfather is building a platform to lit them from. Yep, that's how we roll.

Even though we've been here a week we sure haven't been bored. Even today we are getting ready to go to brunch this morning with friends we haven't seen in over 6 years.

Love this.