Gone Daddy Gone

We're off tomorrow bright and early for the woods. My friend traded us painting their nursery for use of their summer pad this weekend and we can't wait. There are 2 pools, hiking and I hear there might be a pancake breakfast and demolition derby.

My white trash roots are going to be in full effect. In fact, I'm making theMan call me "Lurleen" all weekend.

Actually the place itself isn't trashy, I just can't hear the words "demolition derby" without fond memories of my childhood. Hell, I can't hear the words "pancake breakfast" without conjuring up images of large old people stacking em' high and grumbling about these kids today.

Also, there is a gentlemen that has a residence there that sits on his porch all day drinknig vodka and demands you play him in a game of bean bags. Score!

So we'll see you hosers on Monday. Enjoy yourself this weekend!

Last night, she said

By my drunken estimates I'd say we consumed 4-6 bottles of wine, fried chicken, sausage and peppers in marinara sauce, homemade cheese tortellini, garlic bread, salad with grilled asparagus, brie and peppers with peanuts and holy moses. We stayed out on Andrea and Chris' patio drinking and eating until 1:00 a.m. by candlelight with the doggies running around like maniacs.

I was completely obliterated and fully gracious for their awesomeness. Theses are the kind of co-workers you want to have. That let you be loud, obnoxious and like your jokes. That's never bad.

Oh and dessert was coconut cake and chocolate carmel cookies. I blew my diet.

Suck my balls

I'd like everyone to take another moment of silence for my fallen compadre, Comp USA Retail Services Visa. It was shot down today in friendly fire by my debt snowball. It unfortunately crashed into a mountain side and no remains were found.

We will hold a small service in our dining room using the camera we bought with it 5 years ago that we have now paid almost triple for due to interest. There will also be a picture slideshow projected on the TV that we bought at 24.99% interest, 6 months same as cash....2 years ago.




God I love fall. It's my favorite season, absolutely. Starbucks starts selling their Pumpkin Spice Lattes, it's our anniversary, I can wear slimming jeans instead of unflattering shorts, and all the fabulous fall colors start coming out for my wardrobe.

So I'll just be a total consumer whore and tell you what I have my eye on....

Yellow trench coat from Bebe - $98.00

Grey Stella bag from Target, $14.99
(Can’t find link but I know it’s there, I can feel it)

NYC by Perlina North / South Tote – RED $39.99

Yellow flats

Purple tunic top


Freaking MySpace man

Damn. I sit down to update my blog with the plan to then log off to do some yoga and 2 hours later I end up in a MySpace loop looking at every person I graduated with, the wife of an ex-boyfriend(s) and feeling really old and weird and lame.

I think I might try to find the brain bleach. Then I'm going to bed.

One in Four

According to this article, one in four adults didn't read a book last year. I'm just going to assume that means they got all of their information and ideas from TV, the media, movies and maybe the internet.

Dear god this frightens me. Go ahead, call me a nerd or a snob but there is just something about books that strikes me as very important to our human race. You have time to read at your own pace and form opinions without ads being thrown in your face, commercial interruptions or even (in some but not all) unfiltered slanted information. It's a time for quiet meditation and maybe even introduction to new ideas! I also like the smell of old books, so there's that too.

I decided to keep track of the books I've read this year and to set a goal of 15 books a year. I was aleady going through my book cases reading all the books I have but haven't so much as opened. For this goal, I have to finish them. And it should prove interesting because my main problem is staying interested. As you will tell by my list of books I started but not finished below...

I'm going to list what I've read in my sidebar to keep track. And so you know I'm not a total snob, I'll even put dumb ones that I read just for fun. So please feel free to make fun of me for my Judy Blume habit. :)

Read so far in 2007..in descending order (current to past)
1.) Food of the Gods: The Search for the Original Tree of Knowledge A Radical History of Plants, Drugs, and Human Evolution, by Terence McKenna

2.) Skinny Legs and All, by Tom Robbins
3.) Still Life with Woodpecker, by Tom Robbins

4.) Galapagos, by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

5.) Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

6.) God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

7.) Franny and Zooey, J. D. Salinger,

8.) Steppenwolf, by Hermann Hesse

9.) Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, by Judy Blume,

10.) The Invisibles, Grant Morrison (Graphic Novel series)
Started but didn’t finish/still working on list…

1.) The Screwtape Letters, by CS Lewis (Didn’t finish, got bored)
2.) The Simple Living Guide, by Janet Luhrs (Fantastic! Reading before bed currently)

3.) The Occult, by Colin Wilson (Been getting through for the past 3 years)
4.) Knowledge of the Higher World & Its Attainment, by Rudolf Steiner
(Bit heady…so I got bored but will revisit when I’m in the mood for a serious headfuck)

5.) The Millionaire Next Door, by Thomas J. Stanley (Brilliant! Also reading before bed)

6.) Get Out of Debt Now, by Dave Ramsey (Life changing, but haven't totally finished)

7.) The Art of Dreaming, by Carlos Casteneda (Kinda boring, I’ll be honest…liked the Don Juan series much better. This seems forced.)

8.) Fables, Bill Willingham (Graphic Novel Series 1-5 only)

Not too shabby.....5 more to go!



The weight loss thing is going okay. I screwed up a couple times this week at dinner but so far so good. I feel like I’m making progress and like something has changed in me. When I did screw up I felt crappy afterwards, so that’s nice. Ha! Also, my GWO crew is doing a competition for money and/or dinner. That started yesterday, the evening I ate brownies. Sigh.

Mom and Grandma are coming in this weekend and our family are big eaters. I’ve got a plan of attack and theMan on speed dial. My doctor appointment is on Monday and last time she told me I needed to "think about losing weight" before we tried to get pregnant. I really want to be able to tell her "look bitch, I'm working on it."

If you want further help, try these:

Bake your own energy bars.

Mighty Girl helps a big girl out.

Side note: I am going to submit this to Design*Sponge too but...I want to spruce up my cubicle. Add some color. So far I've printed off arty pictures from Flickr but something is lacking. Any ideas?


I told you I'm no good

Birthday week is officially over. I watched the clock turn to midnight last night then promptly fell asleep. So yesterday I woke up and decided to just relax all day. The weather was perfect for it: rainy and chilly and I had no real plans other than grocery shopping. So I ended up looking through photo albums. I figure it’s been awhile since I have posted embarrassing pictures of myself and my awful choice in haircuts and clothing. However, I noticed something else the further I went down memory lane.

I hardly have any pictures where I’m not smiling or making a silly face. Even when I’m wearing flannels or mom jeans or sporting mullets, I’m generally having a good time. I have photo album after photo album of pictures and there is hardly a one where someone has caught me in a foul mood. That made me smile.

Because I don’t know about you, but birthdays kinda remind me that I’m mortal. That I’m on a path towards certain death, and while that doesn’t necessarily frighten me or make me sad, it does make me do a check to make sure the path I’ve already taken was at least enjoyable should my time be up today.

And apparently I have photographic evidence that it has been. And that makes for a very happy birthday indeed.

More in Growing Up.

People that share my birthday

I love dlisted.com.

Christian Slater (38)
Aphex Twin (36)
Malcolm Jamal-Warner (37)
Edward Norton (38)
Craig Bierko (43)
Madeline Stowe (49)
Denis Leary (50)
Patrick Swayze (55)
Robert Redford (70)
Roman Polanski (74)


This just in...

I'm 29! And I brought in my new year to Rasta music with good friends and beer.



I'd watch it

Please someone assure me that this will go exactly like the plot to the Bird Cage!!!!

Jenna Bush to marry!

Because if ever there was a time when all else has failed and Bush and his cronies decide a nice church wedding will make everything right again, that time is now.

Wasn't Jesus Middle Eastern?

Oh America....how do I love thee and your fucking retarded citizens. God bless them thoroughly for they know not what they hell they talk about to newspapers.

Couple discovers image of Jesus in kitchen cabinet
MANCHESTER, Conn. -A Manchester, Connecticut couple is convinced they have a very special piece of woodwork in their kitchen.

Malynda and Eric Smith say they noticed last Friday that one of the cabinet doors has an image of Jesus Christ in it. The couple says they have lived in the house for about a year and never noticed anything different about the cabinet. And they say it may be hard to believe, but everyone who looks at it sees the image.

Malynda says "my daughter came and said mom look it's God.. and I looked.. and there it was a picture of Jesus Christ. Then my son noticed it and my husband came in and noticed it. I just can't believe we hadn't noticed it before."

The family says, unlike others who have items bearing the likeness of Jesus, they are not going to sell the cabinet door. They say that would be bad luck.


BDay Week is AWESOME!

Not only did we go watch Stardust (written by one of my favorite authors) but it didn't suck all that bad. That's a high review for a movie made from a book. I also got to pass up a Sundae Bar at work because hey, I'm the new Kitten. The healthier model!

But tonight, I got to get my hair all colored up. I'm well on my way to going back blonde. Little at a time. Now you'd think I'd have perfected the mirror shot by now since I have a god damn Flickr Set just for my hair pictures.

But sadly no.

Tomorrow, babysquatting Coney Sauce!


Birthday Week!

Not sure if your calendars say it, although I'm pretty sure it's reached to at least Canada. But it's my birthday week!!!! Didn't you know? Everyone gets the entire week of their birthday to celebrate it! You get special treats all week. Like you get to pick the restaurant, or the TV show, or you get a non-fat small latte every morning and it doesn't matter if it's in the debt snowball! ALL WEEK LONG!

However, one thing I don't get is to indulge in any cakes and sweets. Yep, it's been 4 days since I've had any chocolate and I'm pretty sure I haven't consumed any sugar at all except what is in any breads I have eaten, which have been few and far between. It's been all fruits, veggies, light soups, salads, and small sandwiches. Tiny meals compared to how I used to eat. I do allow myself small treats. Like I put butter on my one slice of toast in the morning and I have ate an organic ginger snap but that's about it. And honestly, I haven't felt deprived. Maybe my doctor finally got through to the comfortable fat girl living in here.

Hi, my name is Kitten and I'm fat. I haven't had chocolate for 4 days.

I will allow myself alcohol this weekend for my birthday but it must accompany dancing or a run, but I'm going to see if I can get through this birthday without cake.

And the exercising is going wonderful. I've jogged, did yoga, completed 100s of sit-ups at a time and walked every freaking where. I know, I know, it's been 4 days....but honestly it's been a very long time since I've gone this long and not cheated. We shall see!

And on that note, I have my cholesterol and thyroid check early in the morning. Cross your fingers I don't have to take drugs for my cholesterol or man....well, if I do at least I won't be taking them long.

Weigh in Sunday and then I'll be 29! Ack!


BMI 33

Okay, well, that was refreshing and depressing. I went to the doctor today at 3:00 p.m. to get new thyroid pills and medicine for this cold. Turns out I have gained 18 lbs. since last February and he wants to check my cholesterol. Especially since my blood pressure is up, normal but still higher.

I'm not totally surprised by this. I was thinking it was only maybe 10 pounds, but 18 is scary for some reason. With moving to HomeTownVille and back, losing 2 grandparents within a month, almost getting divorced, my mother getting the shit beat out of her twice, looking for a job-twice, I know I ate and ate just to get through it. I'm a classic emotional eater.

But now things have settled down. My relationship with theMan is the strongest it has probably ever been in our 9 years together. I live far enough from my family to not get involved. I'm surrounded by great friends and have a great social life. Our finances are getting taken care of. Now is the time to get this under freaking control.

So he wants me to check into Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers for some structure. I don't want to do Jenny Craig because I don't want to eat their food, so WW it is! He said I only need to get down to 195 to be healthy (I could have hugged him for this...most BMI charts say I have to weigh 150 which I haven't weighed since middle school). He was very happy I was not drinking soda and such. But that I need to up my exercise levels drastically.

So yea, I'm obese. Great. I've told theMan to save the money he was going to spend on the ghost tours we were going to take for my birthday and just get me dance or yoga classes instead. Which isn't as sad as it seems because it would be fun exercise.

Since I'm stuck home with a cold, this weekend is going to be researching WW and making plans. Plans I can stick too for the rest of my life.

To hold myself accountable to someone besides myself, I'm also going to do something women hate to do. I'm going to tell you my weight, weekly, and maybe, just maybe I'll get to a weight which will have me feeling healthy again. Because right now all I feel is heavy, jiggly and out of breath and horribly horribly older than 28.

So here goes. Today, I weigh 218 pounds. Sigh.

Quotes from the Interweb

On Parenting:

"You think you’re going to be prepared for the sheer incredibleness of such a moment, but it’s like, someone keeps setting off pipe bombs on your front porch and throwing rocks through your windows, and then one day out of nowhere they show up and mow your lawn. And you’re suddenly glad you didn’t shoot them last week."


On Pets:

"I've known a few people with bunnies. The general impression I've gotten is that the "interesting companion to upkeep" ratio is skewed towards the latter. Not that they require a lot of work, just that they aren't terribly engaging. That said, I like the idea of a pet you could conceivably eat if things turn sour."

(With bonus follow-up awesomeness: “I like taco salad because you get to eat tacos and say you ate salad.”)


On Material Goods:

I've been thinking of doing a ban on buying "new things". Like everything that comes into our home MUST be second hand (except food and toiletries, of course). I pretty much already do it with clothes and furniture. Maybe I just want a reason to collect Vintage mugs. Oh god I need to go to garage sales IMMEDIATELY.


Teh Gays are ruining our lawns!

Logo hosted an event (okay, I don’t really remember where this event came from. Maybe I should work for Fox News...) that spoke with the Democratic candidates about gay issues only. I’ve always wanted to hear this. I mean, let’s just get straight answers about individual topics, not necessarily gay issues. With all the hemming and hawing most of the political candidates ON EVERY SIDE do with issues as heated as this, let’s get to the brass tacks here. And don’t distract us with talks about terrorism.

From an article on Yahoo! News: “All of the Democratic candidates support a federal ban on anti-gay job discrimination, want to repeal the "don't ask, don't tell" policy barring gays from serving openly in the military and support civil unions that would extend marriage-like rights to same-sex couples.” Of course they do. Big whoop. Let's get to the nitty gritty, shall we?

Now I’m strongly leaning towards Kucinich quite honestly, even though truth be told, I’m very fed up with the entire process and don’t trust any of them. The article is helping to cement my ongoing affection towards Dennis K. “A majority of Americans oppose nationwide recognition of same-sex marriage and only two of the Democrats support it — former Alaska Sen. Mike Gravel and Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio, both longshots for the nomination.”

When Kucinich was asked whether there was anything on the agenda for gay and lesbian rights he didn't support, he paused and said, "All I can say is, keep those contributions coming ... and you'll have the president that you want." In a statement clearly aimed at the leading Democrats in the field, he said his support for same-sex marriage was "a question of whether you really believe in equality."

I know the game though. It’s going to be either a total nutjob like Guiliani on the Repubs side that is all “9/11 and America and Terrorists” and either a "black man" or "white woman" on the Dem. Side, neither of which I’m convinced our knuckle-dragging devolved country can wrap their head around just yet and that is all most of them will see Obama or Clinton as. Just their skin or gentials. But it’s so obvious those will be our choices.

I also have a slight distrust of Obama. I don’t know, he just kinda came out of nowhere. And of course, like a true politician, Obama won’t say he’s going to support marriage for gay couples, just civil unions. “Barack Obama belongs to the United Church of Christ, which supports gay marriage, but Obama has yet to go that far.”

"If we have a situation in which civil unions are fully enforced, are widely recognized, people have civil rights under the law, then my sense is that's enormous progress," the Illinois senator said.

On the other hand, historically I’m not a fan of people who have opinions so far on one side or another. I’m a fan of grey area because I think it makes people open minded and not every situation is the same. So I’ll give him props for not bowing down totally.

Some surprising comments also came up from other candidates. New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson said: "Let me be clear — I do not believe that sexual orientation or gender identity happen by choice," Richardson said. "But I'm not a scientist, and the point I was trying to make is that no matter how it happens, we are all equal and should be treated that way under the law."

Human Rights Campaign President Joe Solmonese, who was on a panel posing questions to the candidates, said in a statement, the forum "was an important night in the fight for equality."

"Unfortunately, we have more work to do," Solmonese said. "The overwhelming majority of the candidates do not support marriage equality. While we heard very strong commitments to civil unions and equality in federal rights and benefits, their reasons for opposing equality in civil marriage tonight became even less clear."

But my favorite piece of information from the article:

Of the eight Democratic candidates, two did not attend, Sens. Joe Biden of Delaware and Chris Dodd of Connecticut. Logo, available in about 27 million homes, wanted to hold a second forum for Republican candidates but GOP front-runners showed no interest, channel officials said.

Ugh, have some balls. At least the Democrats are starting to. Let's see how many apologize or say these comments were taken out of context.


Summer Colds

Summer Cold, sorta oxymoronic, just like how I'm performing today at work due to it. The moron part anyways.

I have this massive head cold that is causing all manner of things to exit my head any way possible. It's like last weekend the mucuous got together in my chest talking about how the week would progres. You know, which one was going to take care of digestion or swallowing. But one little angsty bastard in the back decides to call mutiny and get a group of his anarchist friends together to exit stage left under this oppressive Communist rule that is my body.

Little fuckers.

So now they've raised the pirate flag and have taken to streaming down my nose in the form of snot and out my mouth in giant hacking coughs. Plus I'm quite sure my nose and eyes are going to clean pop off for the pressure building behind them. I wish I could just send in someone to calm everyone the fuck down in there. Maybe that nice fellow, James Earl Jones. He has a calming voice that still has an air of "don't fuck with me" to it.

He hasn't been in anything recent, maybe he's available.

But, mind you, not too sick to miss a night out of retail therapy and food with my sister tonight. She found this great cheap consignment shop that is full of cheap goods. I really could use a little something to lift my spirits. I'm about to be 29 in a week, I feel like I've gained too much weight with all the drama this year, and you know...all those mundane, white-girl, middle class woes that really aren't that big of deal when put up against say, starvation or the plague.



Etsy will eat your soul

Some things that make me wish we weren’t doing this whole debt payoff thingie:

Orange Blue Grow - Print
This would work so well in our bedroom. I can almost taste it.

Cowboys and Indians
I almost wish these were available in plain blank cards so I could mail them out and make people remember when it was so much fun to be alone with a friend in the woods with some cheap props and your imagination.

Handpainted COLORFUL Ceramic Art Pendant
You could paint a turd in turquoise and I’d wear it. I love this color.

UNIQUE Handpainted Wearable ART Pendant Charm
Even in red.

Great Bowl O Fire Recycled Steel Firepit
The only reason I want to move to the suburbs is so I can have a bitching fire pit like this with grass to lay out and watch the stars.

M9 HUTCH by fosterweld
Okay, wait, this is why I want to move to a bigger house. God, I need to learn how to weld.

12- 18 mos Skull Pirate Soft Sole Infant Shoes EtsyKids
Because I have to buy something for Coen.

Orange Tigerlily Ring
I need a walk-in closet for my jewelry.

Okay, must stop my Etsy addiction….


Breast Cancer

A mastectomy is when a woman's breast is removed in order to remove cancerous breast cells/tissue. If you know anyone who has had a Mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards.

Insurance companies are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient procedure. Let's give women the chance to recover properly in the hospital for 2 days after surgery.

There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will require Insurance Companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy.

It's about eliminating the 'drive-through mastectomy' where women are forced to go home just a few hours after surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.

Lifetime Television has put this bill on their Web page with a petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed on.

PLEASE!! Sign the petition by clicking on the Web site below. You need not give more than your name and zip code number.


PLEASE PASS THIS ON to your friends and family, and on behalf of all women, THANKS.


Not sitting right

There are a lot of things about this article that are not sitting right with me.

In brief: "A jury sentenced a Marine sergeant Friday to 15 years in prison for the murder of an Iraqi civilian during a fruitless search for an insurgent. Sgt. Lawrence G. Hutchins III also was dishonorably discharged, reduced in rank to private and given a written reprimand. On Thursday, Hutchins became the first and only member of an eight-member squad to be convicted of murder in the killing.

Testimony from several of his comrades pointed to him as the mastermind of the plot to kidnap and kill a suspected insurgent. The Iraqi civilian was pulled from his Hamdania home in April 2006 and shot in a hole. An AK-47 and shovel were placed nearby to make him look like an insurgent planting a bomb, according to the prosecution."

Basically what I got from the article was that they thought the guy was an insurgent, shot him then figured out he wasn't, so they covered their ass by lying. Sounds like something their boss would do, so why wouldn't they?

Not that I'm condoning killing people but that's like the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it? The military is going to put a solider in jail for killing an innocent person seemingly accidentally, then trying to cover their tracks. Holy sweet merciful fuck that has to sound familiar to them????

Make people think we're not going to let renegade soliders get away with killing innocent people while we do it ALL.THE.FUCKING.TIME. in the same country the soliders are occupied in.

I like what you did there government. I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.


I feel like such a tool. Because we don't have TV and because we weren't home last night much, I had no idea that such a huge event took place in Minnesota. I can't stop reading the reports this morning. How scary and awful this must have been for those on the bridge. And how mind-blowingly heartbreaking would it be to be sitting in that hotel waiting on news of your missing loved one.

Oh and thank goodness the news is reporting it's not a terrorist attack. Sigh.

This picture struck me so I stole it from Yahoo News. How powerful we as humans can be for each other during these awful circumstances. Now, what can we do?