Good-bye 2008

2008, will forever be one of the best years of my life. I would imagine until around oh, March 2009, but still...it was hard to beat. Some highlights:

-Finding out we were having a baby on 7/4/08
-Successful media cleanse which opened my eyes so much on 3/24/08
-Started our cemetery tour in Chicago and surrounding areas and as a result, have developed my photography and processing skills because of such, plus grown closer to my man - 4/08
-2 Cooking Days with friends that ended up being amazing ways to connect
-Seeing Dolly Parton live in concert, alone-5/8/08
-My sister uttering this sentence: "I wish your face didn't appear on my cell phone everytime my gynecologist calls." - 6/10/08
-Memorable Memphis Road Trip with my Chicago homies 7/18-21/08
-Finding out "it" was a she and perfect on 10/30/08
-Meeting my new niece on 10/27/08
-Taking off work to stay with my nephew while his sister was being born (see above), which involved sleeping with his tiny little limbs all wrapped around me for 3 nights and getting to snuggle constantly with him.
-Getting my diaper cakes put out there publically
-Reading some of the best books I have ever read, life-changing books, all recommended by friends
-The best birthday ever recorded in the history of birthdays, thrown by my sister on 8/18/08
-A beautiful, emotional, delicious baby shower with all of our friends and family thrown by my BFFs on 12/7/08

Here's to an equally great 2009 and a happy and safe new year to all of you!


Vacation All I Ever Wanted

I rarely take more than a few days off from work here and there, but this time I decided to take a full week at Christmas just to unwind and not commute in this shitty weather. Let me tell you, it was so worth it. In fact, I've already put in for 2 weeks next year at x-mas just to expand the goodness. Only next year it will be with Adelaide in the mix.

The only thing I didn't get done was to visit the library to finally pick up the new Malcolm Gladwell. However, all is not lost as I have a couple more days off later this week and I'm still knee deep in "Breakfast with Buddha," on loan from my bud Heather. And as per usual with Heather's suggestions, it's pretty darn enlightening.

I woke up to no alarm for 9 days (although rarely napped or slept in), I cleaned the weirdest areas of my house previously neglected (doors, toilet paper holder, outlet covers), I spent a ton of time with family and my niece & nephew, finally mastered a biscotti recipe, did 14 loads of laundry including baby clothes, nearly sewed a stocking for Yorke, finished thank you cards from the shower (surprisingly bad at this because I found it hard to put into words my thanks...more on that later), shopped until we dropped, and cuddled with my man non-stop.

It sorta gave us a preview of maternity leave together, although minus the sleep deprivation and small person in the house crapping their pants.

Tomorrow it's back to work but I don't even mind. Because of our budgeting/paying off stuff, we are right on target, actually ahead so my headspace for the new year is just right. I'm healthy (as far as I know), we're materially ready for this baby, and rested and relaxed.

Please Allah/Buddha/Whoever, no curveballs. I'm enjoying this.



I'm sorry, mostly to the 3 people that probably read this blog, but I feel like I've had 1,000 blog posts running around my head but no gumption to get them down here! I haven't even told you about the beautiful, emotional baby shower my best friends threw us!! It had a chocolate and cheeseball theme for Buddah sake! How for the first time in Christmas history I had a lovely time with both my dad and my bio-father within a 24 hour period that wasn't awkward (usually awkward with bio-dad, dad-dad is never awkward, just fun) and actually resulted in a ton of emails from extended family wanting to get together further!

This kid of ours has actually managed to bring together families that we had drifted from a little, just by being her gestating adorable self. We've even been in closer contact with some of theMan's family that we haven't seen much of (our fault, not theirs).

Have I mentioned how overwhelmed and blessed I feel? I mean really. No shit. So far I've had few pregnancy complaints, and when something does bother me, I just can't work up the bother to complain. It's just been "fine." Really! Even my sister said to me yesterday, "I forget you are pregnant, you just aren't miserable!"

From the hand-me-downs, to the baby showers, to the lovely compliments, to the financial good news that has come our way, to my overall good health so far...I've just never felt so peaceful.

I suppose just to be fair and not all "Miss Sunshine coming out of her ass" I do have some issues. I fart at really really really awkward times, I now have red stretchmarks on my once lovely dewey white belly, and my back pretty much aches constantly. But I don't know, I mean, fuck...I'm making a human!! Could be worse!

I must tell you though, we have had a great Christmas this year. From the visits with family to seeing the niece & nephew open their gifts and cuddle them all day, to having Coen help me make christmas cookies, to spending today shopping with the family...and especially both of us taking this entire week off work and weddings to just soak in each other...it's been rejuvinating. I was originally sad we didn't have a tree or any traditions, but I think if we create any with Addie, it's going to be the holidays are for relaxing. I've already put in for 2 weeks vacation next year for just that!

So I do apologize, I promise to do a nice long post about our shower, because quite frankly, it deserves it. But for now, I'm so god damn happy I could do cartwheels. If only I could bend over.


Christmas Cookies

I'm trying to decide on a Christmas cookie recipe to make tomorrow with my sister & nephew....so far I've only got my oatmeal chocolate chip recipe, but I feel like it should have peppermint in it.


(Editor note: Took down the post about farting during sex. Enough said on that really. :) )


More tales from 4:00 a.m.

I don't think ever in my life have I seen this much of 4:00 a.m. Especially sober and wide awake for no reason. I'd be really good at being a party girl minus the back ache and sobriety.

But hey, while I'm up I might as well update this little space of mine. I've wanted to discuss something for a long time now, but it feels odd or jinx-y to do it. Basically, I have to admit something that maybe other mothers have gone through, but I don't know.

I wanted this baby to happen, the entire time, hell for years, but I still don't feel like I've let my guard down that it actually will. I force myself to play out delivery in my head. When we go to stores or restaurants I try to imagine what it will be like with a new addition. But it still feels really surreal to me to sit at our baby shower, to have people rub my belly, to overhear my husband telling coworkers I wear pregnancy well (god, that earned him Husband of the Year, even though I had to remember he was talking about me), to fold tiny little clothes...

My protective mind is not letting me just be all "soft focus." Let me state this however: Even though my scared and protective mind won't let me be one of those ladies that just goes ahead and envisions her daughter's wedding day, my heart has already increased in size despite it. I love her and call her our daughter and talk to her, but the only thing helping me to let that place in the back of my mind to relax is reading books on how to care for newborns. It's like those books are saying "she's already here."

I cannot read maternity books any longer. Too much unknown. Logistics of feeding and bathing, that I can do. It's like my love of putting together Ikea furniture and filling out my calendar is equating to our girl and how I can comfort myself that everything is going to be okay with this kid.

Basically, I have completely given up on the "Pregnancy Week by Week" book for the "How Does Her Poop Look?" series. Is this normally what ladies do?

Maybe I'm done with pregnancy? Pregnancy has absolutely agreed with me, I mean...I love having her with me all the time, I wear clothes to show off my belly as much as possible, the bigger it looks, the better. I don't even stress out about my body changing so much or the new pink stretchmarks or the weight gain. And the aches and pains I do have, well, they just seem like "duh, you are making a human." We've even already talked about baby no. 2. for god sake!

Maybe I'm just reaching that point where I'm really really really excited to meet her. To take care of her. I know I absolutely cannot wait for my life to change, to slow down and alternatively speed up at the same moment. To know she's out here okay. I haven't done any planning of our lives after March, not even our budget (and I'm anal retentive about our budget) or trips, etc. I just can't. It's new territory.

Two big milestones making it harder to be so flighty though was the 20 week ultrasound where we saw exactly what she looks like (if she were to be born in x-ray) and feeling her move. Move is sorta the wrong word. This kid doesn't just move; she punches and jabs and kicks her daddy in the head every morning.

Maybe she's trying to convince me she's fine after all. And god dang it, she's apart of this family, mom's weirdo guarded mind or not.


Leaving on a train

After giving our niece & nephew a much deserved smooch session, I'm now home packing for our weekend to Indiana for our first baby shower. Still cannot believe 1.) I'm even having a baby and 2.) people I love are throwing us a party for it. I am promised 3 tiers of chocolate cake, a soak in a huge bath tub and plenty of smooches for my Gracie-Monkey and Luke while their momma and other auntie make cheeseballs out the yahoo.

All week I've been feeling very emotional about people close to me. This whole pregnancy has shown me, like a magnifying glass, who in my life surround me with love and support and man, it's a whole bunch of great people to have in my court. I am a very very lucky girl.

See you Sunday!


24 Week Appointment

Everything was good! Started out hearing the heartbeat (my favorite thing ever). Only dry heaved once at my desk while drinking the glucose (sorry to cube mates), I didn't pee on my hand or hose down the bathroom floor during the urine sample, and Dr. V said pains are normal and to keep drinking water. She asked about any spotting (none) and the blood test kinda hurt but over fast. They checked my iron levels and thyroid as well as insulin stuff. In 8 weeks I start going every 2 weeks. Next appointment is 1/2/09!!

I got out of taking the flu shot again too. Told her I was still coughing up a lot of green stuff. I just don't want it.

So in 2 days I find out if I can have baby shower cake. I’m having it regardles.

Also, I have gained 21 lbs. total and she didn’t say a word. Whew.