A few more of my favorite things

Originally uploaded by MizVoid.
Had a dream last night that involved Joaquin Phoenix in a tight black t-shirt and pants, me in only a long t-shirt and skivies and a large white comforter wrapped around us at a skating rink watching the Oscars together. It wasn't a bad dream, if you get my drift.

So in his honor, I thought I'd post a few more pics of his gorgeousness by giving you a link to his GIS along with this tasty photo of the delicious Vince Vaughn.

Yep, it's Teen Beat Tuesday! I think I'll start a tradition.

List Tuesday

Some recent favorite of mine, I thought I’d share:

1.) Straylight Run, especially “Slow Descent” and “With God On Our Side”. Brought to my attention by my always in the know sister.

i'm tired
cynical and broken, but wiser
heavy with a sense of resentment
but i used to be so much different
i used to have so much faith
when i started
you knew that i always meant it
i knew i could make a difference
i struggled to be heard
and then finally, one day people started listening
and i knew it
but as soon as it began it was ruined
a slow descent from unique to routine
over and over
"just do it again and this time with feeling"
the spotlight
the focus on the friends and the feelings
that made those stupid songs all worth singing
and don't you say a word
unless you're pretty sure that you want it analyzed
so we drove
for what seemed like days
over roads
and four lane highways
we said all we had to say
and i realized in time that it didn't mean anything

2.) “Everyone Says I Love You” A film by Woody Allen I hadn’t seen until my NetFlix decided to send all my Woody Allen picks at once. Woo hoo! Weird for Woody Allen since it’s a semi-musical, but I love it love it love it. It also explains why people are right wing conservatives, but I’ll wait until you watch the film to tell you.

3.) "Vegan Vanilla Cookies" Yet another prospect for the Vegan Cookbook/Baking company....vanilla cookies! They taste like sugar cookies but better and have no butter, milk or eggs. What’s cool about vegan baking stuff is that since there are no raw eggs, I can eat the batter. Hmmmm

Okay, so I went to bed at 8:30 p.m. last night. Anyone want to take a stab why I am bouncing off the walls today!?



Originally uploaded by MizVoid.
My mom and Kevin are here to celebrate their birthday so we took them for some of the best seafood this town has to offer. Followed by cheesecake and more drinks afterwards out in the suburbs.

Today mom has had the full beauty treatment: eyebrow waxing, manicure, pedicure, hair color and cut. Click on the picture to the right to see the finished product.

She'll kill me for posting this picture but it shows exactly how mom reacts after taking a shot of flaming no. 43.


More Gay Sex = Less Abortion

Hey folks! It’s Friday! Weeeeee! My mom, her husband and theMan’s little bro (which he’s essentially mine now too at this point) are on their way up to celebrate birthdays. More importantly, Kev (little bro) is 21 and my god that is so weird.

I still think of him as 13, trying to break into his brother’s room while we are making out. I picture him at 16 at our house with theMan white as a ghost from Kev “learning to drive” in our old pick-up truck which meant going into cornfields and blowing through stop signs. It’s just so strange that now he can come up here, go to “titty” bars and throw back a few with the big boys.

Hopefully he’ll still speed through stop signs on occasion just for fun now that he’s all grown up.

I may not be posting again until Sunday but I promise great photos and at least one or two stories of my mom drinking a Daiquiri and offending some ethnicity while she is here.



I'm officially old.

Some station just played "Lithium" by Nirvana on the classic rock block. Followed by "867-5309-Jenny".


By the way, my friends rock. They read my blog this week and I had one call me to make sure I wasn't having body image issues and another that reminded me that "hey, don't get cancer." Nothing like my girls to put my ass in check! However, I must tell you...sometimes I just get on here and rant. NO worries, this is the best about my body I've felt. I'm just in that void between "will my ovaries work?" or "should I start shoveling in the ice cream now and collecting cats." Such a steep ledge, no?

Thanks for being concerned though. Having you girls makes being alive pretty kick ass.



Originally uploaded by MizVoid.
I'm working over tonight. Too bad it wasn't for "exciting" reasons.

Somehow "waiting on Kinko's in Texas to call me back" isn't as sexy.

Uterine Lining

I went to the doctor to make sure my lady lumps are okay for baby making in another year (yes, theMan, by next February-get your swimmers ready). I’m all set except I need to lose some weight and keep my thyroid in check. Lose...some...weight. The first time someone has said out loud that is an obstacle in not getting what I want.

Not that I can’t have kids, but she suggested it if I want to be extra prepared. The thyroid was a given, but I didn’t realize having a low thyroid can affect the baby’s intelligence. We’ve got ENOUGH working against my kid’s intelligence, let’s not let the thyroid play a part as well. Seeing how I can't leave a room without walking squarely into the door frame and everytime theMan leaves the apartment we have a ritual of all yelling: "keys, phone, iPod, pants?" to make sure he makes it to the car in one piece.

So the last week I’ve tried, I really have, to not eat crap (mostly) and eat reasonably healthy foods. I figure I have at least a year to get this in check, right? Then I got sick, so I didn’t go to my Kwando class. Then I ate 15 Hershey Kisses today because as my desk calendar tells me, I’m suppose to ride the Crimson Wave tomorrow...always an excuse.

When I was in Columbus I was watching some baby shows and the mothers were huge, even a couple weeks after the birth. Jen tried to tell me this is normal, but from someone who has always had an unhealthy body image, this terrified me. Not only would I be exhausted, a vagina stretched to the limits so that a stiff wind across it could reproduce the soundtrack to Lord of the Rings, and have a screaming infant that I have no idea how to care for...I’d be 30+ pounds overweight too on TOP of whatever weight I am overweight now??? Eeeek.

Yes, I realize this is totally vain and oh my, let’s just focus on the baby, 10 fingers and 10 toes...blah blah blah...but I already warned you I’m not the soft focus kind of girl. Sure I want a healthy kid, no problems, but if I can have absolutely all of that baby weight drop out my uterus at the same time taking a few extra pounds with it...

...can’t a girl dream?


Et tu Brute?

Turns out I have a viral infection. Weee. The bonus is that my tattooed internist has access to all of my thyroid records so while I was there for my ear ache, he looked at my thyroid business. He’s suggesting I just bring my half a thyroid to his office from now on and forget Dr. Not-A-Good-Listener (NAGL). He had me give some blood for an additional test to go with my standard T4 & TSH test today as a precautionary. In fact, he suggested it pretty “in your face.”

“Just tell Dr. NAGL that I had your bloodwork done at MY office.”

Then showed me the way to the lab at the end of the hall with the best blood prickers in the business. I should know since I’ve given at least 11 vials since November. Sigh. I tried to leave work early due to this sick business but since my “promotion” started today I was sorta trying to make a good impression. Hard to do when you’re half deaf and constantly hacking up green stuff, but I gave it a shot.

Weekend was great though besides being ill! Friday I had a date with my sister and we went shopping, shopping, shopping and capped off the night with dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and a vegan shake from Pick Me Up. Saturday though, I woke up even more really really sick. theMan and I ran some errands, got him a new coat, hit up a used bookstore, split some noodles and came back home so I could edit more of my cousin’s home movies. Sunday, I baked all day and then we went to the dinner party you saw in my Flickr photos.

I must tell you about my baking though! I’m trying to make a vegan cookbook that is full of easy to make foods and tastes like things vegans might miss. I’m also toying with the idea of a Vegan Baking Company that would sell online and to retailers hopefully. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

theMan and my own impending veganism is my inspiration since we may not always live so close to our beloved grocery store and restaurants. I figured I better step up. Seeing how I come from a long line of women that like to bake, why not. I made banana bread, wheat molasses bread and herb oat bread on Sunday. The banana and herb oat were a hit, the molasses, not so much. For my pals that live in Chicago, expect to be my taste testers.



Originally uploaded by MizVoid.
Because I'm half deaf from an ear infection, I'll let you look through the pictures and I'll give a full explanation tomorrow.

Some bonus points:
1.) I found my grandmother's watch and my cousin's dog tags and I fully believe they were placed there mysteriously.

2.) We had a most EXCELLENT time at Jen & Jose's for a dinner party tonight. Not only am I partly deaf, but I'm wine drunk and my belly is full of spices. YUM

3.) I perfected a couple of vegan bread recipes. Watch out world.

Till tomorrow, peaceful dreaming.


Mr. Mom

“No matter how good he looks, some other girl is sick and tired of putting up with his crap.” - Confucious

I want to have babies, a ton of them...well okay, maybe just two, but I want to have them in the next year to two years. We’ve started making some plans and figuring out how we can make this happen and some of that includes implementing our plan for theMan staying home and taking care of them while I work the 9-5 gig.

First things first: I have nothing against daycare. It’s what some of us have to do so let’s not even get into that debate. However, since we got married we’ve always said that he would stay home with the kids while I worked. I don’t want to stay home because quite honestly I like working, interacting with adults and having work related goals away from home. I’m also very good at what I do and I like the satisfaction of it. I also like being in control of our money flow and I’m a wee obsessed with my resume.

Quite honestly, being home with our kids all day would require me to be the boss and although I’m good at making things happen, I don’t feel comfortable being the one responsible for what my offspring do all day. However, I think theMan would be pretty great at that. He’s 100% on board with how we want to raise children, he’s way more dedicated at research and following through with things like their nutrition, their education, etc. and quite frankly I’m curious to see how our kids would grow up with those traditional roles reversed. I imagine they won’t be able to be rocked to sleep without some Alex Jones screaming in the background.

Plus, I’m the one with a career and he’s more of the free spirit (i.e. part time job). So in this regard I feel like we’re all set. He agrees, I agree. Blamo. Going down to one income won’t be too much of a stretch either because his income right now isn’t huge anyways. I carry insurance on us so that would only change slightly when we add kids.

So why do I still feel like I have to choose between my career and my children? Like I’m making the wrong choice. All I gotta do in this fantasy set up we’ve arranged is get knocked up, go to some doctor appointments and pop them out. We’ll be on maternity leave together so we can get the hang of a newborn as a unit before I leave him alone with it all day and I’m back at the office climbing that corporate ladder knowing my kids are going to be reading from the Cosmic Trigger series by age 3.

Yesterday I was semi-sorta promoted and I get a new office and new responsibilities (sadly not a pay raise yet). I’m also on track for taking some tests to get an extra certification which would make my resume glimmer like Paris Hilton’s freshly waxed buttcrack. But I just can’t shake that it’s wrong. I feel like I have to stop thinking about those things now that I want to have kids. OR I’m choosing my career over them. OR I’m going to constantly have to defend our choice. OR maybe I should wait to have kids until my career doesn’t mean as much to me. OR one day my daughter will write her own version of "Mommy Dearest."

This doesn’t help that my mother seems to be embarrassed about her son-in-law staying home with her grandkids instead of me doing it or sending them to daycare. In her world we both need to work and whatever I decide, I’ll always wish I could stay home instead. “You’ll see” She never said specifically that she was embarrassed but the constant insisting that he work at least such and such job part time or that our kids HAVE to go to daycare or preschool or they will be weird...I just get the hint. My mother, anything but subtle.

Thankfully theMan could give two shits about what anyone thinks of him and our plan. I think it’s eternally cool that he’s willing to stay home and make this his career, our family.

I’m not going to believe that I will be one of those mothers that puts a soft focus on things. I like that about my friends and even my family. We’re abrasive, we tell it like it is, we say what is on our minds. I just figured this one area of my life wouldn’t be a fight. I wouldn't give in to that stupid guilt and remember it's not about what other people think is right.

I think a lot of this is coming from our culture. We’re supposed to be strong, independent women that have careers, executive husbands, an SUV, 3 babies and a clean 3 story ranch house. “They” never tell us how to do all these things but by god you better stick to that agenda or expect to have meth addicted kids drooling over their lunchables and mainlining cola by 18 while they are at a 3rd grade reading level.

The role I’m going to take is traditionally the man’s but the guilt I’m feeling is definitely a woman’s.


Film Festival

Originally uploaded by MizVoid.
We came, we saw, we rocked that f-ing film festival!! Our film was first and quite honestly, the best. You can really tell that Jen is going places and this wasn't even her latest film.

It was nice being introduced to people as Art Director, I must admit. There were a lot of people there, including ones that I had worked with on films in the past. Nice to see them again. That's the bummer about films...sometimes you get really close to people on a shoot then after it's over, you don't see them much.

Big thanks to those who came out and supported us. We felt the love!


Originally uploaded by MizVoid.
Just returned today from my weekend trip to Columbus to celebrate my bud's last chemo treatment!!! Plus, I had to get my monkey fix since it had a been over a month without squeezing her.

We had a blast. It was, like always, a very relaxing weekend there complete with almost all night chats where we forced ourselves to go to bed even though I believe we could have talked straight through for 24 hours, a Grizzley Bear men documentary that may be the best film I've ever seen, hat shopping for Jen (see the snazzy one in this pic?), plenty of food and some drinks and cheesecake. Plus, I got to help take care of the monkey. And let me tell you, the monkey is CUUUUUTTTTEEE.

So if you want to see way too many pictures of Gracie....click on the pic and view away!


Friday Five (Early Edition)

Because I get a little anxious about riding on planes, and I have to ride one tonight, I’ve decided to do a Friday Five (a day early) that looks back on life.

1. What did you want to be when you grew up?
I still remember in the 2nd grade I told my class I wanted to be an astronaut because all of the girls were saying things like “teacher” and the boys were listing a wider selection of careers. It just didn’t seem fair. Not that being a teacher is bad, that’s highly respectable to me. But even then I felt a sense of rebellion against what I was “supposed” to do as a girl and what the boy’s answers were.

2. Did you follow through? If not, what happened?
No, because even then I knew I didn’t really want to be an astronaut. However, I still like to do things I’m not supposed to as a “girl.” Like talk like a sailor, lift heavy things, know how to use power tools and get dirty.

3. Is your life turning out the way you thought it would when you were a kid?If not, is it better or worse?
I have several things I’ve always known would happen, even if they weren’t as specific as a career choice. Things I’ve had as rules for myself. 1.) I’d get a college degree so I could always take care of myself financially. 2.) I’d never be in so much debt that I’d have to borrow money off of my grandparents. 3.) I’ll have kids, one way or another. 4.) I’ll own some land and build a house. 5.) I’ll never let a man hit me. And 6.) I’ll experience life outside of my hometown. So far, so good.

4. Paradoxes aside, if you could time-travel back to when you were 10 years old, what would you tell your 10-year-old self?
To not worry so much about your weight and what people think of you, to not get so caught up with boys, to treasure your family and to take a year off before going to college so you can visit other countries while you’re still comfortable enough with being poor and mortal.

5. Do you think the child you were, would like the adult you've become?
Yes, I believe so. I’ve stuck to my rules for myself and I’m surrounded by people I love and that love me. Plus, I’d be a cool mom to a 10 year old.

So there you go. Feel free to steal this and leave me a link to your blog. See you Sunday!

P.S. If you live close to Chicago, don’t forget about our film being shown at the theCOLLECTED WORKS - FILM FESTIVAL on Sunday at the Underground Lounge!! Doors open at 8:00 p.m.


Few more

Originally uploaded by MizVoid.
There are a few more of the Harp-miester in the Flickr account.


Harper in the Hiz-ouse

baby 004
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.
Few more pics of the baby up for you guys. I'll be adding some more of us holding him too a little later today (hint hint, theMan please send me them from the camera!)

Gotta admit dudes...I'm down right now. With my Gramps this weekend, Matt's birthday and subsequent video editing of his home movies, worrying about my cousins, etc...I'm feeling a bit beat mentally.

Thankfully this weekend, I have an upcoming trip to Ohio to help celebrate Jennifer's last chemo (WOO HOO!) followed by plenty of monkey squeezing time which will heal my heart, I'm sure.

Bring it on.



Things are better with my grandpa but we're still waiting on one more surgery tomorrow till he's in the total clear. It got pretty scary this weekend. Seemed like everytime the phone rang it was more bad news. He has an infection which caused him to have a minor heart attack and angioplasty surgery on Saturday morning. His heart is doing much better, now they are just working on the infection and kidney stones.

As a bonus, I got to spend a little time with my family, especially Erica on our cousin's (her brother's) birthday. I also got to see the first great-great-great grandkid, Harper live adn in person. He is sooooo freaking cute. Weighs no more than a sack of bread and is totally squishy.

In honor of Matt's birthday though, I've put together a little clip from the films I'm editing for the family. It took me by surprise when I found it but then again, knowing Matt...I don't know why I wasn't more prepared.

Happy Birthday Matt
. Things just aren't the same.

(Quicktime to play. Wait for it...it's worth it.)


Papaw Freddie

My gramps is in the hospital and is being transferred to a bigger hospital beacuse he has an infection around his heart from a previous surgery. We're headed down tonight to rally with the family around him and keep him laughing.

Please please please be okay.

My god, the length of this post is criminal

You’re getting a huge, out of order, blabbering post today. So here goes….


Words that make me want to cut a bitch:
-Eminent Domain
-Fox News
-Plus Size

Aw, I’m not that cynical today. Especially since I give big kudos to my governor after a story I read this morning. He’s sticking by his guns and making Illinois pharmacists fill prescriptions for birth control and the “morning after” pill, regardless of their personal feelings. Sometimes government does agree with me!


1) What was the first album/CD/Cassette you ever bought?
Faith No More and Depeche Mode – CD, tapes-no idea.
2) What was your first fave song?
I’ll confess a secret I’ve held for most of my life. When I was little I had a intuition/dream that if I ever proclaimed one particular song to be my favorite, that I would die soon after. One time, years later, I was driving to school and was listening to some Voltaire. I recklessly thought, “Wow, this is probably my favorite song.” Then I thought instantly, “You’re going to die now.” I have never listened to the CD again since that day.

I am insane.

3) Which song gives you that "funny nostalgic feeling" everytime you hear it?
Beatles “Rocky Racoon” make me think of dancing in the pool room at Dad’s, any Allman Brothers or Led Zepplin makes me want to hang around a bunch of guys drinking beers and leaning on cars with their hoods up dissecting problems with carbeurators, and “Knockin’ Boots” by Candyman makes me think of the Skate Corral.
4) Name the first concert you ever went to.
Grand Ol’ Opry or by myself, Lolapolooza 94
5) What do you consider the worst song of all time?
Lean on Me and God Bless America

1) Name your fave song at the moment.
“Calendar Hung Itself” by Bright Eyes
2) What is the most recent album/CD/Cassette you purchased?
Tom Petty “Anthology: Through the Years” and Johnny Cash “Essential” at the same time.
3) Which song will you never get sick of hearing?
“Oh My Sweet Carolina” by Ryan Adams and "This Magic Moment" by Lou Reed.
4) What is your current fave music video?
Visual Porn: “Perfect Drug” by NIN. The only music video that has ever made me teary: “Hurt” by Johnny Cash.
5) If you could be a famous music artist, what type of music would you produce?
Probably Tori Amos type stuff. In fact, I’d like to be Tori Amos. She sang a beautiful duet with Trent Reznor, she’s gorgeous and one of her best friends is Neil Gaiman. That ain’t a bad deal..


I’m currently addicted to Bright Eyes. A-dick-ted. So here’s some lyrics for you. Sometimes there are songs that I listen to repeatedly so I can write down the lyrics to fully understand them written out in front of me. I don’t know what he was trying to say, but I know how it makes me feel. Sorta sad but hopeful. I’m also kinda a hippie.

Tomorrow when I wake up
I’m finding my brother
And I’ll make him take me back down to the water
That lake where we sailed
And we laughed with our father.

I will not desert him.
I will not desert him.

No matter how I may wish for a coffin so clean
Or these trees to undress all their leaves unto me
I put my face in the dirt and then finally I see
The sky that has been avoiding me.

Time take us forward,
Relief from this longing
They can land that plane on my heart, I don’t care
Just give me November, the warmth of a whisper
In the freezing darkness of my room.

No matter what I would do and in attempt to replace
All these pills that I take trying to balance my brain.
See the curious girl with that look on her face.
So surprised, she stares out from her display case.


Yay! Pictures of Harper! (courtesy of Mrs. T.)


Harper is here!

All night labor…egads...but the new Great-Great-Grandkid is here!

Harper (To be announced) Lewis
Born around 4:30 a.m.
7 lbs. 1 oz.
19 inches long
To my adorable cousins, Joey & Krystal.

If only I had some PICTURES!! (hint hint, Uncle Brian)


Supper Club

Originally uploaded by MizVoid.
Tonight was our weekly meeting of the minds over delicious foods that our fair city has to offer. It was the "Chicago Diner" tonight complete with Soy Parmasean Chickin sandwiches, mac n' cheeze and a huge slice of cookies n' cream cake.

We all left and went home and puked, then ate that, then puked again...and well. You get the picture.

(Clicky on picky to get more visuals!)