BMI 33

Okay, well, that was refreshing and depressing. I went to the doctor today at 3:00 p.m. to get new thyroid pills and medicine for this cold. Turns out I have gained 18 lbs. since last February and he wants to check my cholesterol. Especially since my blood pressure is up, normal but still higher.

I'm not totally surprised by this. I was thinking it was only maybe 10 pounds, but 18 is scary for some reason. With moving to HomeTownVille and back, losing 2 grandparents within a month, almost getting divorced, my mother getting the shit beat out of her twice, looking for a job-twice, I know I ate and ate just to get through it. I'm a classic emotional eater.

But now things have settled down. My relationship with theMan is the strongest it has probably ever been in our 9 years together. I live far enough from my family to not get involved. I'm surrounded by great friends and have a great social life. Our finances are getting taken care of. Now is the time to get this under freaking control.

So he wants me to check into Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers for some structure. I don't want to do Jenny Craig because I don't want to eat their food, so WW it is! He said I only need to get down to 195 to be healthy (I could have hugged him for this...most BMI charts say I have to weigh 150 which I haven't weighed since middle school). He was very happy I was not drinking soda and such. But that I need to up my exercise levels drastically.

So yea, I'm obese. Great. I've told theMan to save the money he was going to spend on the ghost tours we were going to take for my birthday and just get me dance or yoga classes instead. Which isn't as sad as it seems because it would be fun exercise.

Since I'm stuck home with a cold, this weekend is going to be researching WW and making plans. Plans I can stick too for the rest of my life.

To hold myself accountable to someone besides myself, I'm also going to do something women hate to do. I'm going to tell you my weight, weekly, and maybe, just maybe I'll get to a weight which will have me feeling healthy again. Because right now all I feel is heavy, jiggly and out of breath and horribly horribly older than 28.

So here goes. Today, I weigh 218 pounds. Sigh.