Cradle Envy

Cradle Envy
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

It's not news to my husband and me, and possibly you readers that of the two of us, I have the larger sex drive. We kid in fact that he has to put me on a detox program after a round of the horizontal mambo since I'm ready to go right after. It's just got more strong in the last couple years.

Lately, and I don't know if it's that late 20's sex drive thing that women are supposed to get or that in 2 months we may/possibly/I don't know/because/I don't want to jinx it...start trying to have a kid. Since I know that, it's like my ovaries are screaming "BETTER PRACTICE THE DELIVERY TOOTS!" I've even taken up shaving my legs on a regular basis and we've started talking exceptionally dirty to each other a lot, even over breakfast (of course after I've had my coffee). But this is something people: I'm a flip flops and "oh fuck it, my armpits are at least shaved" kind of girl. But I find myself emailing my husband mid-day while I'm figuring out if we'll get caught screwing in the extra office at lunch?!?!? I need to be put away!!

For the past week Coen's cradle has lived at the end of our bed, every single day. We haven't consummated in front of it or anything, but it's as if everytime I enter our room it's smacking me in the face. GET TO IT WOMAN and then my mind goes to the gutter. However, I will not tell Coen how his bed was the reason I was wanting to bang the hell out of his uncle. Well, maybe when he's 16.

theMan, to his credit is not freaked out by the cradle or my filthy text messages. In fact, he seems game. Which, my god, I've waited so long for.

I also should mention that he got the graphic design job, he works freelance now. I also got hired to do a couple videos. I think that has something to do with it too. Ambition is a sexy sexy attribute. Men take notes.

I don't know where I'm going with this, I just know that lately...it's getting ridiculous. But in the same regard, I'm also looking forward to having that cradle gone. We've got a GWO scheduled in 2 weeks full of things you can't do if you have babies. Golfing, shopping, drinking and dancing to hip-hop looking like straight up hookers. When I start figuring out if I should buy that 1 lb. of coffee beans because I might not get to finish all of it since I'll possibly be pregnant in 2 months, I really really really need some drinks and shopping.

Wal-Mart Face Drop

I got punched in the face at Wal-Mart by my husband while I was wearing flip-flops. I think that ends my official "initiation into hicktown".

A little history...theMan & I were picking up an item I had put on layaway and we had to wait for the clerk to go into the bowels of the SuperW to find it. So we got onery and were wrastlin' around when he pulled some karate shit on me while I went in for a bear hug and BOOM. His fist, my face, full force.

So yea, it's official, we live here.

There should be a law against bitches man.

Garage Sales

The estrogen in this room is killing my sex life
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

My mom and grandparents and I ventured out to the mega-garage sales today in search of furniture for the upcoming baby. Turns out, if you have $40.00 in your pocket, you can outfit a kid for an entire year.

The find of the day was when we went to one yard and found the entire crib set with mobile from the John Lennon collection for $15.00. The ruffle & bumper was stained so we chewed her down to $10.00. Later we found the same ruffle & bumper for $1.00 in perfect condition to complete the set.

I spent the rest of the day feeling like I OWN THIS MUTHAFUKKIN TOWN BABY! Yes, I got a few things for myself, but we had so much fun with the baby stuff we had to rush right home and spread it all out.

I am the world's greatest aunt.

She's a Brick

“Keep your specs on, I got daggers in my eyes.”

If you haven’t watched “Brick” then before looking up to check that you haven’t lost the top part of your brain, go rent this muthafukka. It’s incredible. The dialogue and story could have been done in a way that was “eh” but because of the actors and the setting it’s placed in...genius. I almost wanted to watch it again.

I also wanted to do the horizontal mambo with the lead actor, and that always means it was a good film. If I can be summoned to actually make the effort to pull off the big rub with an actor soley based on a gritty, awe-inspiring performance, not because they are simply sexy, that is something. I can barely be persuaded to shave my legs.

I never thought I’d say it, but thank god my birthday is over. I had fun when my homies intervened, but all that in between time left alone with my thoughts was making me crazy. I made it, I’m 28, now it’s time to start something.

My job knows I’m not happy and keep dangling carrots, but sadly I’ve applied at about 15 places already because it’s just not working out. I’ve even called in the big dogs and asked some contacts I have in Chicago for referrals in my state. We shall see.

theMan is interviewing today for a graphics design position which would be something he could do from home. Just keep crossing your fingers. I’m also thinking of sticking my neck out and owning my own business too. It was on my list of life goals, along with motherhood and living in a castle. So we’ll see. When you are at the bottom, there is no where to go but up.

I feel very self absorbed right now. I want to constantly apologize to my friends and family. So let me start by saying...how are you?

Back in Town

Sisters
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

We're back from my birthday trip to Chicago to see everyone!

After wrasslin' traffic and parking and expensive food, we were reminded why we moved. However, I would be lying if seeing our friends, brother-in-law and sister didn't make us rethink our decisions several times. I made myself hold it together though, no more tears this week, and we've already made plans to come back up twice more before Coen gets here.

I love all those guys and seeing my sister was awesome, thank goodness it's only a short drive away. Plus winning a loooonnnnngggg game of Trivial Pursuit against the almighty Rodney was pretty sweet too.

More pics including belly shots in this set.

I'm 28 Today

I'm 28 Today
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

Thank God it's Friday and that I no longer feel the need to wear side ponytails and tucked in sweatshirts.

At least there is that.

Happy Birthday to me!

It is complete
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

This week has been rough, I won't lie. I woke up yesterday at 6:00 a.m. and pretty much cried all damn day. My wonderful sister sent me gorgeous flowers though and let me blow my snot in the phone while the GWO's called, emailed and talked me down from the ledge. I'm just a bag or homones and I'm pretty sure it might have something to do with my upcoming birthday.

Birthdays have never bothered me, but this one just seems off.

My dad came by tonight with a surprise to lift my spirits. I had mentioned that I would love at least one of the chairs in the set from the local thrift store, even if I couldn't get both. He went in to do just that but couldn't find it in his heart to break up the set. So I got both and now I have chairs from my dad. Furniture from a parent, well, it just has me at hello.

Everytime I sit in there and read, which will be almost nightly, I'll think of pops. That, and my family & friends, is just how to turn this week around.

(Note: Pics of some of my baby garage sale finds in Flickr as well. Clicky on the pic-y)

Zany for Zinnias

$6.00
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

We had a very lucrative morning of garage sale-ing where tucked away in a suburb I found the mothership of baby items for Sis. In fact, had I the proper funds, I could have fully clothed a baby plus toys, bassinet, crib, pack & play and bouncy seat for under $100.00. No shit. I think I'm going to plan our children around garage sale season for this very reason.

I got a bug up my butt about our shitty yard again so we loaded me up with cheap flowers and mulch and I set upon my biggest mission: I finished the backyard to a point where I wouldn't be embarrassed to sit back there and I landscaped a little in the front so it doesn't look like crystal meth is being cooked inside.

To see just how far our little box has come, go here....

(More pictures from just today, if you click on the pretty orange flowers as well.)

What's even more cool is my brother-in-law made me a table for our patio for my birthday! All I had to do was weather-proof it today. It is solid as a rock too and the perfect size for margaritas or cards when it cools off outside! I love it!!!! Kevin, you rock man.

Now I owe him 2 months worth of breakfasts....but I think it's a fair trade.

Sweet Redemption

Sweet Redemtion
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

Tonight I decided to meet up with Mrs. T for some much needed girl time. I had just lost my shoe collection and she had a tough week at work.

You'd think we'd get together and watch girlie movies and do our nails, but no...we slaughtered some 18 or so buffalo wings, drank some alcohol and drove on expired license plates all over town looking for the sweet relief only cheap jewelry and shoe shopping can bring.

A special "hey are you trying to kill us" to our best friend Jennifer for raving about the hottest wings I've ever let my taste buds feast on. I think my lips will be numb for another week. It did feel like she was there though, laughing at us for being so weak. ;)

The day I made my dog pee in fear

That dog is almost dead to me
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

We came home tonight to find that our dog, our beloved dog that we religiously feed organic canned food twice a day, let him hog the bed whenever he wants, and bathe like a child....chewed up at least one of each shoe from my entire GOD DAMN SHOE COLLECTION.

He drug out my favorite red ones along with the rest of the carnage, but must have finally had a notion that he had reached the line in the sand and if he were to lay even a bicupsis on the fragile smooth red leather, he would be spending the rest of his short ass life in agonzing pain.

Let's take a moment to remember them...

Oh, the Liz Claiborne's. How I loved you. I got you from the orphanage at Filene's, 50% off from $120. They were comfortable, strappy and the perfect sexy toe amount showing for the summer.

The strappy toe hugging brown ones that my mother got me just last week to wear to the wedding and to lift my mood. Gone. Just like that. I barely knew ye, but I loved you all the same.

My tall tall tall closed toed black and green shoes from Parade on a day after I walked back to my shitty job from therapy feeling like I deserved the best pair of heels I could afford. Something to make me feel like a girl...and there they were. We barely knew one another since I save you for special occasions when I could stand to be 6'3" for more than 2 hours. But I loved you like a sister. You will be missed.

I'm going to go have Kaboom porkchops roasted with onions and marinade. Anyone wanna join us?

Reverse Rapture

reverse rapture
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

This is how we spend a Tuesday night in HomeTownVille. We do calistinics and piss off our dog...

Are you sure?

Are you sure?
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

Tonight the gods shined upon us so we made our way to theWal-Mart for the second or third time in one day. Sigh....

We scored some more gifts for Coen though, bibs that were too irresistible to not put on and try out.

More in flickr.

12 days until my birthday

Apparently I'm either Amish or a hippie or a grandmother. I had an overwhelming urge to make bread this weekend. Like from scratch. No bread machine, nothing. So I did. I pulled out this Veggie cookbook my aunt gave me from the 60's (the one where all the pictures of the men are shirtless and bearded and the women have severe armpit hair and lovely hand-made dresses). It turned out pretty good too and it made enough so I could serve it for breakfast, give some to my grandparents & friends and still have a loaf left over for us.

Loaf...one of my favorite words.

But that is how I spent my Saturday night. Only after I woke up from a coma from a day's worth of farmer's marketing, blueberry picking and baby shower shopping and planning. I think I was a little pooped from Friday's all night card frenzy as well.

Today I'm cleaning my Grams house for her as soon as she gets back from church and then bio-Dad is coming over to check out the pad. CUE NEUROSIS. Not sure why this is making me so nervous but it does. I've already cleaned and Frebreezed enough to kill off any remaining IQ points I had stored up to pass on to our unborn children.

So this is one of those "what I did today" posts and I'm sorry. Either my thyroid medicine is jacked up or I'm having the "Sunday, gotta get stuff done jitters" but I haven't a creative bone in my body today and I don't think I've blinked all day I'm so amped up. I'm also prone to run-on sentences.

This will have to do. This will have to do. My new mantra.

It's your turn

It's your turn
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

We watched our 5-year-old Godsister last night from 5:15 until 11:40 p.m. In that time we accomplished the following:

-Played Chutes & Ladders
-Got my eyebrows waxed in our pjamas
-Made dinner that she didn't eat
-Played mom & dad
-Went to 2 stores
-Played at the playground & got ice cream
-Played "store"
-Watched a movie
-Ate toast with honey & hot tea
-Told 3 stories
-Colored in coloring books
-Played on the Barbie computer like she was working at the BMV and I was applying for a new license.....

Tonight, I'm going to bed at 9:30 p.m.

I did figure out that the reason the "stork" or whoever the hell hands out kids doesn't give you 5 year olds at birth is because, though infants cry, at least you can keep them from being mobile and opioninated.

She did inform us that next time we better get a pool because she might want to go swimming. Oh, and get her some floaties.