So I promised to tell you about my weekend. I had an "all girl" weekend, meaning, some girlfriends flew/drove in to just hang out together. We even stayed in an awesome hotel with a Chess theme. I was tempted to steal some of the furniture. We just went female crazy. Did all the sterotypical things girls do when they are together: shopped, ate great food, talked about men, gave each other sex toy advice, and even had a few drinks. If you are female, hell, men too, definitely get together with your buds for some all out "gender related" good times. So far we are planning one 3 times a year and I can't wait for the next one.

Found some good stores too. I lived in this city for almost 2 years and never discovered any of this stuff. Filene's Basement on Michigan Avenue, the Cheesecake Factory (holy shit it's awesome), etc. Yea, they are sorta touristy....but damn. They are busy for a reason. Got some great deals on clothes/shoes too. But might I suggest that if you ever come to Chicago you steer clear from the club "Excalibur." One of my friends was dancing and a guy started to unzip her pants, another one was asked if she wanted to "fuck". It sucked so bad and not just for that. $7-$10 drinks, a $7 charge to get in to the first floor and an additional $13 to get to the floor with techno/house music, plus it was so crowded you couldn't even hardly move, on top of that it was a major sausage party. Of course, with the exception of the drunk girls who scream constantly to show that they are having the best time. The 2 guys "DJ"-ing the first floor were retarded and kept interrupting the music to talk. I didn't pay $7 to listen to some jack-offs. DON'T EVER GO! So anyways.... that was my fun time. I got my female energy refilled.

Another thing to pass on is this man: Please read his books. Especially the "Cosmic Trigger" trilogy. My pal Easton got me hooked on Robert Anton Wilson a few years ago. His writing is witty and mind blowing. You'll feel your brain snap on certain parts. How often during the day do you see the number 23?

I was thinking....I'd really like to know who reads this blog, besides my pals, but as far as I know there isn't any comments section or anything with this software. So e-mail me at: mizfoyblog@yahoo.com and let me know who/where you are. Maybe my ego is getting the best of me...but sue me, I'm curious.

Well, that's all for today. Must get back to work. Word.

At least they wear a helmet

MURFREESBORO, Tennessee (AP) -- The threat of scrapes and bruises, not to mention sunburn, didn't stop the fledgling North American Nude Bikers club from holding its first rally this weekend.

Events at the Rock Haven Lodge Family Nudist Park in southeast Rutherford County included a barbecue, live music, bike games and a poker run -- where bikers vie for the best hand by drawing cards at stops along the way. They don't actually ride naked. Mostly. "You've got to be real careful or you're liable to get something burnt or hurt," club Vice President Allen "Anchor" Turner said. Turner, 46, came up with the idea for the group last November. Participants said the values of trust, respect and freedom are common to both nudists and bikers.

So I'll be posting a little later this week about my exceptionally fun weekend I want to share with you all. Have a good Tuesday!

Purple Polar Bears are just silly

A female polar bear named Pelusa turned purple after she was given a special treatment to clear up a skin condition.
The strange sight has attracted crowds of visitors at the Mendoza City Zoo in Argentina. Zoo officials said her fur will go back to her normal cream color in a few days. The 14-year-old bear suffers from dermatitis.

If a show can even make ME laugh with the uncomfortable phrase "Which of these n*ggers took the last donut?", I think it's best to keep watching it.

I believe people from "The State" are on this show, and damn it....it's some funny stuff. Happy Thursday!

Something awful is happening

Recently referred here and you must check out the Photoshop section. Last Friday people redid Civil War photos. Holy shit.

Son to Father: "Dad, what's a vagina look like?"
Dad: "Before sex, it looks like an unopened rose."
Son: "What does it look like after sex?"
Dad: "Well son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"

Man, there's nothing like the thrill of making something for yourself. I just put together a shelf for our bathroom and earlier this week I made curtains for our bedroom. They have happy dancing skeletons on them. Now, I don't remember them looking that happy when I bought them off a roll at the fabric store. I think they like being curtains. I wonder how they'd like being pillows?

If you never hear from me again, they hated being pillows.

So I'm sitting here rotting my brain in front of the tube and I found a great discovery. It seems on AMC on Friday nights, they show horror movies in a segment called "Friday Fright" or something. I just watched Rosemary's Baby for the 400th time in my life (gets better and better), and now it's an episode from Tales from the Crypt called "Whirlpool." Weeeeeeeeeeee.......

Okay, no more posts today. I gotta sleep sometime.

Okay, so I posted a whole bunch of links I like to visit. You can find them over to the side, there you go...little more. Right there.

It's Friday night. What are you doing? Me? Not too much. It's probably going to be one of those weekends.....we'll see. Till then, sleep tight.

This stupid blogger software just put a blank post here. Can't complain too much, I suppose. It's free.

I'm going to be adding some of my favorite links to this thing tonight.....stay tuned.

Here's one to tide you over. Teach yourself the Bible using Lego's!

Happy Friday!

If there was ever a case to be made for more government funding for public education, it's the people on this show.

Just sitting here watching Cops. "132 and Bush, I got him at gunpoint." And god damn it if I don't get some kind of sick hard on for domestic disturbances! Especially ones in the South. They are really sad, and yes, depressing but they aren't happening to me. So I can get that little acidic flutter of excitement when I hear the call over the radio without feeling like some kind of sick fuck. They pull up and another pair of officers already has the husband in handcuffs on one end of the house. The guy is yelling at the girlfriend from the living room. His fat belly hanging over his sweat soaked pants as the broken wicker furniture barely holds him up. She's in the kitchen holding a naked baby in one arm and smoking a Misty 100 in the other. Her head all bloody and telling the cop that she's just not sure if she should press charges. I mean, fuck! It only gets better when they have no teeth and they are trying to recount the events leading up to the "incident".

Chadd always says all these shitty reality shows on TV nowadays owe their lives to Cops.

Go to www.consumptionjunction.com and watch this clip....immediately. I love guys named Crispin Then go ahead and check this out:
Those crazy foreigners.

...end transmission

I wonder what that tastes like?

Police: Drugs Make Man Cook, Eat His Genitals

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia -- Police in Malaysia say a man cut off his own penis and then fried and ate it. They say he had taken hallucinogenic drugs that caused him to hear voices urging him to mutilate himself. A police spokesman says the 34-year-old man took the drugs before he went to bed Friday night and heard the voices when he woke up. He didn't realize what he had done until he saw the blood. The man had recently been released from a drug rehabilitation center. Malaysia's national news agency reports he's hospitalized in stable condition.

So it's Friday, here we are again. What's new? Well, my sister is now out of jail. That's good news. Although I felt safe with her in there, it was sad seeing her like an animal at the pound. I found another reason not to ever break the law: they strip you, bend you over and make you cough so they can check in your cavities for weapons or drugs. Then they stand you naked in a cell for awhile until they get you the uniform. Wow....

Reading a great book by Richard Metzger. It's a book of interviews you can buy here from the great site at www.disinfo.com. A few of my favs are the interviews with Joe Coleman and Robert Anton Wilson.

Saw an awesome show last night on the History Channel called "Superheroes, unmasked." If it's on again, I suggest setting the Tivo or VCR or whatever you use to burn stuff in your memory. I never knew a psychiatrist from Germany was so concerned that comics were destroying the youth of America that the comic industry had to come up with a code, like the censorship currently used in filmmaking, which almost destroyed the comics of the 40s and 50s. Fucking psychiatrists......

My boss is interviewing a new female appraiser right now. I want to run in there and drag her out to save her from the years of self-doubt and pain she is about to cause herself. However, I'm currently feeling quite apathetic about the whole situation, so fuck it.

If you have TNN, watch the new Ren & Stimpy's on Thursdays at 9:00. I've never seen a rat's asshole so beautifully animated.

"A few years ago an American President was put through the 18th century ordeal of impeachment, a vast, expensively-staged comic opera of white manes waving and grave baritones intoning, over a dribble on a dress and the lie he told to save himself embarrassment. Today we have a President who has hurled the world into two dirty, pointless wars after what undoubtedly qualifies as the longest sequence of public lies ever uttered in a free society, and yet in his homeland he remains popular and is collecting enough campaign cash to rival the Swiss bank balances of the Russian Mafia."

- Believe it or not, this essay by John Chuckman gets even better.

Stolen from today's Daily Dirt, but I thought it was eerie enough to share.......

As far as omens go, it was inauspicious and somewhat cliché, while no doubt spectacular for those who were there to see it. It was on Thursday, the third of July. A hot and muggy Independence Eve. Standing at the pulpit of the First Baptist Church in Forest, Ohio, guest preacher Ronnie Cheney (no relation) was winding up his sermon, calling upon the Lord to give the congregation "a sign," some inkling of his presence. No sooner had he spoken the challenge than a blast of blue lightning plunged through the church's steeple, ripped through the sound system, snaked up the microphone and enveloped Cheney in a cloak of cold fire. Later on, outside the church, as firefighters doused the flames, Cheney described the incident as: "Awesome! Just awesome!"

The traveling preacher, giddy over the implications and heedless of the destruction caused by his answered prayer, had no way of knowing his brush with Jungian synchronicity would be the spark that ignited a short and ongoing season of miracles.

The next day… July 4, 2003. Independence Day. The nation's two-hundred and twenty-sixth birthday. In Philadelphia, a celebration is taking place as Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor is on hand to help inaugurate the National Constitution Center. As she asks the gathered celebrants to pull the ribbons that will reveal the building's façade, a huge chunk of frame is loosened and comes thisclose to hammering O'Connor's skull down into her ribcage. A not-so-subtle reminder that there is something out there - a spirit, an ideal - that hasn't forgotten the brutal assault she and her four Supreme Court cohorts dealt the Constitution in December of the year 2000? Who can say?

Meanwhile, that same Independence Day morning, at Washington's National Zoo, the mangled, bloody carcass of a formerly majestic, 21-year-old bald eagle was discovered. A shredded lump amid the weeds and dirt of its aviary, the puncture wounds and lacerations indicated some kind of predator had felled the iconic raptor, though no other animal was found in the enclosure. The eagle is only the most recent in a long line of mysterious animal deaths at the zoo, and it's the first to garner national attention. The near-perfect metaphorical aspects are simply too resonant to ignore.

And on it goes. In Africa, as Preznit Dubya touches down for his first state tour of that plague and war-ridden continent, a plane in Sudan ploughs into the ground, killing all on board… except one. A two-year-old toddler survives what 115 other unfortunates do not. What kind of future awaits this unbreakable wonder-child? And what part - if any - will he play in this future?

Back home, in a cruel twist of fate (?), a Marine who took part in PFC Jessica Lynch's highly suspect "rescue" from an Iraqi hospital dies in car crash on his first weekend home from the burning sands of Iraq. His name is Josh Daniel Speer, and yer old pal Jerky thinks there are some points that we should keep in mind about this incident. First: the rescue debacle - with its contraflicting tales of derring-do and its ever-shifting details - has proven to be highly controversial, and somewhat of an embarrassment to the USG. Second: Jessica Lynch, herself, is still being kept incommunicado, isolated in a military hospital, away from even the most delicate of media (something that should be freaking people out right about now, but isn't, for some reason). And, finally, Speer would have had intimate, first-hand knowledge of what really happened t hat night. The fact that he died within days of returning home is certainly not a smoking gun, but in this age of blighted synchrony, it certainly is fishy, nonetheless.

---------Get your Daily Dirt at www.dailydirt.com-----------

Q. What's good on pizza but not on pussy?
A. Crust

(Thanx to my sister and the Montgomery Co. Jail for that one!)

It's official. Everything from Sweden has been declared good. And why, you ask? Because these guys (In Flames) make me hard.

Saw them last night and talk about a great show. Great music, great crowd response, even impressive lights. Fabulous! Another experience I had this weekend that I thought I would share is this movie: Capturing the Friedmans An insightful but creepy look at a family where 2 of the members were convicted of sodomy with children. Believe it or not, you actually giggle nervously at points during this movie.

Had an awesome July 4th break. I got to get away from the work, hang out with friends all weekend and have a good time, and of course, see some kick ass swedish metal! Woo Hoo! One thing I learned at the show....I love chicks who smoke and big fat men with super long hair. I can picture them now. Sitting on the edge of their bed, naked, brushing through it so it will blow-dry straight. God damn it.....

Guess what? The Lord has smiled upon me....Freddy Vs. Jason August 15th, 3 days before my birthday. The perfect present? Possibly.....unless the Leprechan shows up and kicks both their ass. Ugh.

Mandatory reading for the human race

Okay, so that was a pretty depressing post before so I thought I'd lift some spirits with one of my favorite authors. If you haven't looked into Neil, baby, what are you waiting for?

Also, it's almost July 4th. Now, I could give 2 shits about patriotism and all that such business. To quote the prophet Bill Hicks "My parents just happened to fuck here, I didn't choose to be born here. It's a round world last time I checked." But it does mean we get a day off work. Which will allow us to go check out the new Apple Store on Michigan Avenue like the nerds we are!

Slap my ass and call me Pappy!

Weeeeeeeee!

Fun games to take you away from reality for awhile

Here's another present from me to you. The egg game is my favorite.

Find out how long you have?

Well, this is depressing.

I went to the Taste of Chicago this weekend. The trailer parks certainly emptied out for that event. Also visited my sister in jail back in Indiana. They get jail issued orange jumpsuits, plastic orange slippers and shampoo called "Maximum Security". I talked to her through a piece of glass that barely gave you enough room to see her face.

Remind me never to break the law, would you?