Boobs and such

In the spring of 1996, my senior year of high school, I had a breast reduction. At the time it was the best decision I ever made for myself, and frankly, still is. I could take dance, I could wear shirts under an XXL, I could buy bras that didn't just come in beige and circus tent size. In short, I could feel like a girl. (Although the scarring made me retire my career of flashing passing cars on the highway.)

The only downside is that they told me I couldn't breastfeed. When you're 17 and known as "Biggins," even though I welcomed the nickname and laughed along, breastfeeding is the furthest thing from your mind. In fact, I hated my boobs so much I didn't want a baby touching them, let alone boyfriends.

However, now...well, now it's really really important to both theMan & I for our daughter. I had scoured the internet for any nugget of good news that would say "Oh you'll be able too" and basically was met with "You have to wait and see." Which, honestly, that's pretty standard advice for any new mom I guess. I have to wait and see.

I have good signs: my boobs hurt when I get my period/ovulate, they have been acting weird and growing 2 sizes during my pregnancy, I have *ahem* cracking nipples, but still...I won't know until I deliver how they will fill up, per se.

So as a back-up, my sister has graciously offered to store some breast milk of hers for us. Just to clarify, she's not going to breastfeed our daughter-boob to mouth, although that really doesn't bother me if she did. No...we got her a pump and she's pumping milk for us to store in our handy 5 cu. foot freezer now occupying our dining room. Pumped breastmilk, when stored in a freezer not attached to a fridge is supposed to keep for 6 months or so. We have, so far, enough of a supply for her first week and 2 more months to go of pumping to get her first month in the freezer before she gets here.

I trust my sister explicitly as far as what she puts in her body, hell, she's healthier than most people I know. But it's more than just that...the whole thing just gives me a "it takes a village" vibe that absolutely warms my heart (our heart, as theMan is grateful too) and brings our girl closer to her aunt. I just, well, I'm just god damn proud.

Some people have been skeeved out, sure, but it just seems like such a selfless act on my sister's part and I can't tell you the pressure it's taken off me. I mean, I'm still going to try to breastfeed and have even found some great evidence saying it's possible.

But I can rest easy knowing that if my boobs, my perky, surgically enhanced (or de-enhanced) breasticles don't do as their told, Addie will still get what we feel is so important for her first few months.

How do you repay someone for that? I mean, Hallmark doesn't make "Thanks for feeding our kid by pumping at 5:00 a.m. every night" cards.