The Future of My Moods

Lately, and with some good reason but sometimes not, I've been pretty low. Moody and just want to be alone. I'm happy with the pregnancy, it's been relatively easy, and can't wait to start planning and see this little fella/gal, but I feel so distant in the here and now.

On top of being tired and big and round, I just exist. I'm so distracted at work, that when I used to be their brain, my bosses now have to remind me to check on things they asked me to do. Good thing I got the promotion the week I found out I was pregnant.

...And I'm horny as a motherfucker, except I've been on restricted activity so long "Stella hasn't got her groove back" yet, so to speak.

So it has me thinking about postpartum depression a little. I know how to take care of myself and ask for help now, thankfully, but still. I've never had to ask for help when I'm sleep-deprived, saggy and feeling unattractive and trying not to kill a newborn by forgetting to feed it or where I put it last.

Universe, just promise you will keep an eye on me.