5.24.2005

Nipple

I've got a weird problem, one that I have been putting off telling anyone in the medical field about because, well, it just seems so odd. And after going to the OB/GYN last year to have a lost tampon fished out of my love cave, I'm not in too much of a hurry to call them again. But hey, why not tell you all, right?

My right nipple, or her formal name Ms. Nippleton von Pinkenstein, HURTS and lately she's very perky. My husband thinks it's because he's all muscular now and Ms. Pinkenstein is all excited, but I'm guessing not. She's never had a mind of her own before so why start now. Especially since my breast reduction surgery took a lot of their sensitivity away. And what about her sister, Ms. Erasertop of the Aerola Order? She just lays there until we bother her enough to come out of hibernation. So I walk around looking like a perdittle but no one can touch it or I will punch them in the jaw.

Unfortunately googling is not helping me and neither is WebMD. I don't know what to do short of band-aiding a cotton ball on it and steering clear of a cold breeze or porn. Is this normal?

3 Comments:

Blogger Mr 5.25 said...

I feel for your "condition". Oh wait, that's not what I meant. Or was it?

12:16 PM

 
Blogger darren e. logan said...

the web isn't very friendly to medical questions like that. it sucks. i remember having to do some searchin for a prob of my own a few years back to no avail. ended up goin to frikkin cook county, which wasn't as bad as you might think, although the doctor i saw in the followups was a dickhead & did not believe me when i told him that "no, I'm not having any rough sex, matter of fact, i haven't had sex in over a year, and i'm not yankin it hardcore either!" as if i'd make that shit up!
all's well now though. thank you jeezus for fixin my weenis!!

1:29 PM

 
Blogger Kitten said...

Oh man...i don't even want to know what they'd ask me about a sore nipple. The only sites that came up were for breastfeeding, and I'm not, last time I checked.

There should be a field of medical practice for embarrassing questions which you have to go to a dark cave for to ask the question.

1:31 PM

 

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