Wounds

Because I can't read in any vehicle or moving object, I look over theMan's shoulder on the train and pick up bits and pieces of whatever he's reading in the mornings.

Today it was Osho's "Awareness" and a part struck me. Mr. O was talking about responsbility. The fact that we are responsible for how we feel. His example was if your wife is being mean to you and you get angry, you are responsible for being angry. Your wife is being mean because that is something in her. She would be mean to whoever was in the room, it doesn't necessarily have to be you. That blaming your anger on someone else only puts the responsbility on that person, not yourself. And as we know, you cannot change anyone else.

So he says when a feeling comes up, ride that feeling back into your past and see where the original wound stems from. Osho believes that because we do not live in awareness, all or most of our feelings in the present come from the past.

When you find the original wound, don't judge it, deny it or scorn it...just look at it from an outsider's point with compassion. The moment you find this wound, give it awareness and it will heal immediately. He says it is due to the fact that the wound was originally made unconciously, so giving it conscious awareness will make it disappear not hide in your subconscious somewhere.

My thought was that what if healing this wounds feels scary? Because those wounds are familiar and what we've always had that we think makes up ourselves. What if not having any wounds and living truly in the present is scary because we do not know how that person would feel or act to be. Even if we're angry or sad, it's how we've been. What if you like those wounds?