It doesn't work like that

I was reading over at Dooce.com and she just so happens to bring up a discussion that was had last night with a girlfriend...well sorta.

Basically we came to this conclusion during a talk on the g-spot & passionate sex experiences: Porn (or sex shown in media) rocks in many, many ways, but there is some potential damage to be had. Besides the fact that porn stars bodies are certainly not the norm, but I can deal with that. I get it...it's fantasy. I don't get horny watching pock-faced skinny dudes ramming a girl with close-ups centered on her cellulite either. And I do not think porn degrades women, except possibly more degrading what men know about women.

Basically, we were wondering if the most harmful lie of porn is this: Girls should moan uncontrollably as soon as you put it in, even if you had just 5 seconds earlier been doing the dishes.

Sure the girl in the movie was doing the dishes in an expensive pair of crotchless panties, but she was doing the dishes nonetheless. Let's pretend that is a real life situation. Bear with me. What you don't see in porn is the woman just got off work and came home to a sink full of dishes she has to wash before she can make dinner, even though she's hungry. The camera doesn't pan over to a stack of bills to pay or that phone call she just got from a friend that she's been overanalyzing. Let's say she stripped down to her crotchless panties because she spilled coffee on her skirt on the crowded train on the ride home from work. The fact that she's now bent over the kitchen table moaning could be because she's in pure extasy or she wants it over with quick so she can get on with the dishes. Is this too cynical? Probably.

I got to thinking, maybe that is why sex for women (I won't overgeneralize, I'm talking about women I've talked too only) isn't always great. I've had many many many experiences with boys who don't get it. I'm not saying girls know exactly what turns them on when they hit puberty either. In our repressed soceity that preaches abstinence or you're a whore, who would? However, sex comes up ALOT with all of my girlfriends. In fact, I think we talk about it more than the men I know do. And I've noticed that every woman I know has said sorta the same things.

We can call up exactly when it was that we had the best sex of our lives and there was usually a lot more involved than someone got a boner. I only know 3 people in my life that have had orgasms purely from pentration only and it was NOT every single time. So I wondered if the sex that men do see in movies, TV, etc. throws them off a little on how to actually please women sexually.

I do not want to sound like a femi-nazi. I'm not. I love men, I love everything about men. They are tasty and yummy and if I thought about it too long I'd have to go "do the dishes."

It's just a theory I was rolling around in my head. I'm just saying, the sex we're shown in porn, on TV, in movies usually depicts women moaning for the sheer fact of having something inside her. Do you think that would effect how we act? Maybe some social conditioning going on here?

I am still young and inexperienced in a lot of ways. I'm throwing this out there for analysis. Does anybody else think Sex Ed. should actually teach us a little about how our genitals function as well as how to keep them safe from disease? How to treat each other and listen to each other so we can sexually please our lovers? Does anyone else think the entire Middle East and the elected officials in our government need a big fat mind-blowing orgasm and a laugh before the world implodes in on itself?