I'm a girl

I'm going to make it easy on my husband this year. I'm going to publically announce what I want and where I want to go for Valentine's Day. Sure it would be nice to be surprised, but fuck it. It would be nice if everyone stopped killing each other over religion too, but hey! Everyone says women are hard to figure out, so I'll help.

Now let's get something straight in my defense....for many many many years I've heard the excuse at Christmas, Birthdays, and even Valentine's Day that "it was all commercial," "let's give gifts the rest of the year," "I'm not wired that way"...blah blah blah. I've accepted that even though I've felt very hurt by it. I'm not a high maintenance girl, okay? I didn't even require an engagement ring or a honeymoon. Cut me some slack.

In the past I felt ashamed for wanting to partake in such a commercial holiday or romantic gooey stuff in general, but let's face it, I'm a girl. At least last time I looked down. Gooey things make me happy. I'm also programmed by the Corporate Capitalists of this country to expect certain things, like one day a year I can eat a box of chocolates without feeling like the mom from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?". And if it were true that we'd celebrate other days of the year, I'd get over it. But we don't, so I'm not.

So here goes:
1.) All dark chocolate box of assorted goodies from Godiva. Tell them to leave out the cherry ones.
2.) A massage, either by you (preferably) or by a professional. Lifting weights lately is making me long for a rub down of mythic proportions.
3.) To dress up and take me out in public to dinner with your hand rested protectively on my back whenever we stand by each other. (Or, you cook for me at home. I'm flexible.)
4.) At the restaurant, you pull my seat out for me.
5.) Hot, dirty, monkey sex either before, after or during chocolate eating. I'll even leave on my heels.

That's not so bad, is it?