Thanks, I know.

I realize that smokers don't like to hear about how smoking can kill you and they don't like it thrown in their face on a daily basis. And I usually respect that and don't bring it up unless it's the right moment and only with people I truly care about, like my dad. I guess I expect the same treatment in regards to my weight.

If it's out of hand and my close friends and family are worried about me, then I expect them to point it out to me tactfully and to my face. Tell me they are worried about my health, my general well-being, what have you. However, having my 300+ pound co-worker make a comment about how I should be in the front of the canoe during this camping trip because of "all my weight" is an entirely different situation.

I'm already having my annual pre-bathing suit wearing panic attacks as it is. I'm trying to be discreet about it too. Just sucking it up and putting away my pride in order to show off the hail damage on my ass and still have fun. I don't need my 3-chinned male co-worker throwing it in my face in front of other co-workers the day I fucking leave.

Secondly, I hate when people I don't give a shit about make me cry.

Okay, I'm not dense. I'm a big girl, not thin by any standards. I'm overweight, curvy, whatever people want to call it to make themselves feel better. And yes, it's my fault. I spent most of my late teens, early 20's eating whatever I wanted and planting my big ass down whenever possible. In the last couple of years I have made an effort to exercise and change my diet. I currently weigh less than I did in high school, even though that's not such a great thing. However, years of my lazy abuse and my family history (most are obese) have made this effort harder than it would have been had I been smarter all along. I repeat, I am not looking for something to blame this on. I am not sueing McDonald's, etc.

However, I have my health checked regularly and all systems are fine. No, I can't wear mini-skirts but I'm not considered obese just yet, at least by the medical community, thank you very much.

I spend most of the year feeling generally okay about my body. I like my curves, my height and I absolutely love my boobs. It's just that one time a year when society feels it's okay to essentially wear only your bra and panties outside to swim in.

Is it truly necessary for this guy who is one Big Mac away from his heart exploding to point out loudly such rude comments to me on a monthly basis? No, I don't think so.

Do I want to poison his morning coffee so I can watch his big fat carcass writhe around on the ground for making me even feel remotely self-concious today more than I already am. Yes, definitely so.