Slutz

From the lovely, and witty Plotzworld on Friday, April 28, 2006 - “So, When Did Barbie Get So Jank?” (Sorry, I don’t know how to link to just this entry, but it was at the top last time I checked!) comes a post that I’ve been brewing in my head for quite some time.

I’m pretty much going to do a “what she said” but I wanted to go into it a bit more.

Have you seen the Bratz dolls?? Or as I like to refer to them: SLUTZ. theMan has seen my rage on more than one occasion when we pass this aisle at the local Target. I believe the last time we were in there I screamed at the top of my lungs “80 plus years of the Women’s Rights movement and this is what we end up with?!” while theMan pulled on my hand to divert my attention back to the shoe department to get me to calm down and to stop throwing the boxes at the employees.

These things just make me flabbergasted and that is not a word I use very often to describe myself.

I didn’t realize Barbie, with her impossible dimensions and nipple-less boobs (thus making it impossible for Pregnant Barbie to breastfeed... hmmm... patriarchial conspiracy or Mattel just saving money on coloring of the plastic?? Get out the tinfoil hats.), was going to the way of the Bratz-SLUTZ dolls. I kinda held out hope that maybe, just maybe Barbie would keep what little class her 70’s soft focus porn star look could hold up without going all ghetto-car-humping-booty-shaking-video-vixen-looking on the Tweens. I guess not.

My stepsister loves the SLUTZ. She just got the SLUTZ Cowgirl one for Christmas despite it being physically impossible for the doll to really wear a headband mini-skirt while riding a horse and trying to keep up her oversized head in the process. Where is she going on the horse anyways? To the Wet Seal to get more hooker clothes?

Please don’t get me started on the name of that store.

At the Wife Liberation Front Summit this weekend we talked about how our lives would have been different if during high school we knew what we know now or if we had the confidence that we do now. If we didn’t worry about what people thought of us and that everyone is pretty much in the same boat: fear of being uncool and trying to just fit in regardless of the group we’re trying to fit into.

It was hard then, I can’t imagine how hard it’s going to be now with our role models dwindling down to Paris Hilton while the obesity problem and economic situation gets worse.

I wonder if there is an upswing in eating disorders among young girls now. Seems like the Slutz dolls have the Nicole Ritchie/Olsen Twin big head, skinny body thing down to ensure that notion is put in their heads as early as possible. If there was a SLUTZ cartoon it would show them puking after meals and eating Saltines for Thanksgiving dinner. Hmmm, wonder if Robot Chicken can whip something up?

This bothers me on a very deep level. Sure, I played with Barbies, probably for longer than the box recommended, and part of the fun was putting them in costumes I couldn’t wear in public. I couldn’t really go to the mall and buy that ball gown. Plus at 13 I felt sorry for Barbie’s big tits more than envied them since I was sporting a pair of my own at the time that brought me no small amount of torture.

For some reason this just seems different. Barbies still looked like women, not girls in slutty outfits.

SLUTZ aren’t the root of our problems as a society, but I feel like they don’t help. I don’t think the real problem with our children in this country is obesity but that they aren’t allowed to stay kids. These dolls just help that image. Sure, you may be 13, but why not dress like you’re 18!

Another problem is these dolls clearly dress to have the opposite sex look at them (or the same sex, whatever). Why would a doll that looks to be about 15 dress in a mini-skirt and heels with full make-up including lip liner if it was just for a sleepover with the other SLUTZ dolls. No, I don’t think so. These dolls further the idea that girls need to have boys look at them to feel validated. They need to be pretty, mouth-closed, slutty idiots or they have to work at the Barbie McDonald’s and hope for Bobby Jo, Ken’s black sheep cousin to pull through the drive-thru and notice them.....sigh.

And now, there are Slutz BABIES.