Sisterhood

I’m so torn today, well lately in general. I have a dear friend, hell let’s be honest, she deserves more than a “friend” title, who is going through fertility treatment which isn’t working so far. Today especially is a hard day.

On the other side, my sister is pregnant and moving along merrily on her way. There are baby toys scattered about our chateau, I force her to try on the fake belly whenever possible and I could set up shop at Babies R' Us if I wouldn’t be looked at weird by the employees.

But I want this sooo bad for my friend E. too. So bad I can’t stand it. She's been through enough.

My other BFF is having to wait to have that desperately wanted second child due to cancer treatments so her future is more grey than black and white as well in that department. There needs to be another monkey in the world to make us laugh and squeeze.

I realize there isn’t a well of feelings that you can only pick one from. I can be ecstatic for my sister and sad and sensitive for my BFFs at the same time. I just want dearly to only have to pick from the ecstatic part of the well for BOTH of them. They all deserve to be happy.

God damn it.

Don’t make me get into why, as women, our fucking uterus (uteri? what is the plural of that anyways?) can make us lose our shit either...ugh. I'll start going off about our society and you might have to have the people in white coats come get me.

Lately the idea behind “sisterhood” has been on the top of my brain. I’ve not been a girl that historically had a ton of girlfriends. Usually I got along better with guys. However, since the Wife Liberation Front has come into my life and my sister has grown into the strong, lovely, woman I always knew she could be, I just can’t believe I didn’t think it wasn’t important to have strong lady friends around. Plus the other ladies that I've had the pleasure of knowing and learning from.

Now, I’d be lost forever without them. I'd be one of those crazy people the police catch walking in the middle of traffic mumbling about the end of the world. Really.

These women mean more to me than a proper title can describe. Maybe I should make up a new one: Sister/Family/I’ll Fucking Lose My Mind If I Don’t Talk To Them On A Regular Basis/Co-Troublemaker/Friend...

...there just aren’t words sometimes.