3.30.2004

Back from the dentist. I think the dental hygenist knew I was not in the mood. She made it quick and nixed the idea of me meeting with the dentist for the upsell of veneers. She's actually pretty cool and almost looks and talks identical to Heather, a pal of mine. It's like having Heather working on my teeth.

Anyways I was flipping through an Entertainment Weekly magazine while I waited and I read an interview with Sarah Polley, the leading lady in the movie, Dawn of the Dead. A movie which is currently grossing more at the box office than "The Passion." Her take on it (roughly paraphrased): "It makes sense. They only have one person rising from the dead, where we have thousands."

Tee hee.

Ugh...just got some bad news. I guess my great-grandpa is not doing very good. I am not going into it much on here but it's not pretty. Once you hear news like that you sorta stop listening after the first sentence with the bad news. My "unpleasant news" radar immediately went up when the phone rang...guess my intuition knew before me. You could say I would be at peace with it on a small level if something were to happen to Gramps. I wrote all my grandparents a letter a few years ago describing why I was thankful for them and how much they meant to me. Ever since then I guess I've felt like they know how I feel so if anything were to happen I'd be okay with that end. I've had a lot of people die in my life and that was always my biggest fear. Words unsaid. But on the other hand my world would darken a little. My Gramps is a strong man who cares for me more than I'm sure I'll ever really know and I need him just as much.

I am lucky, I know that now that I'm grown. I spent my teenage years pissed off at the world, mostly because my bio-dad wasn't around. But by him not being around, nature, god, whatever, provided me with 5 sets of grandparents that loved me as much as they could. Whatever I do Gramp's is always in my court, completely proud of me. It's good to grow up with that kind of love, especially when life is not what you'd call normal. I'm not going to write my eulogy for the man yet for crying out loud....I guess bad news makes me nostalgic. I already miss his hugs because I live so far away. I wonder if he knows that.

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