Random-osity

1. Young ladies out there in the Midwest: while I appreciate the 50% of you not taking my man's attention away from me when we walk through the mall because you are wearing big, saggy, cloud/star printed pajama pants and hoodie sweatshirts, I don't get the other 50% of you looking like you could make a Bratz Doll blush.

Girls, can't we find a happy medium? A happy, belly covering, somewhat modest yet flattering, vibrant colored, medium that doesn't come from Wet Crotch, Forever Slutty One, or Charlotte Hussy? Let's take it up a notch for us ladies as a whole and meet in the middle. How confused must 18 year old boys be when they see their girlfriends either dressed like they've just had a baby and have been up all night or like they are ovulating and need to repopulate the Earth like NOW OMG! before The Hills comes on?

2. Michael Buble, god damn you for making me like smooth jazz.

3. I've now reached that special age where I need a cup of coffee to function in the morning and a bottle of beer to relax me at night. Great.

4. Joquin Phoenix, thank you. Now I want to fuck Johnny Cash.