X-mas Recap (LONG ONE)

Sorry for the delay in posting. We were gone from Saturday until Monday morning and quite honestly, I’m exhausted. Not that the holidays weren’t fun, hell they were hilarious at times. It’s just that as the days go on, I’m more and more off kilter with these fucking hormones.

That’s enough publicity for this stupid thyroid though. So let’s recap, eh?

Friday night I came home at noon and proceeded to sleep until 5:00 p.m. Then I made a big dinner for my roomies and we opened gifts. I got the COOLEST gifts too. A dry erase board that looks like a comic book panel from my sister (plus some smelly good stuff) and a Brat Pack DVD set from Pants. That’s hard to beat.

Saturday we got up and I dropped the dog off, ran some errands and we hit the road. We visited with our grandparents and aunts and uncles for awhile (we got a hand painted Day of the Dead skull from my aunt!!) before rushing to go see King Kong. A film which I will rename King SUCK for evermore. I want those 3 and a ½ hours of my life back. The only thing that film did was make me miss my dog.

X-mas morning we woke up and opened presents at my dad’s like tradition calls for. We scored some films (Ed Wood!) and a calendar with pulp art on it while Dad did summersaults to his new Star Trek Season Two box set. He even called us later and played the theme music over our cell phones. Silly.

We met up with theMan’s dad and brother at the nursing home and had some laughs while visiting his Gramps. theMan’s little brother (who is turning 21, holy shit) is a great source of entertainment to me. He’s so witty, like his older brother. We even made plans for his 21st which include going to “titty bars that aren’t held in a pole barn.” We’ll see what we can do.

What followed though proved to be very interesting. We went to my bio-dad’s house for about 3 hours and just talked and talked and talked. I’ll go into that more in another post. The words “I will be a better grandpa than I was a father” and “you turned out great for what you went through” were thrown around and I can’t put into words how good that felt.

Mom’s x-mas was that night and my god, the woman can give gifts and cook. We got a load of stuff, even a juicer for theMan and you should have seen our car. More importantly than the stuff though was hanging out with my aunt, cousin, grandparents and mom for a long time and just talking. We even shared some hilarious stories about my cousin, Matt.

For instance, one time Matt stole his mom’s security badge and went down to Spooky Hallow and pulled a car over for fun. My aunt woke up the next day to the police at her door. He stole my Grandpa’s truck once and brought it back with a flat tire and mud and weeds covering it but refused to admit he did it for at least 2 days. He did however, fill the gas tank back up. He also did a “chalk body outline” in black light paint on their new carpet upstairs. Once, my grandfather mentioned shooting a cat that was getting in their yard. So, Matt did it for him. Not realizing it was our Aunt Debbie’s cat and that Gramps was being sarcastic. Sure, you might think these stories are the makings of a criminal but this is all standard Lewis family business. Stuff we laugh about, even while it’s happening. Stuff I know Matt is somewhere laughing about too.

So yea, we got a ton of stuff from people and we got to visit almost everyone we could. It was a good time.

A bonus was that my grandmother and I started comparing thyroid symptoms. It was as if finally someone could relate to why I was near-tears screaming about the pumpkin pie that overturned in our car the night before or when I sleep for 15 hours and still feel tired. I think it opened theMan's eyes too.

We came back to theMan puking non-stop all night so I helped him clean at the bar while Kaboom ran laps. I kinda wish we could be a husband-wife bar cleaning team. It's kinda fun! We have both spent most of our days on the couch since then.

How did Kaboom do at the spa? They didn’t get a chance to give him a bath but they gave me a free voucher to bring him back for it. Plus he’s been farting the most horrible smelling farts since he returned and his food bag didn’t look any emptier. I think they fed him something else that is making his ass explode with toxic fumes. He seemed to have fun though, like he missed hanging out with the other dogs when we brought him back. We kept him with us at all times the past 2 days to let him know we didn’t leave him for good and he’s repaid us with farts and cuddles. Can’t be beat.

So if you’ve made it this far in reading this post, there you have it. I swear I will be uploading more pictures than you care to look at tonight. Till then, I’m off to catch a nap in the company bathroom.