To Clarify

Yesterday's post was a bit...well...scathing wasn't it? I drove out of my hometown absolutely raging and that lasted well into this morning. Besides the overwhelming sadness of the death of my cousin, which permeates every place, person and thing in my hometown, my fiesty grandmother is being put into assisted living. I foolishly invited my mom to come along to the nursing home to see her because she was with me already while I put flowers at my mother-in-law's and cousin's graves. Why not right? What is the worst that could possibly happen with my mother in tow?

For starters, whem mom finds out that they are moving Grams stuff next weekend, Mom starts asking for furniture for me from my grandmother's house because "well, they are not going to need it in assisted living." When I mouthed to her to "shut the fuck up," she turned and laughed to my aunt saying, "Oh, she just doesn't like free stuff. But seriously, I'll pay you for whatever you give her?"

So there is my grandmother, fully concious and probably more than a little freaked out that she has to leave her home, having my mother pilfer through her things right in front of her like she's already dead.

Not to mention these are the side of my family that I feel very uncomfortable with asking for anything. It is my biological father's side and although I know my Grams loves me and has always been the best, I still have deep seated issues with asking for favors from that side. But besides that, I am 27 years old and can afford furniture if I want it. After spending the majority of my life proving to my father that I am fully capable of taking care of myself, there is mom, asking for hand-outs for me. She was refusing to let the issue drop and making me feel like taking a potato peeler to my skin to get out of there.

The rage didn't quite die down until, well, it still hasn't. So I'm sure you'll forgive me if I give a "Future Ex-Husband" shirt to her husband-to-be at the wedding this Friday, right?