No longer 26

Today is my 27th birthday.

Some STATS: 27 years old. Over a quarter of a century. 10 years from when I graduated high school. 5 years from when I graduated college. 7 years from when I got married. 11 years from when I lost my virginity. 10 years away from reproductive decline. 8 years from the age my mother had me at. 3 years left to describe myself as “20-something.”

26 things I learned over the last year:
1.) I cannot ever have too much time with my family.
2.) I can never have too much raspberry rum in my kitchen (See #1)
3.) I cannot eat an entire bag of sour punch straws like I did when I was 13 and not expect to puke.
4.) I cannot drink booze like I used too.
5.) I believe that is a very good thing.
6.) I’d rather cook for friends than go out to a restaurant.
7.) I didn’t know shit when I was 18.
8.) I will never be thin enough for the standards in my head.
9.) I don’t have to be.
10.) Dark chocolate is next to godliness.
11.) 8 hours of sleep can be better than sex, but one followed by the other is best.
12.) I have to take care of myself, first.
13.) There may be no distinction between friends and family. Friends just might not have seen me during the “perm” years.
14.) Blowjobs can be used not only as foreplay, but as a way to get your man to clean the shower.
15.) A pudgy little adorable monkey showed me I will be just fine as a mother someday.
16.) No matter how many times I reorganize the kitchen cabinets, I will never be as OCD as my “disinfecting of the doorknobs weekly with rubbing alcohol” sister.
17.) I love that I have a “disinfecting of the doorknobs weekly” sister.
18.) No one should be subjected to that much wood paneling and expect to function like a normal human being.
19.) If I haven’t used it in 6 months, throw it away.
20.) The above rule does not apply to shoes and handbags.
21.) A girl needs 3 men in her life, and a talented hair stylist is one of them.
22.) Calories do not count during your birthday week.
23.) If I sit facing backwards on the train, I can read without getting motion sickness.
24.) Birthdays should be celebrated for an entire week.
25.) I am as old as I feel.
26.) 27 should be a very good year.

Thanx to everyone in my life that makes me feel special on my day. You make life worth celebrating.