Therapy Scene 1, Act III

Do you know that commercial for diamonds on TV? This couple is standing in a courtyard and the guy starts screaming to everyone, “I Love this Woman!” She gets embarrassed and pulls him close, so he gives her a huge diamond ring and says, “I guess this will have to do.” Well, if I was sure of my therapist’s ring size, I’d reenact that sentiment. I love this woman, I really really love this woman.

Very eye-opening session today. Mostly personal details between my husband and I which I don’t think I’ll divulge on here, but I will say I think I’ve figured out a lot of our problems and how to deal with them. She opened my eyes and defined things I was feeling when I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I’m a person that likes things defined, especially of how I feel. Another part of my control anxiety I suppose. So it was just what I needed. Boundaries people, that’s my word for the year and she gave me a few more to set up.

Secondly, if I had a little chart for gold stars, I would have got one it seems. She said some very nice compliments about me which I want to put on “paper” to help me remember when I’m feeling a little blue. She said I was very smart and insightful. Also, since I was assertive and observant that I was a therapist genius. How about them apples? Maybe a career move? Hee hee.

She said that I have the power to look at myself and my actions and I have great consciousness about why I do the things I do. That I’m not in denial, I just need to set boundaries to not have them cycle. She said that when I figure out something, I apply it right away. Which honestly, I definitely feel like I’ve been doing. Especially this last week, which has been one of the more calmer weeks I've had. I’m feeling more in control and calm than really ever before. I suppose that’s another branch of my need to have things organized, even in my emotions.

When I told her that all I needed, it seems, was for her to tell me it was okay to take time for myself, that I thought about that several times this week and didn't even need to actually do it. Just the thought that it was okay if I did.

She even made me realize why I like our sessions. It’s one more area I control. There is a set time, a set date and amount of time and then it’s over. I know exactly what’s going to happen, and our relationship is defined, etc. She seemed to feel optimistic about me and god damn that was a nice feeling.

We even laughed a lot. Which if you know me, that is one thing I love to do.

So yea, another appointment next week. To that I say: keep em’ coming.