Vodka, you little bitch

I don't know what it is with my friends and their love of hard liquor. Last night went to Trader Todd's (Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds owns it!) on Belmont for what was suppose to be half off night. Turns out that doesn't apply when there is a Cubs game. So not only was it expensive but it was full of douchebags beating on the Golden Tee game and singing horrible kareoke (spelled?). So we retired to their pad for some vodka and good times until 3 a.m.

Feeling a little rough today although I didn't get too shitfaced. Mostly just the 3 hours of sleep thing. The GWO girlies are coming up Thursday night and I have yet to clean or get groceries for snackies. This should be interesting tonight, I have visions of me falling asleep mid-scrub of the shower.

Regardless, I cannot wait for them to get here. If we ever have to wait more than 3 months between visits, I think I'll lose my mind.

I gotta rant a little regarding my sister....it was a weird weekend underneath the good times. It was really fun and she was great but there was this underlying tension. Everyone sorta treats her like she's home from college and doing all these great things with her life. They give her money, praise, etc. and it seems like I get picked on for things I've done, even by her. And I know it was about her this weekend and I obviously don't expect them to shun her but I can't help but feel a little stupid jealousy. I mean, I don't get large amounts of money just given to me. Money that she doesn't really need since she was telling us about all the free clothes she gets. Mostly because I don't ask and hate taking it but still. No one pays my bills but me and if they did I would certainly kiss their ass, not shrug it off. And when I tell them about what I'm doing it's just not the same reaction. I mentioned this film I'm working really hard on and that I'm really excited about and they looked at me like I was losing it "Oh that's nice", then changed the subject.

I've actually had the phrase uttered to me regarding my sister, "Well, you were that way when you were her age." She's 2 years younger than me folks. And I've been doing a blog for the past year so you know how I was at least a year ago.

My sister is doing great but let's face reality folks: She was sentenced there, she had little choice but to follow the rules or be sent to prison. I'm glad, more than I can convey, that she is clean and doing well but this weekend just proved my point that the minute she goes back to her old life, not surrounded by Pentecostals, she will change completely. She hasn't dealt with her addictions, just switched the addiction. At the wedding someone told me they saw her smoking. She still acted a little like that old sister that expects the world handed to her. Mostly this is from me not completely forgiving her for the shit she put me through, I know that. And I don't know when that will happen either.

I don't know, I'm overly sensitive too. All I know is I'm glad I don't live closer sometimes. I like my life and my friends and my city and 150 miles is a good distance to keep my family and me on speaking terms.