My Dad Rules

Sunday is Father's Day and I find myself missing my dad oodles. Holidays are always great times to reflect so why not do a blog entry all for my Pops! You see I'm a special girl because I have 2 fathers. My biological one, Bill, who for reasons out of my control wasn't around a whole lot when I was growing up and then there is my Dad, Jim.

Now Bill, he's a good guy, don't get me wrong. I just don't think he ever really wanted to be a father. You see my mom got pregnant with me when they were very young, like 18 and he's never had any other children besides me. I'd say that was a pretty good indicator. I did find out that my mom drove all the way to Michigan to get an abortion but something told her not to do it once she got there so she turned around. I later found out that Bill called her and told her not too. So hey? That's something I've held on to.

Now I spent a lot of my childhood alternatively resenting him, missing him and longing for him to accept me. And yea, I was probably the statistical girl that grew up without a father so she looked for that in the men in her life, blah, blah, blah. Also, something I can deal with because, to be real, I'm certainly not alone in the world in that aspect.

It wasn't until recently I realized that I did get to see him growing up. He wasn't totally gone like some people's fathers and some of my favorite childhood memories come from being with my grandparents on that side, as well as Bill. He worried about me, he cares for me in his own way and I think now that I've grown up he can relate to me a little better. He's certainly been making an effort since I turned 20 and I'm tired of being mad at the whole situation. Plus, I do love him, he's my father. And besides, as a consolation prize, that's where Jim fits in, my Dad.

Dad (Jim) is my half-sister's biological father, as well as the father to my other half-brother, Chip (with a different mother) and the adoptive father to Chip's mom's son, Kevin. Need a flow chart? Don't worry, so does the rest of the outside world. Try to stay with me.

So anyways I have always liked to look at it like "somebody up there" knew I was an "only" child without a father around so they gave me one as a replacement pretty early in my childhood. Dad, nor his entire family, has ever, and I mean ever treated me like I was anything less than a blood relative. I cherish my grandparents on his side, as well as the rest of the extended family. They never cared for one second that I didn't look like them or have any DNA connection. In fact, it has never been brought up. And I certainly didn't feel any less loved by them, ever. And that family as well as my dad, well, they've always acted like they couldn't be more proud of me. I admit, I always get a little jump in my heart when I hear Dad introduce me as his daughter. He's never once said I am anything less. That is more important to me than I can properly convey in words. Something you guys with 2 parents take for granted, I know. But it's okay...it's right that you have a dad to call you his offspring. But it's extra special to me.

So anyways, I just wanted to make it public. Give the man a little credit. My mom & him didn't stay married past us being maybe 4 years old but he always stuck by me. He didn't have to. For that, he is owed way more than a blog entry. But he knows he has my undying gratitude. I just wanted to introduce him to you all.

Happy Father's Day, Dad!