Hey, buddy, spare some change?

There are a few things in this world that make my blood boil. One of which is not overly sensitive of me, at least to the general public. I hate homeless people asking me for money. Hate it. I don't care why they are homeless, I don't care who's fault it is, or if they have an addiction or not, or even if they are going to actually spend the change I do give them on food or alcohol. I can't stand to be asked for money by total strangers.

Is not that I hate homeless people, just the asking for money part.

Living in Chicago, I walk the homeless circuit everyday. Mostly, it's the same people asking for money. Occasionally I'll give one of them some food if I have it, or once, one cold winter's night I gave a guy that I see daily $5. It was almost Christmas and he always calls me "gorgeous" or "hot momma" when I walk by him. So I'm a whore for compliments, don't be so hypocritical.

If you want spare change, at least earn it. Do a dance, sing a ditty or park my car. Any of those will do really. And if you want to keep your homeless limbs, then don't, I repeat, DO NOT reach out and touch me to get my attention. Ever.

I realize that's mean or politically incorrect. But let's ask ourselves honestly, do you like being hassled everyday while you are walking to your job that you have to sit through for 8 hours? Besides, I'm pretty sure no homeless people read this blog so I'm not really offending anyone here folks.

Since I'm feeling partically grumpy today I'll go ahead and list some other things I hate (in no particular order):

-Patriotic songs...and I especially mean Lee Greenwood. It has nothing to do with America either. I just hate the songs, the arrangements and lyrics make bile creep up from my stomach into the back of my throat and I am instantly set on edge. It's almost the same reaction I get to that "Lean on Me" song or Barbara Streisand singing Christmas carols.

-Someone peeing or pooping while I am in the shower in the same bathroom.

-On that same note, band-aids left anywhere, but especially in the shower.

-Video games that don't feature cheat codes to get me out of the parts I have been stuck on for the last 3 months. (Good & Evil creators, this means you!)

-Pap smears

-Short people with umbrellas. This is simple logistics. I am tall and if it's raining, then I get to duck and weave and hope anyone shorter than me doesn't poke my eyes out with the points on their umbrellas.

-Wet combovers, or even better, with a little ponytail at the bottom of a mostly bald head.

-Seeing my co-workers underwear on accident, which I just did. Ugh.