Sex Toy Review: Remote Controlled Vibrating Thong

(Note: Listen to Busta Rhymes "Light that Ass on Fire" while reading this review. I can't explain it, but it helps.)

The basic structure of these knickers is a black thong with a leathery pouch on the front that a silver bullet vibrator is tucked into. The g-string part that goes up your crack is elastic, as well as the sides. The remote is a one button, small, irovy, non-descript remote with a switch that makes the bullet go from “on” to “off.” It also has a red light to let you know it’s on in case your partner is using it in a dark club or something I suppose. There is no in-between speed unfortunately, but fun enough to give you a little jolt if you keep turning it off and on fast.

The remote is reported to be able to work from up to 100 feet. The other fun thing is that if you have friends with these on, their remotes work yours as well. We tried these out at a theater one night with another couple. They sat on one side of the theater and we sat on the other with both of us ladies donning the hi-tech panties. I would be calmly sitting there talking to those around me and my crotch would go off. With a quick look I’d see them waving or smiling in our direction. So I’d elbow my husband and make him give her a jolt back as well. You can see how these would be quite a conversation starter at parties.

The panties are fortunately pretty quiet. Maybe if you were sitting on a metal folding chair, you might be able to hear some rattling coming from betwixt your nether regions. They are also pretty comfortable but a little bulky up front. You should also wear them over other underwear only because they are not really washable.



As far as uses go, the possibilities are endless. Here’s one idea from a fellow blogger...Slutboy-see Nov. 30 entry as well as Ms. Bedroom's account.

I can see using them at movie theaters, parties, bars, concerts, hell, even walking in the mall. Just give the remote to your partner or pass it around between strangers. I can see how half the fun would be knowing anyone, maybe even a stranger, at a particular event was making your undies jiggle. This might be an excellent way to surprise your partner too. Slip them on and hand him the remote right before you walk into your next big family dinner he/she’s been dreading!

In regards to sexual stimulation, I don’t think these knickers will get you off all by itself. The bullet is strong but it’s going through the leather pouch and whatever undies you wear underneath. Not all clitorises were created equal however, so to the more sensitive types (maybe the kind that can get off by a slight breeze perhaps?) these things might do the trick on their own. Plus the bullet is either off or full on, so not a lot of play in the speed.

These suckers are great, however, for turning you on. If anything just for the sheer naughtiness of them and that they can be used in public without fear of the actual public knowing what you are doing. I found they made me feel teased knowing that I wouldn’t actually get to "finish" until I got some place alone with Mr. Remote Holder. I haven’t ever got to hold the remote on someone but I would imagine it would be quite an event to turn them on while the panty-wearer was talking to a group of people, etc. I always felt like every time I felt those suckers go off I knew my partner was thinking about my naughty bits. To me, that’s solid gold baby in the turn on department.

However, the undies can feel like you have a contraption strapped to you so don’t go into it thinking it will be like you will forget you are wearing them until you get zapped.

Basic overall rating: 7 out of 10. Pros: Naughty and really fun way to liven things up. Range of remote and general comfort is a plus. Cons: Price is a little salty. Bullet, if left on, will probably leave you numb after about 10 minutes due to no speed controls. Don’t expect it to knock your socks off, just expect it to turn up the heat between you and the remote holder. Works every time. So why not?

Why not get a mirror why you're at it? Egads.