Gone Gone-dy

I'm off to Professional Assistant Day celebration today. Followed by some rock n' roll good times at the House of Blues with Dirt! Yay!

In my on-going pledge to stay sober (mostly) I present the following prayer to whatever deity resides over fate:

Dear Deity of the Day,
It is I, Kitten, your ever doubting and questioning follower here with yet another request. Oh, and by the way, thanks for that last one. Those shoes were in my size AND on sale! Anyways, today is the annual Professional Assistants Day and this year I'd like to refrain from duplicating last years antics. For Example:

-Telling my boss's friend that you can hardly notice the collegan injections she got in her lips and to prove my point, announcing her as "Lips" to the entire bar.

-Going head first in a cab with my skirt over my back side thus making my pantyhose covered ass point towards the table of people we just left in the restaurant.

-Having your husband tape you later that night when you finally do arrive home telling him "You'll suck him for a dollar."

So yea, Mr./Ms. Diety, you get my point. I am not yet strong enough to say no when my boss orders me one of everything on the drink menu, or when my co-workers drag me from my cab into Boys Town to cruise for dudes at a gay bar. And I am certainly not strong-willed enough to pass up a free anything!

So it is with great frevor that I ask of you to watch over the demons behind the bar. Let them water down my drinks as much as possible. And if anything, let me function enough to make it home tonight fully clothed.

Amen.