Happy Days are Here Again

Day 60/365 Project
Originally uploaded by MizVoid.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my sister a lot. Especially after being with her during her pregnancy. During my thinking sessions I realize something about her that I soooo covet. Sure, her metabolism comes up first and her straight white teeth and perfect vision is another factor that tries to jump to the front of the line…but more than that, I wish I had her faith.

Not in religion per se, but in herself. She has always known that she was worth whatever she asks for, for as long as I have known her. There’s never a question about whether or not she should ask someone to do something for her, it’s why wouldn’t they want too? I love that about her.

And with Coen it was the same thing. I’ve spent most of my life since I was very small making a plan for myself. Things I wanted to accomplish and ways in which I would live my life, mostly NOT live my life to get what I wanted. Guess what I got? Stressed out and high expectations I didn’t always meet. Sis? She seems to wing it and roll with the punches.

I’m sure I could blame my lack of a biological father or the weight of being the oldest child on some of that, but still….it’s a trait I wish I had more of. theMan & I get so freaked out (more me than him) about “what if’s” that we have to mentally tell ourselves to just enjoy the moment.

God I’m sick of that.