Bittersweet Symphony

So as you know from our previous post, the magnet implanted in our asses when we were born in our Hometown has been activated and we’re moving back next weekend. I go simultaneously from super excited to so melancholy I just have to go to sleep so I don’t run out in traffic.

When I think about the good stuff I get that butterfly in my stomach...
-The farm we’ll be helping with which will make my husband tan and even more buff, and hopefully me too.
-The landscaping I can spend my nights doing with my cousin so my sis will have a beautiful baby shower by September.
-My cousin/BFF...oh the shopping which will commence.
-The fire pit we’re going to build in our yard to eat supper by every night.
-The 5 minute commute on my bike which will put me home before 5:30 p.m. I haven’t seen my home at that time during the week in over 5 years.
-I can now sleep in until 8:00 a.m. every single morning!
-The pumpkin spice color I will be painting a wall in our bedroom.
-Speaking of bedrooms, we’ll have one...for just a bed, not a mini-apartment. HOLY SHIT!
-The nakedness in which we can partake in throughout the day.
-The dog house I’m going to build for Dr. Kaboom. Every mad scientist needs a lab.
-The possible babies and the making of the babies, oh my.
-The fact that my BIL is now related so he can never escape us, even if we move. (Now how can we make Jason related so he has to come to family dinners for the rest of his life?…..hmmmm. Wonder if my mom would adopt him?)
-How our social calendars are already filling up and now they don’t require a 3 hour drive to get to them anymore.

The bad stuff that makes me want to turn off my head and my heart...
-When one of my best friends sat across the table at my favorite café and said, “This is going to suck” when reminding me that we’ve spent almost every other day together for the past 7+ years.
-When theMan drove me to work this morning and that beautiful Chicago skyline stared back at us.
-When my sister’s belly popped out and I realized I won’t be taking weekly pictures of it anymore.
-When I think of the friends that we’re leaving that we’ve been spoiled by having them so near for so long.
-Our going away party on Sunday which I don’t want to have because it’s going to be underlined with sadness.

I can’t help it. I have so many people I love here in this city. It’s scary to move away from them because I don’t want our relationship to change. We’re going back into the arms of people that love us and who I can’t wait to see more, but the other half of my heart will always reside here in these people. It’s just a fact.

That being said, I do find myself dreaming of that yard, that cute little kitchen and the aisles of Home Depot where I can now buy paint and cabinet knobs and lighting fixtures. I’m yearning to ride on our riding lawnmower. These are things, and my desire to start a family, that make me know it’s time.