Calculating...

I'm going to start a store. A store called "PMS" and guess what it's for? It's for women during that special 1-2 weeks every month where they feel like they want to kill you and your first born if you don't stop standing in front of them on the train or calling into the office to see if the fax they just sent came through.....

But I digress. The store will sell chocolate, of course, mashed potatoes and salted products like chips and have huge couches and beds complete with vicodin IV drips for cramps and bloating and because, hell, why not. There will be random men tied to things so you can pelt them with soft bats. These men will also make spicy love to you even if it's "not a light day" because for some reason God, being a man, makes us VERY HORNY when we know we can't have the lovin's. As I say in my house, "we'll just put a towel down." Wow, that might be a good slogan for the business card.

Oh, and no cell phones will be allowed or I'll shove them up your ass.

Anyone feel like joining me?