Unrelated

3 things that happened that I want to share with you:

1.) My mom calls this morning while we are on the train (no one usually does this unless there is an emergency). She tells me "I have important news, are you sitting down?" And her tone was very somber. My heart starts racing, I'm mentally comprising a letter to my boss to get time off for a funeral, I'm calculating ages and health of all relatives, friends and family. The news? The important news she had to call me with this morning!?

She is cleaning out her closet.

My response: "You are fucked up mom." The guy standing next to us gave me the strangest look.

2.) Yesterday my boss calls from his vacation home screaming at me because our company website won't work on "AOL". I try double-checking he has the right address and explaining browsers, and basic internet functions but he's not hearing me. So he finally hangs up on me. My co-worker a cubicle over says loudly, "What are you trying to type in?" I thought she was talking to me so I yell, very loudly, "That stupid fucker doesn't know a thing about the internet!"

I walk to her cubicle and she's on the phone with my boss trying to talk him through it. Opps.

3.) My sister gave me a joke that causes us both to cry over the phone. Want to hear?

A guy walks into a pub and sits down up at the bar. He overhears someone say, "Wow, you look great tonight." The guy looks around and notices it's pretty empty in the pub. Then he overhears someone say, "That's a great shirt." Again, he can't figure out where it's coming from until he looks at the bar and notices it's coming from a bowl of nuts.

Just then the bartender comes over so the guy asks him about the bowl of peanuts. The bartender says, "Oh, those peanuts are complimentary."

MUUUHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH