Why did I wait?

Just got back from my first hour long therapy session and wow! Can I just say, WOW!

In a nutshell, she said she wanted to work on boundaries with me, setting them up, etc. and that she thinks therapy is definitely something that can help me. And that it might be good to spend an hour a week totally on myself. First thing to work on this week, noticing and labeling my thoughts. If I start to feel guilty, tell myself, "I am feeling really guilty right now." So it will stop the cycle of further negative thoughts. As well as some other things, which I'll keep private for now.

The best part, I didn't have to tell her my hesitation on using medication. Although for a brief second I wanted something to make me feel better instantly. Even though I know that is not how it works. She didn't prescribe any but gave me some relaxation techniques, a CD to listen to before bed and some guided imagery meditation practices. Right up my alley, actually. And a plan for the next few visits.

At first I feared for a second she'd tell me what I was feeling was normal, I needed to just knock it off and get on with life. I seriously was afraid she'd turn me away. Of course she didn't. I let out a big ol' sigh when she scheduled me another appointment next week.

Basically, I feel good about this. *exhale*