Create your own story! It's kinda weird how it turns out.

The Christmas Bloody Rectum

Nobody down at the station was expecting THAT Christmas present. This year, like every other, they all put in a small gift, wrote names on pieces of paper and drew out the corresponding present.
"What did you get Sarge?" Asked Carol.
"EGADS!! Gov, You'd better take a look at this." There was a severed bloody rectum and a note, which read, 'You're next.'
Big John Simmons, who was very drunk and was attempting to remove and photocopy the duty solicitor's leather glove, started dancing round the photocopier shouting. "Anyone lost this bloody rectum?"
"Not funny, Big John Simmons", said Carol, "okay everybody, party’s over.."
"EGADS!! It's Kay Sadilla's bloody rectum," gasped young Bill (Old Bill's son), "I'd know that itty bitty bloody rectum anywhere."
"Tony, can you take a look at this," said Carol, "this shitty business is top priority. Any ideas?"
On closer inspection Tony finds a small part of an airfix modeling kit stuck to the bloody rectum.
"Humm, If I’m not mistaken, this is the rear tip of a 1942 Lancaster bomber, these little bits stick to anything but what they're supposed to. Looks to me like our killer used a modeling table to lay the body out on."
"What can you tell us about the killer Tony?" Asks Carol.
"Age, between 45 and 60, bit of a loner or trapped in a bad relationship, needs to be in control but feels like everything is falling apart. You’ll probably find the mamaw hands used to kill Kay Sadilla is, like as not, back in its place in an 'Ikea' storage solution. Also, the killer spends much of their limited spare time at your mom's. Losing the rear tip of the Lancaster could be what tipped them over the edge.."
"Any idea what the this individual does for a living?" askes Carol.
"Police officer"
"Are you sure?"
"Quite sure, if you look at the note you’ll see that it is written on police internal memo paper from this very station!"
"Young Bill," says Carol, "go and get that newly trained police Saber Tooth Tiger, it’s time to put it to the test."
The Saber Tooth Tiger went straight to Big John Simmons and indicated strongly that this was the killer.
"How on earth?" said Young Bill.
"Simple, it's the smell of the airfix glue," said Tony. "It never goes away"
"You’ll never make it stick!" shouts Big John Simmons.

THE END