Guess my new double dong will be late getting here.

Post Office Evacuated For Vibrating Package ... Uh, Oh!
Addressee To Be Notified Why X-Rated Stuff Didn't Arrive

LILBURN, Ga -- A post office and surrounding area were evacuated after a mail carrier came across a suspicious, vibrating package. X-rays soon revealed the box to be X-rated.

U.S. Postal Service spokesman Michael Miles said the package aroused suspicion from a carrier and his supervisor, who took the priority-listed mail into the parking lot and called police. The Gwinnett County bomb squad, U.S. Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms and the Gwinnett County Fire Department evacuated the building and the parking lot Wednesday and shut down a nearby street. A high-tech robot was sent in to pick up the package and X-ray it. The X-ray showed wires and objects, Miles said. When it was opened, authorities found adult toys, including a vibrator and massage oil. The resident to whom the package was addressed will be notified of what happened, but will not be prosecuted. "Since these are all legal items, we won't be doing any follow-up investigation," police spokesman Cpl. Dan Huggins said.