Artist's Rendering

If there is one trait that I love about myself, it's my ability to go all MacGuyver at a moment's notice. Basically, I know how to make a bomb with only a tampon, a paperclip and some string. So just try to lock me up in an office supply closet you bad bad terrorists!

I have space in my brain alloted to phone numbers of hospitals and florists, the merits of super glue vs. glue guns, tubs of googly eyes for no reason other than I guess emergency doll fixing, I've been trained in 40-Hour HazMat Response to clean up chemical spills and I used to know how to hot wire a car, although I feel like I might be rusty at that now. (Thanks dad...a trick every girl should know, but I'm just not sure why.)

All of this helps me to be a rock-star Art Director back in the day, the person to go too if there needs to be a lot of food and a lot of space in a short amount of time, and so far, a decent wedding planner. I only mention this because I wondered if this was one trait I got from my bio-dad besides my huge tits at age 13, and my blonde hair. (Bio-dad doesn't have huge tits, but my aunt on that side had breast reduction surgery as well.)

Side note: Do you guys ever try to figure out what traits you got from whom? I'm endlessly fascinated with this. I think it's because I didn't have both parents in the same house or something. Eeeep...best not to dig to deep into that one.

I figured I got my "good in a crisis/answer to any problem" trait from him too. Until this morning. You see, I'm sorta Command Central for the upcoming nuptials but mom is doing most of the leg work. It's been mostly smooth but at 7:30 a.m. this morning, only days before the wedding, the organist was MIA. Within 10 minutes and before I could get off the train, she had another pianist lined up (she had the number memorized) and crisis averted.

My heart was warmed...I am my mother's daughter.

I could end this heartwarming tale here, but I have to tell you what else she did that made me question whether I was actually adopted. She calls last night panic-stricken, while we were a the tux shop mind you, and tells me that a tree has fallen on her truck in the storms we were having. The truck had all of the food for the recpetion in it as well as the plates, glasses, etc. It was ruined and she didn't know what to do and she was near tears. She tells Sis the same thing and all Sis could do was drop the phone. Then I got back on and she said, "April Fool's." I called her a "bitch" and hung up and laughed until I cried. Then I called her back and we laughed some more.

No, now that I think about it, I'm probably all hers.