So long...

2009-11-25T09:49:00.000-06:00

It’s been so long. I’m sorry. It’s been a whirlwind of maternity leave, going back to work, dieting, not dieting, caring for the baby, feeding baby, making baby food, fighting depression, visiting family, smelling her neck, finding balance...that honestly, I haven’t felt in the least bit creative. Especially writing here.

This explains so much

2009-08-31T14:21:00.005-05:00

I went to my general doctor today as a follow up appointment to my PPD appointment 3 weeks ago. I was telling him that being mentally clear has helped me to deal with the grieving I had to do over my labor and delivery. The emergency c-section, inducing, horrible recovery, etc. After telling my story he looked at me very sternly and confirmed that I was under-medicated for my c-section. I should

God I'm boring even myself

2009-08-20T19:07:00.002-05:00

I'm so just...well, writer's block I guess. The days are a blur of working crazy hours, coming home, taking care of the babes, falling asleep early after trying to read. I'm actually doing pretty decent. I'm reading a fabulous book: How to Be Free in an Unfree World, by Harry Brown. HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS.It's basically lifting my fog, well...that and Wellbutrin. ;)I've also joined a lady at

Listing

2009-08-06T03:09:00.006-05:00

I'm having a little setback here in these parts. As you can see from the time stamp, it's 3:09 a.m. when I'm starting this. The pregnancy insomnia never left I guess. I also cried on the train yesterday. Sigh.Soooo that being said, I'm finding a therapist tomorrow morning. I have numbers, programs for free sessions, you name it. I'm nervous because well, I don't know, that I'll be never be

Week One of Wellbutrin

2009-08-03T20:27:00.003-05:00

My goodness what a difference I feel. How do I know? I clipped my daughter's finger with her nail clippers Sunday night, it bled, she bawled but I didn't. I comforted her, apologized and got her to calm down and only thought very very very briefly about being a shitty mom.This is progress.I still feel a little disconnected from people. A lot less tolerant. I wonder how much of that is just

Wellbutrin, I love you

2009-07-26T21:37:00.004-05:00

After 4 grueling, ever worsening months of PPD I finally went to the doctor Friday to discuss some options.I feel like I'm under water, like I can't laugh or be completely light. I feel heavy. I sleep 8 hours yet I'm still exhausted. I cry for no reason. In fact, I cried in the doctor's office waiting room.If I sit peacefully and stare into space my thoughts immediately go to doom, gloom and

Boys, please turn away now

2009-06-30T12:48:00.005-05:00

I've decided to make a few lists. One will be things no one told me that I wish I knew when I was pregnant and the other, things that weren't really a big deal that I thought would be.So here goes....First, things no one told me that I wish I would have known:(Ladies, you like to keep secrets don't you?)1.) You might not think about your period much while pregnant, even though that sounded like a

3 Month Milestone

2009-06-25T22:37:00.002-05:00

Whew. There, that was me giving a sigh of relief. I had several very smart women tell me that the 3 month mark was a major milestone in feeling 100% better and they were right. It was like I woke up on Father's Day a new person. I asked for what I needed from my husband, my girl started cooing and almost giggling, and I finally found my groove.I even got a sweet raise and awesome review at

3 Weeks In...

2009-06-17T11:28:00.006-05:00

3 weeks back to work and well, it's fine. It's absolutely perfectly and eerily fine.I haven't cried once. I haven't felt guilty other than feeling guilty I don't feel guilty. I miss her like all hell on Mondays after weekends of getting back into her routine, but I'm good. Although today after she woke up all happy and cooing, I am feeling the sting more. I enjoy my commute (uninterrupted reading

Holy hell where did the time go?

2009-05-19T18:58:00.003-05:00

Wow. I missed this. I missed writing freely about what I was thinking and feeling. But I've been on maternity leave, apparently from this blog too. My apologies to any readers I even had.I'm back though and after 8 weeks I figured out I need to write. Desperately. You see, I've been so blessed with an absolutely gorgeous, easy, funny daughter who loves me very much and vice versa. A little

Meet Adelaide

2009-03-30T13:39:00.001-05:00

Adelaide MaevaMarch 23, 20097 lbs. 12 oz.5:06 p.m.My god, I'm in heaven. (More soon, need to find some time!)

It's time!

2009-03-22T12:19:00.002-05:00

Okay, after more sleep I am in a waaaayyyy better headspace. Packing, updating baby books, charging electronics....looks like we're all set!So surreal though. It feels like a mixture of getting ready for vacation and I don't know what. Feeling just fine, no contractions or anything and full of nervous energy. Feet and hands are swollen and ache, but I managed to clean the apartment and pack.

4:30 a.m.

2009-03-22T05:08:00.002-05:00

Okay, um yea, the freaking out has sorta commenced. I can't sleep, which really? A last night fitting for a pregnancy full of early morning awakeness. And I'm longing for my girlfriends and wine and I keep staring at the co-sleeper like "holy crap." I also haven't sterilized any bottles or cleaned the house but I'm so glad because it's busy work I can do later today after I wake up again. I

24 More Hours

2009-03-21T20:47:00.002-05:00

Well...here we are. A little over 24 hours until we head to the hospital, on our last night at our apartment alone without a kid. Tomorrow at this time I imagine we'll both be freaking out a bit and watching the clock. Tonight, eh, we're going to settle in, watch a movie and catch some zzzz's.Our last Saturday kid-less was spent with friends at their photo studio, a walk on the beach and then

Squatter Baby

2009-03-19T13:44:00.003-05:00

My last prenatal appointment!Just an update.....Cervix is still soft but closed, no changes, no dilation and she's still high (no effacing). Basically, my junk is like Fort Knox. Also figured out why they are doing Sunday night induction so late. Dr. V's plan is Sunday night at 10:30 they are going to insert a balloon to try to dilate me manually without cervix softeners (she kept stressing

Another hospital visit

2009-03-18T15:30:00.001-05:00

Yesterday was interesting. I woke up at 4:00 a.m. and hadn't felt her move. Downed some OJ, jiggled my belly and 2 hours later still nothing, so called doc. She said, bring yourself in. When we got there her heartbeat was fine but still not feeling her move. So they monitored me for over an hour then said, "let's do an ultrasound to check fluid." 1st U/S said I had barely any fluid and they were

Thanks Addie!

2009-03-16T10:06:00.002-05:00

I must thank my kid for something though. Yes, one for sticking around and being healthy and being pretty awesome to me during this pregnancy. BUT bonus, becase she stayed in through most of March we were able to have a month of no car payment to use that money to finish paying off all our bills and put a ton in savings.Maybe she's more like her momma after all. Although, being late, that's

God I'm so pregnant

2009-03-15T16:54:00.003-05:00

I've done it. I reached 40/41 Weeks of pregnancy, or as I like to call it "why the hell was I so nervous in the beginning." My last week of pregnancy. No signs of labor and yes, we've tried everything. SO....well, not much to do. This weekend we had zero plans. We just sorta sat around and looked at each other because honestly, we kept it open because we thought we'd have a newborn! So we

Drop it like it's hot!

2009-03-12T18:52:00.004-05:00

Here’s the deal and I didn't have to lose too much of my dignity: -Baby is “way lower and working her way down there” – direct quote -However, no dilation, still. -BUT, cervix is “way way way, softer than the last time” – direct quote -Blood pressure is perfect, baby is great and I only gained 1 lb. (so swelling doesn't seem to be pre-eclampsia, which I sorta worry about) Also weird thing

Induction into the Hall of Vajango

2009-03-11T19:07:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow is my 40 week doctor appointment. They told me at my last one I should get some sort of plan for how long we're going to let this go on. In my soft focus dreamworld of labor I didn't include Pitocin or anything, but seriously I'll get over it. Quickly. There, look, I'm over it.The docs don't like to induce until the last possible option, so I'm wondering if they are going to "strip

Nursery

2009-03-08T22:39:00.005-05:00

Despite some people's lack of trust for me making our biggest closet work as a nursery, I freaking did it. (Hi honey!)You see, we live in a 600 sq. ft. apartment in Chicago. It's technically 2 bedrooms but one of which is our dining room/work space which we really can't give up. Coupled with a chest freezer to store breast milk and a bedroom that can barely hold our mismatched set of furniture

Jon Stewart....

2009-03-07T10:26:00.003-06:00

You are a god damn genius: http://www.dailyfinance.com/2009/03/05/jon-stewart-gives-scathing-cnbc-critique/.Watch the video, trust me. If anything, just for the ending.

Nada, Zilch

2009-03-06T20:47:00.003-06:00

Doctor's verdict: No progress, she hasn't even dropped/engaged, no dilation whatsover, nothing. So they are still going with my due date of 3/15/09 based on that ultrasound at 7 weeks, and said they will wait a week after that to talk about inducing. I have an appointment next Thursday (3/12) and then a decision on a date will be made.I’m going to just keep working until my due date, even

Due Date Eve

2009-03-06T00:04:00.002-06:00

Due date eve today. All day it felt like "okay, when we get home from work we'll start contractions and get this show on the road. But let's get dinner first." So we did. Went to our little cafe and had an amazing dinner complete with rich chocolate cookie and tea for me, coffee for poppa. Then climbed a bus and went home and analyzed every twinge and pang while I read every labor story I

Superstitious

2009-03-01T17:31:00.002-06:00

I know, I know. Mostly I'm all zen about this weekend and her upcoming birth. I keep saying "She'll come when she's ready." "Oh those contractions, they are nothing until I can't take it anymore." "I probably just have to crap again."But let me tell you, I keep hoping every single twang and pain in my lower extremities is this starting. It's not that I want her out but that after reading

9 1/2

2009-02-28T10:04:00.003-06:00

Oh Hai! Still here, still pregnant and still feeling a little "eh". Week ago I was like "GET OUT KID!" This week, after a good doctor visit and revisiting our labor manuals, I'm sorta okay with her staying in there. At least I know that while I can't see it, my undercarriage is still intact.My co-workers have been awesome. People have brought me spicy chili, chocolates and yesterday we threw

Labia Lamentations

2009-02-15T11:44:00.005-06:00

Even though I'll probably want complete silence, no touching and I will be a ravenous she-beast, I'm still making some CDs to take to the hospital to utilize the bitchin' Bose surround system.I figure we hardly ever enter our place without immediately turning on iTunes and filling every room, all day long with music. I may want some comforts of home, even while my vagina is telling herself she's

Contractions

2009-02-14T22:56:00.002-06:00

I'm 36 Weeks (tomorrow) and one week from full-term. Been having pretty painful decent contractions the last 2 days, even had some early in the day today after cleaning. Walking around Target last night resulted in stopping every couple aisles to get through it. Stopped this a.m. though!theMan & I went to collect some of the last items on the list for the baby since I over-budgeted for paying

Still here!

2009-02-12T18:33:00.002-06:00

Dang it. This is beautiful: 40 Years Later.With every passing day I'm getting more uncomfy, more heartburn, more feet swelling and Addie is punching harder and harder. It's like the great build-up!I'm trying to get things in order at work but I'll be honest, my head is not in the game. I spent my lunch hour looking up formulas, signing up for samples and such, and then ate leftover pizza in

35 Weeks 3 Days

2009-02-10T11:03:00.002-06:00

Had my first “internal” and honestly, it wasn’t awful. I’m not dilated, at least nothing she reported on and Addie isn’t “engaged” but she is head down (got to see her on ultrasound). Thank goodness! At first Dr. V. couldnt' feel her head from my cervix so I was nervous she was still breech. Good job Addie!WOO HOOO! So I'm still thinking this baby is hanging out until March 1st-ish. She did

Mommy Wars

2009-02-08T20:19:00.005-06:00

Hi! Quick note: 35 weeks today...feeling like my vagina is falling out and I get about 3 hours sleep a night, but you know what....she's easier and cheaper to care for inside, so I'm not rushing it. Plus, snow has melted. WOOO HOOO!! Really hard to complain. Also, no further visits to the hospital.On that note: And, just because no one told me...apparently you can PEE YOUR GOD DAMN PANTS

Trial run

2009-02-02T20:08:00.002-06:00

Went to the hospital today, triage in Labor & Delivery, because I was experiencing some "water breaking" signs. Probably a good sign that I'm not in labor is that I couldn't stop laughing.So I thought my water broke last night. I came home from the Chicago baby shower (which was AMAZING, more on that later) and went straight to my sister's to babysit Yorke & visit with Mom. Yorke was asleep on

It's my party

2009-01-29T13:25:00.003-06:00

Wow. Um. Apparently I AM doing too much. My body is shutting down via an emotional breakdown apparently. Last night the minute I left work I just felt sad and anxious and miserable emotionally. theMan got me out of the house and to an Olive Garden STAT (yes, we're a little redneck still) which was really nice. Then we went and wandered around Borders, where I haggled a saleslady about a

The Final Countdown

2009-01-27T20:58:00.005-06:00

Had my final "2 week" appointment today, now I'm going into the every week ones where they start fishing around in the va-jayge. I will say, I'm pleasantly surprised at the total lack of "fishing around" they have done. I figured pregnancy was 9 months of fisting, but so not the case. A little in the beginning and a whole lot the last month then one final BIG OLD FISTING FROM WITHIN and presto

Obama

2009-01-23T19:45:00.004-06:00

I haven't blogged about the inauguration yet and I have no reason other than brain mush. For the first time in my history I watched the entire event, speeches you name it, and was absolutely and completely filled with hope.I'm not the most eloquent of people when describing big events and how they shape me, but these pictures do that for me. All I know is I watched this race closely and Tuesday

Edu-ma-cated

2009-01-18T20:37:00.002-06:00

Here is what we learned at the class today. I loved it and both left feeling so prepared! Plus we got cookies. HELLO!!?!?!1.) We can have 4 people in the room at all times during labor (not sure on delivery exactly). HOWEVER, if anyone drives me nuts, the nurses promised to lie and make 4 become 3.2.) It's freaking swanky and the rooms are HUGE!!! They have these awesome flat screens, views of

Ergo, my apologies

2009-01-17T11:30:00.002-06:00

Thanks to Bill for the swanky Ergo carrier with hood! Chucky loves it!Slowly collecting everything we need for this kid. We even have one more baby shower coming up! Everyone has just been so generous with the very high quality hand-me-downs to gifts to just love and support. If there is one thing I want Addie to know is how much she was loved before we even met her.Tomorrow is our birthing

Sorry, I Twittered

2009-01-14T19:30:00.002-06:00

My husband has been all a'Twitter for months now, usually the one of us on the up and up of the hipster stuff online. So I thought I'd join him.I can't promise there will be anything of note on there, but hell, why not. Updates will be in the sidebar.You should too!

theMan is truly, the Man

2009-01-11T01:17:00.004-06:00

My husband...oh...where do I start. If he isn't shoveling 40 inches of snow, carrying all of the groceries up, doing all of the laundry, or not making me feel bad about milkshakes for breakfast...he's snuggling up to me to feel our daughter move every single morning and night. I always knew I wanted children with this man, but I never guessed the magnitude of actually having one, and how it

Contractions

2009-01-08T11:57:00.002-06:00

So apparently I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions for the past month off and on. I had no idea! Man, compared to my seriously nervous and worried every single second first trimester I have turned into a "eh, when I see the baby's head, then I'll freak" sorta gal.Not that I should have freaked, they went away and never lasted more than an hour, but wow! I had no idea! Basically my

2009 Goals

2009-01-04T20:46:00.004-06:00

First things first...a recap of 2008 Goals:1.) Be debt free by 30. I want to owe no one by August and then I want to start saving for Italy and who knows, maybe a house.2009 Update: Okay, well, no Italy obviously and no house, but I'm only about 6 months off being debt free by 30. Plus, my goal kinda got updated when we got pregnant....so now it's be debt free by March 2009 and with the

Boobs and such

2009-01-03T21:35:00.005-06:00

In the spring of 1996, my senior year of high school, I had a breast reduction. At the time it was the best decision I ever made for myself, and frankly, still is. I could take dance, I could wear shirts under an XXL, I could buy bras that didn't just come in beige and circus tent size. In short, I could feel like a girl. (Although the scarring made me retire my career of flashing passing

Good-bye 2008

2008-12-31T13:28:00.011-06:00

2008, will forever be one of the best years of my life. I would imagine until around oh, March 2009, but still...it was hard to beat. Some highlights:-Finding out we were having a baby on 7/4/08-Successful media cleanse which opened my eyes so much on 3/24/08-Started our cemetery tour in Chicago and surrounding areas and as a result, have developed my photography and processing skills because

Vacation All I Ever Wanted

2008-12-28T20:45:00.004-06:00

I rarely take more than a few days off from work here and there, but this time I decided to take a full week at Christmas just to unwind and not commute in this shitty weather. Let me tell you, it was so worth it. In fact, I've already put in for 2 weeks next year at x-mas just to expand the goodness. Only next year it will be with Adelaide in the mix.The only thing I didn't get done was to

M.I.A.

2008-12-26T20:03:00.005-06:00

I'm sorry, mostly to the 3 people that probably read this blog, but I feel like I've had 1,000 blog posts running around my head but no gumption to get them down here! I haven't even told you about the beautiful, emotional baby shower my best friends threw us!! It had a chocolate and cheeseball theme for Buddah sake! How for the first time in Christmas history I had a lovely time with both my

Christmas Cookies

2008-12-23T18:37:00.000-06:00

I'm trying to decide on a Christmas cookie recipe to make tomorrow with my sister & nephew....so far I've only got my oatmeal chocolate chip recipe, but I feel like it should have peppermint in it.Hmmm....(Editor note: Took down the post about farting during sex. Enough said on that really. :) )

More tales from 4:00 a.m.

2008-12-15T04:32:00.004-06:00

I don't think ever in my life have I seen this much of 4:00 a.m. Especially sober and wide awake for no reason. I'd be really good at being a party girl minus the back ache and sobriety.But hey, while I'm up I might as well update this little space of mine. I've wanted to discuss something for a long time now, but it feels odd or jinx-y to do it. Basically, I have to admit something that

Leaving on a train

2008-12-05T23:08:00.004-06:00

After giving our niece & nephew a much deserved smooch session, I'm now home packing for our weekend to Indiana for our first baby shower. Still cannot believe 1.) I'm even having a baby and 2.) people I love are throwing us a party for it. I am promised 3 tiers of chocolate cake, a soak in a huge bath tub and plenty of smooches for my Gracie-Monkey and Luke while their momma and other auntie

24 Week Appointment

2008-12-02T14:57:00.003-06:00

Everything was good! Started out hearing the heartbeat (my favorite thing ever). Only dry heaved once at my desk while drinking the glucose (sorry to cube mates), I didn't pee on my hand or hose down the bathroom floor during the urine sample, and Dr. V said pains are normal and to keep drinking water. She asked about any spotting (none) and the blood test kinda hurt but over fast. They

Baby Daddy

2008-11-30T22:07:00.003-06:00

My god....Thanksgiving I love you in all your turkey and cranberry sauce glory. We went down to HomeTownVille, IN on Thursday for a brief tour of theMan's grandma and my Grams at the nursing home.It was so nice. My belly is all big and round so it was fun for everyone who hasn't seen us in awhile to see it and us. Plus the following words were said aloud in conversation at the dinner table: "

Jacked Up

2008-11-25T20:10:00.002-06:00

Sorry about the jacked up blog background. My tech support assures me it will be fixed soon. (Hint hint theMan!)I also realized I never linked to the awesome photos my man got of our ultrasound appointment when we found out it was a girl! Doh! Here you go! I think they are absolutely beautiful and I'm so stoked I have him capturing this journey we're trekking on.So this week is Thanksgiving

Almost there

2008-11-19T19:21:00.003-06:00

I'm about a week and a 1/2 away from my third trimester starting. So far this pregnancy has been pretty easy going. I mean, yea, it was a rough beginning with the hormones and 45 ultrasounds and weird pains around 14 weeks for a weekend, but honestly...knowing how hard my sister and friends have had it, I feel so blessed and lucky and have really enjoyed every bit of it.However, my back has

Diaper Cake Fo-Shizzle

2008-11-18T15:40:00.002-06:00

Not sure if I ever mentioned this, but one of my diaper cakes is now up at parenting.com. Even a quote and a photo credit for my man. Kinda surreal yet, hey...they were a ton of work so I'm glad more people get to see them! ha ha

No idea

2008-11-17T20:08:00.003-06:00

No freaking idea why my body wanted me up and alert so early last week. I assume the kid just absolutely had to see stupid videos on www.youtube.com or finally finish "Singles" that we got in the dollar bin at 4:30 a.m. I am going to just go out on a limb and say she took a quiet nap in my arm or something far away from the no-no hole when I woke up theMan for some lovin.(Hey, it was 5:00 a.m.

3:00 a.m.

2008-11-13T05:01:00.000-06:00

Who, me? Is that who woke up wide awake at 3:00 a.m. and is now sitting in her dark living room eating cocoa wheats in her robe still at 5:00?Yes. Yes, that would be me.

Birthing Videos

2008-11-10T20:13:00.008-06:00

Okay, apparently there are ways to spend a Monday night that doesn't include you holding your vagina and promising to buy it flowers in the very near future. Also, I'm moving to Belgium before March.In trying to educate myself and see if what I'd like is what I can do...I thought I'd go to youtube.com. EEEEP. Let's go down the list (warning: some, while it's nature, aren't safe for work).How

1,500 Post

2008-11-08T12:25:00.001-06:00

Appointment on 11/6...everything is fine and they got pics of the heart! The tech called Addie a little sh*t b/c she wouldn't budge. Still laying in the same position (head up on right side) breech. Thought I was going to have to come back again next week (they graciously said if I had to come back, they wouldn't charge me--look at my kid already getting me deals!!).I knew she didn’t move, I

Oh thank goodness

2008-11-05T08:39:00.003-06:00

Whew.What was an exhausting and long and somewhat annoying election season is now at an end, and with a result I am mos excited about. However, the pictures of people celebrating around the country here have me tearing up.Biggest voter turnout since women won the right to vote. Way to go human race. Way to go.

Steel Magnolias is relevant in every conversation

2008-11-03T14:53:00.002-06:00

...and here's proof. Email chain from work:Co-Worker: I wonder if we have a voting code on our time sheet so we don’t have to take PTO. I seem to remember seeing that, or maybe that was my old gig. I could be mistaking one gig for the other. Me: Not sure.Co-Worker: You know, most of my friends and siblings are getting out of work at 3—pretty much the whole city is shutting down. We are staying

Just do it

2008-11-02T08:17:00.001-06:00

We're having a girl!

2008-10-30T13:49:00.003-05:00

It's a girl!!! We've having a perfect little girl!!Oh my god, it has been an amazing week!!! Today we had an almost 2 hour ultrasound to just stare at our little puncher.We saw toes, fingers, belly, profile, her mouth open, legs, kidneys, her eyes, the whole she-bang!! I have movies and pics on the DVD-R so I will get some uploaded tonight. She was laying so her little tushie was up in the air

She's here!

2008-10-29T16:21:00.002-05:00

I am now the proud Auntie of a new niece, Yorke Thessaly, 5 lb. 15 oz. and absolutely gorgeous!This week with my nephew has been wonderful as well. Even though he's been sick and didn't sleep well the first night, he wants to cuddle with me and laugh and I just feel so lucky to be his aunt. I can only imagine motherhood is 500 times better, but it's hard to imagine anything being cooler than

Welcome new baby

2008-10-26T19:59:00.004-05:00

This weekend I was lucky enough to help take the nephew out trick-or-treating in the Square. He was so cute and clearly the best Batman there. He also picked up on the getting candy fairly quick for being 2. Stinker.Posting may be light this week as I'm staying with my nephew to care for him full time while my sister has her new baby! Yay! Expect adorable newborn pics shortly.In pregnancy

Budgeting, Be Damned

2008-10-15T08:17:00.006-05:00

Emily from "Not that You Asked" has put up a great post about how to live on a budget, or well, possibly a little "please help us live on a budget" discussion. Either way it's a great post, the commenters are very helpful, and the subject is something very near and dear to my heart.As I've mentioned a few times here and there on this blog, we have followed the Dave Ramsey snowball way since

Beautiful

2008-10-11T20:29:00.004-05:00

There is something so stunningly beautiful about the photo of Angelina Jolie on the cover of W magazine, taken by Brad Pitt that I cannot help but comment. I believe it has something to do with her genuine smile, that she is breastfeeding (possibly) her child, that it was taken by her lover. …but it’s not a technically great photo and guess what, it doesn’t matter. This is the type of moment I

28?!?!

2008-10-09T15:35:00.003-05:00

If you see this lady, before giving her your wallet...wish her a happy birthday!Love you Sis!

Only in the Midwest

2008-10-07T16:03:00.001-05:00

Can you go to a friend's house to pick up some used baby stuff to also be offered a "home-beer-brewing" kit as well.I love my life.

Zeitgeist

2008-10-06T11:29:00.000-05:00

Highly recommend watching either of these, more specifically the “The Addendum” one, as it addresses the current financial situation of the world and our culture, etc. of profits and corruption. VERY VERY awesome.Check back to site for the free download.http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/statement.htm*End soapbox rant*

Urine Sample

2008-10-03T11:05:00.002-05:00

16 week appointment today. Baby is fine, heartbeat was 149 and still way down there by my pubes. Also she said she was glad to hear I was feeling the "honeymoon" period of the second trimester (i.e. no more nausea, sleepiness, etc.).She said my weight was fine, just keep an eye on it. When she said I should keep total gain around 15 I nearly cried but she said that doesn’t take into account

Survival Kit

2008-10-01T09:21:00.006-05:00

Sorry to leave you so long with that depressing entry. I ended up getting laid, fantastically (sorry parents if you are reading this), and had a great GWO to boot since that downward spiral. I highly recommend getting together with your girlfriends, giving yourselves pedicures and teasing your hair like it's the early 90's. You won't stop laughing. Especially with booze involved.I also highly

The Future of My Moods

2008-09-23T14:37:00.003-05:00

Lately, and with some good reason but sometimes not, I've been pretty low. Moody and just want to be alone. I'm happy with the pregnancy, it's been relatively easy, and can't wait to start planning and see this little fella/gal, but I feel so distant in the here and now.On top of being tired and big and round, I just exist. I'm so distracted at work, that when I used to be their brain, my bosses

Tired

2008-09-19T21:54:00.004-05:00

Today was just one of those days. I was exhausted all day and completely pregnancy loopy. Got all the way down our 3 flights of stairs before thinking "um, did I lock the door?"At work I had to figure out some expenses involving airline credits and change fees. Yea...might want to check those over again on Monday.I think I'm going to bed. Night all.

Now my thyroid kicks in?

2008-09-16T10:43:00.005-05:00

While I adore my doctor and she's so cute I just want ot squeeze her, plus she calls me back almost instantly with all my 10,000 questions, my doctor appointments have sorta been a little...um, what's the word: scattered.I had to switch OB's at 8 weeks because my old practice split from all-in-one to OB and Gyn. Ever since I've been either told conflicting information, conflicting due dates, and

Can't sleep again

2008-09-15T04:34:00.002-05:00

4:34 a.m. and I can't sleep. Thankfully it's not because I'm in a lot of pain, that has moved to a very low almost non-existent roar now. I just woke up wide awake at 3:00 and haven't been to sleep yet.Not even my new boyfriend, the body pillow can lull me back in. I need to start keeping good magazines around for these nights.

As promised

2008-09-13T23:31:00.002-05:00

I got glasses today! Woo hoo!

Pain

2008-09-13T19:47:00.002-05:00

Ever since Thursday's appointment I can't stop thinking about those 2 little punches and that little face. However, Friday morning around 3:00 a.m. I didn't have any other choice but to focus on it constantly. I've been in pretty awful pain in my left ovary region since then. I know somewhere deep inside me, the baby is fine, but man am I uncomfortable.I even called the after hours line at my

14 Weeks Appointment

2008-09-11T12:45:00.002-05:00

I guess all the genetic stuff is NEXT week so I have to come back in for that in about a week. Also, I'm 14 weeks instead of 13 weeks now. So due date is back to 3/7/08 and I'm officially in my 2nd trimester. Personally, I think they are just using my last period instead of all that baby measuring I did early on, but oh well. It's not an exact science anyways.I also couldn't pee for the first

Eat, Pray, Love

2008-09-09T19:57:00.007-05:00

I realize I'm a wee late on the bandwagon for the Eat Pray Love book craze and all, at least according to the ladies on my train. You see, I spot trends from how many ladies on the train are reading a particular book, carrying their lunch in a little boutique's shopping bag, or wearing a particular shirt or shoe style. And about 3 months ago, the train was a buzzing with this book.Not only due

I said day-um!!

2008-09-08T19:22:00.003-05:00

This shiz is off the chain, yo.My belly is sorta fascinating to me, I admit. I pick clothes that show it off to maximum levels and constantly stare down at it. I mean, it's just....round-ish and potrudish and eeep. I love it.Besides not wearing anything but maternity pants, my other big introduction into pregnancy is my feet. I can't wear heels anymore. They shoot pains up my legs instantly,

Okay

2008-09-04T20:47:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the rant. I'm okay. In fact, better than okay. We had an emergency doc. appointment just to make me feel better and to check the heartbeat since I was experiencing a lot of "stuff" down in the "region" after stopping the hormones.Turns out, it's still at 150-ish strong and instantly we both sighed a sigh of relief.We are pretty attached to this little nugget. If you couldn't tell?

God damn it

2008-09-02T23:37:00.003-05:00

Why? What about my biological father makes me waste more tears on him than anyone else, yet he cares the least about my tears? Why does he get to me, even when he barely talks to me? Why do I still need him in my life?I sit here when I need to be in bed because I have to get up early for genetic testing, bawling my eyes out for no reason other than I can't stop thinking about a snide email

Energy Bar

2008-08-27T10:29:00.002-05:00

There is something so “white yuppie tool” about walking around with a Starbucks cup in hand, but damn if I can’t resist the urge to do it. Especially with one in my building and one on the walk in.Anyhoo, so with theMan working 16 hour days, including the weekends for the next 3 weeks I’ve found myself with a lot of free time in the evenings. Not sure what the difference is from having him home

$40

2008-08-24T21:20:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty good at garage sales and finding deals. It was a rite of passage in my family to go with my great-grandparents with a $1 in hand and set out to get as much as you can. I learned to negotiate and I learned that second-hand goods can be a treasure.But this Saturday morning with $40 in hand, proved extra fruitful. I got 2 bags of maternity clothes (and nice Gap shirts and pants too) and

30 or Best Birthday Ever

2008-08-20T09:24:00.005-05:00

My god. I couldn't have even imagined that my 30th birthday would be as awesome as it turned out. My sister is amazing. My husband and family are amazing. My friends are amazing. My life is amazing.Friday I take the day off work bcause my mom is in town. I start the day by getting to see Coen when he wakes up all crazy-haired and cuddly. Then I head to my first OB appointment with my new

The last of my 20's

2008-08-14T16:41:00.003-05:00

Well folks, I made it. So far. I have 3 days until I'm no longer in the fabulous head-fuck that is my 20's! I fully expect to wake up Monday morning, know exactly what I want to do with my life, be confident in the decisions I've made, feel comfortable in my own skin and ready to take on the world all while casting a coy little smile at those 20 years olds on the hunt for a man.Umm......I'll

Outfits fit for a Embryo

2008-08-11T10:27:00.002-05:00

So we bit the bullet, girded up our loins (no idea what that means, but it sounds like something that takes intense concentration) and headed out to get this kid an outfit. Just a little good luck charm. A little "Hey Embryo, don't die, we already love you" talisman!It was kinda hard though. I mean, we tilted back and forth from trying to find something "perfect" and "special" to just

8 Weeks 3 days corrected

2008-08-05T16:10:00.003-05:00

Best appointment ever! I apparently am just a week behind b/c we got the little bugger on the last try of that month. Who knew! So I’m only 8 weeks 3 days, not 9 weeks 3 days. He almost doubled in size, 1.1 to 1.8 cm and the heartbeat went from 140 to 167!! It really looks like a baby too. Kinda weird!!I have 3 new cysts, which the doctor said she wanted to see, that means it’s sustaining the

Mother's Day

2008-08-04T15:41:00.002-05:00

Man, having this little green olive (that’s how big it is now) in me is making me do a big ol’ 180. I haven’t missed boozing or 11:00 p.m. or cute clothes and high heels one bit. In fact, all I can think about is 1.) not puking, 2.) where are my Tums?!?!, 3.) Will my pants stay up as I stand at the copier, even though completely unbuttoned? and 4.) What the hell kind of mother am I going to be?

God's Precious Gift to me

2008-07-31T13:29:00.003-05:00

Sure, yes, our child is ultimately god's precious gift, but more urgently...TUMS. Holy mother of god do I love those things. I can almost handle the nausea as I haven't actually puked yet. But the indigestion is really hitting me hard. It doesn't matter what I eat, it all makes me burn down to my stomach and up to the back of my throat. ALL DAY LONG.So today I finally picked up some Tums in "

Heartbeat 140

2008-07-28T15:27:00.003-05:00

Everything is good. We are measuring a week behind which made me bawl like an idiot for most of the appointment, but after calming down and my homies doing a little research for me, it’s probably fine. My cervix is closed, all my signs are good and the heartbeat was 140. The doctor didn't even seem concerned but was matter-of-fact in that we just have to wait and see.We saw the heartbeat

Maternity Wear is all flowers

2008-07-27T19:45:00.002-05:00

What a long needed relaxing weekend that was. Started it off by spending Friday night sleeping. Literally 14 hours of sleep. Only slight interruptions but I never had any trouble getting back to the business at hand.My husband is a god for letting me be THIS lazy. Okay, not lazy, just really tired and cranky.He didn't have any weddings this weekend and I didn't have to drive 1,050 miles so we

Obligatory Birthday Post

2008-07-25T10:41:00.005-05:00

So my birthday is coming up and it's a big one: 3-0. Up until July 4th and the great "peeing on every stick available" I was so stoked and worried that nothing I would do would be big enough to celebrate it. (I kinda have a thing about my birthday, sue me.) I wanted to dance, do karaoke, take a trip, eat a ton of good food, be with all of my friends. Now, eh, I just want it to get here

7 Weeks

2008-07-22T16:32:00.002-05:00

Hi! Remember me? Crazy insande peeing-on EPT lady? Well, I just got back from a girl's trip to Memphis and my god. My intestinal tract is slowly recovering from the pork, ice cream and 100 degree heat.I shall have a full on trip report this week and pictures are going up slowly but surely in Flickr. However, I thought I'd let you in on a little pregnancy news. The news being I can no longer

Pusha

2008-07-14T16:54:00.004-05:00

I annouced it yesterday at work at the big meeting and everyone cheered. They were talking about the ladies in HR that both had babies over the weekend and asked if anyone else had any news. My friend elbowed me so I said, "Um, apparently I sit too close to HR because now I'm pregnant."Then they annouced my promotion. Kinda felt like my own little party. Ha!Had our "consultation" doctor

1278

2008-07-11T14:12:00.002-05:00

That was agonizing.Hcg levels went up to 1278 (tripled from Tuesday's 402!--were only looking to double) but progesterone went down to 7.5 from 9.2. So I have to take ahem, vaginal suppositories for 10 weeks. theMan said he would help...what a dear.I LOVE THIS!!!!!!Best news yet...if they didn’t do this blood test I would have miscarried eventually should my progesterone have kept declining.

Banging Veins Boogaloo 2

2008-07-10T15:06:00.004-05:00

Blood draw #2 is in the can people! I'm hoping with all my might that it's fine, my HcG has doubled and my progesterone is A-OK. But if not, we'll figure it out. Will know tomorrow by noon, doctor promised not to make me wait all weekend!It's really hard to explain but I am sooooo calm. I feel more at peace and happy than I have in a long time.Even when I've nt been sleeping great (laying awake

402

2008-07-09T12:50:00.000-05:00

Got the call. She said, "Very much pregnant." My hormone levels (HCG) are 402 which she said was right on track for how far along I was. I have to get another blood test in the morning because my progesterone was a litttttllllee shy of where they liked to see it. I was at 9.2 and they like to see it between 11-12 or something. I love how careful they are being!If it's still low I think I

Ugh

2008-07-08T15:50:00.003-05:00

Got my blood drawn. I was 1/2 hour early and Miss Eager Beaver. The girl in the lab didn't think it was funny when I told her that if this blood test says "negative" I'm suing EPT for my money back from 5 pregnancy tests.So I came back and subsequently did the following while I wait:-Got heartburn-Ate cup of chilli-Ate a peach and hot tea-Ate 100 cal. cupcakes-Ate candy bar-Ate bag of

Oh the Huge Manatees

2008-07-07T16:33:00.002-05:00

Blood test scheduled for 9:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. Freaking out big time scheduled for 9:01 a.m.I will report back in the day or two when we have the results.Although I took another test this morning, because the batteries finally died in the digital one I took on Saturday. After carrying it around in my purse all weekend. Sleeping next to it and staring at it.Still says "Pregnant". And it's

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